The tragic comedy

Lydia- there's a homeless person, you got any change?

Matt- I'm not giving a homeless person money!


Lydia- Don't you have a policy to help the homeless? I know I do!

Matt-No that would hurt my investment portfolio that largely consist of life insurance policies taken out on people who sleep under bridges.

Mary- are those life insurance policies paying off?

Matt- not as much as they used to, I used to be able to count on a cold winter, damn global warming!

Mary- I don't see why the banks can't share all those foreclosed houses they can't sell.

Matt- for the same reason we can't share houses with termites, they'll rip out the copper plumbing and sell it for crack.

Mary- why can't the government just print more money and give it to them?

Matt- I don't know, but they can print out something to give them that's just as lucrative, gay pornography.

Um, you lost me. I am not even sure where.

Needs work, a lot of work.

Keep at it though as I am sure you have a point in there somewhere.

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a reply to: SpecialSauce


Veiled one-liners of social commentary do not a short story make.

(I suspect it was a little short, green fellow that first uttered that line.)