My first relationship. My first breakup.

originally posted by: Night Star
You did.

whoa whoa! Trust me, I am pretty shaken over this. We were actually talking about moving in together next month. I was taking care of her daughter during the days (I worked night shift.)

This was not easy for me to break up with her. This was not a light decision at all.

I definitely had my pouts and cries and drunken rants all last month. I am human just like anyone else.

Welcome to growing up..

Hearts break and reform , everyone thinks their heartache is the most accute or intense thing ever but you can take comfort in knowing that millions of people are right where you are and have made it just fine.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I mean, when we hung out with friends she'd hug some other friend more than me, her "brother" sorta friend and well since I would be leaving pretty soon after that and rarely be able to see her it would well, it'd get to me. Maybe I was an idiot, but things get to me easily.

Yeah, fall fast and hard. How do people go into a relationship without already really loving the person. I told her that I loved her and then we actually started being together. We had already discussed other such issues prior. She was my Valentine. Some of the memories make me happy, so long I don't remember that I lost her. Why would anyone be ashamed for loving fast and hard. I love it. I literally love loving. Being able to show that without needing a reason other than I want to.

You're right, we need to be ready for the next one, hopefully the last and it's always grand to have ATS and friends in reality along with hobbies to keep busy and supported. My main issue is finding a girl that likes the music I like. Ah, there will be one. It'll be fine. Life always gets better. That is a fact.

a reply to: Night Star
Oh, yeah I can sort of understand. Admittedly in my relationship we had some issues, but overall it was the greatest feeling ever. I hope it turns out fine. Everyone deserves the best. Be strong. I'm terrible with these things. I can help a friend I know well, or try, but sometimes it's just hard to know what to say to make things right for someone.

May be a reading fail on my part, but how long were you with her?

a reply to: Tiamat384

I've heard the best way to meet someone new is just to explore your own hobbies and interests in a more public environment. I for one am going to try signing up for a beginner's dance class or something. It'll give me a chance to try something very different, step out of my comfort zone, and meet other people.

It sounds like great advice to me.

originally posted by: mikeone718
May be a reading fail on my part, but how long were you with her?

Just shy of 1 year.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
It does sound like great advice. Any time a girl has liked me in the past I've literally done nothing, for whatever reason they were attracted to me despite having just about no contact or limited. I'm horrible actually trying to talk to a random person, something I should work on, but I am trying to do what I enjoy doing, though not in a public environment. How public can one be about writing? Next year I'll join a club or two in my college. Meet people that way and gain some experiences.

Hmm, dancing. Only way I'm learning is with the girl I'll be in a relationship with. Useful skill then. Take care of yourself and your own interests I've heard. Sounds decent.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

things always happen for a reason man, but really, those shorter term relationships always leave that "what if" in the back of one's mind. give it a few weeks.

if not, hit the gym, have a few guys night out nights and be on your toes the next time a pretty smile with long hair swings by

originally posted by: Tiamat384
How public can one be about writing? Next year I'll join a club or two in my college. Meet people that way and gain some experiences.

Very public! Check your community colleges. I bet they have poetry groups and peer review groups. They are a blast. There is a meetup group in my town that gets together for group writing and review. I am sure you can find access to one as well. If not, start one!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
Good point actually. Some form of writing/creative writing club would be great to join though I will wait for the Fall semester. There is a club called, "Writers Society". Should be worth checking out. Do you write? Just asking because you say they are a blast.

originally posted by: Tiamat384
Do you write?

I have done lots of creative writing in the past. Both in groups and solo. Lately my writing is limited to the drivel I post on ATS

I'm thankful for my anhedonia that I should never suffer from these "feelings" which seem to incapacitate you so. I've never said I love you to anyone, including my family. Not once in my entire life that I can recall. I just don't feel anything, can't relate or understand. Physically makes me nauseous when I hear the word. I grew up in a very well functioning household & my parents are still together.

May I never find love & die young, amen.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
Well I wouldn't call it drivel and what topics do you tend to write about? You should certainly post some of your work

a reply to: Esoterotica

I'll open another beer to that

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
You have more to go around I assume?

Like anything else, it gets better. I know the pain brother, but it really is better to have loved. Any good time is a good memory.

I could play the tough love angle lol suck it up you're still young and a year is a flash in the pan.

I broke it off with the love of my life after FIVE years at the tender age of 21, and it was tough. It gets better, but woah man workplace relationships are notoriously not smart, good thing you are moving out of there!

Seriously though, just remember the good and keep on keepin on

Funny, my mind always drifts to my ex when I'm at work...

Well it seems you're handling it like a pro, all I can say is be careful.

The next couple of months either of you might try to restart/rekindle the relationship depending on the hardships and thoughts you face.

DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. Many people base a relationship on ups and downs ie. breaking up and getting back together again constantly because they need the drama and emotion which that entails. Don't fall into this trap, it's a dark hole of despair. I don't know how the situation stands, but if she calls you in a month or 5 and wants to meet for coffee or whatever, just say no.

It seems you're dealing with this as an adult and that is very commendable. Just watch your step and interactions over the next couple of months. It's so easy to fall into the traps.

Hope all goes well with the new job, and that you find yourself moving on, without to much thought going towards the past.

Well done and Godspeed!
Sincerely,
GG.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Brother don't i know all about it, long ago when chat was still a feature i was in the midst of the struggle and quite distraught you reached out to me and i think you for that. having said that I don't know the full answer yet, but i do know words have power and what we tell ourselves is so very important, that if we want a different story we have to change the story we tell ourselves, anyway rock and roll brother ramble on.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

It looses the sting after about the 7th one.