Allergic to her cat

So the connection and binary relationship between the girl has changed from friends to Lovers to committed monagomos relationship over past month. I stay at her house maybe 3-4 nights a week.

So the dillemma in a literal but also metaphorical sense, not entirely relating to the pet itself but several other constructs of her life world, I am allergic to cats. She has an indoor cat and I do put up with it (don't get me wrong I do love animals, the cats and some dogs they cause irritation of the eyes nose and throat although) but in a sense as long as the relation exists I will experience a certain level of discomfort.

For her to stay at my residence is out if the question at this point for various reasons I will not divulge, although she has mentioned several times moving in together in the future, that would place the allergy discomfort to a more continuous level.

The cat is not just the physical manifestation, as the cat is something very dear to her and I do not want to change that, but as stated it is somewhat toxic to my health. On various other levels of life world differences this may be applied.

To what level because of care and desire to be with another being in a binary relationship is it appropriate to compromise with these uncomfortable facts that are imbedded in an otherwise beneficial situation?

Has anyone experienced the same or similar situation and what were the results and actions?

This is the second time I've been in this situation, the first was several years ago. I loved her enough I was able to trivialize the allergies, but that only lasted 11 months. Currently the binary track ive stepped into may continue much longer.

try some binary honesty.

a reply to: sociolpath

Seems like a pretty simple scenario here....

Either you:

a) put up with the allergies
b) don't and break things off with this lady
c) don't and get rid of the cat

My partner is allergic to cats also, and she actually didn't even like them when we first started seeing each other 4 years ago. Now she loves cats and puts up with the allergies although taking anti-histamines every day - or when the allergies are especially bad - definitely helps.

I can't imagine she'd be happy giving up her cat; I know I wouldn't. Some cats are better than others for allergies. Long-haired species are actually the best for this as they shed less hair. Obviously a Sphinx would be ideal (bald)


If you had 3 seconds to pick one of those options right now, what would you pick?

Binary relationship huh? Why don't you live a little and try something hexadecimal?

a reply to: sociolpath

If she really loves you she will ditch the cat.

If she can't she doesn't love you.

a reply to: sociolpath

Talk to your doctor about allergy shots. That has the potential to reduce your body's allergic reaction specifically to cats.

Ohhoho maaan,
This is where you'll find out who loves who more.


I don't know you at all I know....
But your gonna lose.
And I'm sorry for that, bro.

I will wish upon you luck, and not only of the Irish kind.


For the record:
RUN!

a reply to: sociolpath

Try an OTC allergy med. See if you can help her get a vacuum meant for pet hair with a good filter and attachments? make sure the cat is brushed daily so it doesn't shed so much? There are $3 cat fur wipes at the pet store that will remove any remaining excess hair. A good cat shampoo with aloe vera will control dander amounts.

Depending on the type of cat, many can be given a 'lion cut' down to little or no fur from neck to tail and butt region. That helps.

a reply to: reldra


I give you a star,
Cause your avatar....
Is SWEET!

*comes in to make obvious sexual joke.... resists and then leaves again*

a reply to: Thundersmurf

A and B are my only options, there's no way the cats going anywhere.

In 3 seconds I'd pick A, as B is always an option right.

The metaphorical cat in the room is the difference between our social capabilities. I have a limited ability do deal with social situations while she is most comfortable surrounded by people.

When we are alone together (binary) this is not the issue, as when the cat is out of the room. Our 1 on 1 time together is better than I've experienced with any human up until this point, which is why I am even trying to figure this out.
But then while surrounded by people I am not so comfortable. The gold thing is we have been able to talk about these things, so its not in the dark although a balance of how to deal with it is not discovered yet. It's still a new relationship.

To sum it up, consistently having allergies is uncomfortable as well as more social than normally do, but at this point I am thinking its better than being alone.

Is compromise normal in any relationship? And to what degree? If I'm not able to adjust and be comfortable over time are these valid reasons for option B?

And not past taking medication for the allergies, although not the social anxiety already been there done that and had only negative long term effects. My brain and body do best without any medications, although if allergy meds have a low enough footprint on my healthi would consider.

a reply to: sociolpath


So settling for someone who owns a cat which triggers your sinus/allergy situation is better than being alone?

Get an air purifier. There are some that are cheap and got good ratings from people with allergies to animals and what-not. Also get the pet wipes as someone else recommended.

I also recommend you getting an air purifier, or you could knock your girl up, show her the health hazard of being pregnant with a cat around, and she'll most likely chose the baby over the cat...

Yeah, just get a purifier.

originally posted by: TheLieWeLive
I also recommend you getting an air purifier, or you could knock your girl up, show her the health hazard of being pregnant with a cat around, and she'll most likely chose the baby over the cat...

Yeah, just get a purifier.

But the cat is cheaper and easier to care for.

Get rid of the cat, instead it gonna kill you off in your sleep. Afterwards buy her some rock, and put it on her finger. She will be the happiest girl on the planet. Hehe

Your best bet is to eradicate all feelings from your being & never be in another relationship again.

a reply to: sociolpath

I wouldn't advocate asking her to get rid of the cat - Some of us will choose the daemonic furballs over another human (is it any wonder why I don't have a girlfriend yet?).

My ex was allergic to cats, and to make a compromise I would clean extra hard when she came to visit or stay for a bit - A lot of it involved making sure my cat was brushed out so that there was less hair (the cat wasn't complaining to this).

Maybe something like my situation could help? I'd put up with the allergies, but that's me.

-fossilera

Well cleaning more and just putting up with the allergies is my chosen course of action, this woman is real sweet and really cares about me which seems to be tough to find these days especially for someone such as myself.

I'm sure she won't mind if I am cleaning her house periodically either lol, she's not a clean freak but doesn't like a mess, so I guess at this point it benefits us both to take that course of action.