a reply to: TrueBrit
I certainly have a level of admiration for that... you and I have certain similarities there.
I sacrificed myself and any attention to my own happiness long ago out of concern for my child.
I don't want to go into the choices I made here, because it is not good for me to dwell on it- but I'll say this, I would not be here in France if I
had put my desires before the percieved well being of my son. I adapted and learned to live with my decisions eventually.
The reason I now have a slightly different view is because my son is an adult now, and I can percieve ways in which my self sacrifice actually has had
a less than beneficial effect upon him. Somehow, without ever speaking of such things, kids feel it all... they live your internal experience with
Carl Jung once said, "Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of
I suspect there is some truth to that now. But if you are truly content with the way you are living right now, then so be it (and it sounds like there
is a level of pleasure in the knowledge that you are focused on a reason for acting that has deep meaning for you? I get that. )
But like in your case, I can't help but think - if only we could help families a bit so that there doesn't have to be this selfless sacrifice in
order to earn some security?
Perhaps I have become too used to the french system, where time with your family is the number one protected value.
What good is a society that is turning out personalities that develop in one extreme or another - those sacrificing self like martyrs for work, and
those who (in reaction) refuse to sacrifice their comfort or pleasure to such "slavery" ?
This makes for a split in the society, it makes for "givers" and "takers", instead of each individual being both at different times. It makes for
individuals not recognizing their self in others.
The idea that has been expressed here, that social programs, if they worked, would come to a point of no longer being needed.
I disagree. I think that there is always some people having a hard time at some time. The problem is when the help is considered to only be for the
ones at the very bottom, in the worst of situations, so that if they begin to climb out, the aid is swept out from their feet immediately. (get a
minimum wage job, your aid is stopped completely, not cut down progressively)
THAT is what causes them to stay down there and identify as a reciever who does not work and pay into the system.
Because there is no middle ground in the US system, in which middle class people can be both.
Small business is destroyed in that system too.