posted on Nov, 9 2015 @ 02:05 AM
I'm a fan of the advice in the OP.
A lot of people want to be understood, first and foremost. If you disagree, it doesn't mean much unless you understand what it is you are disagreeing
with! Your arguments won't even be applicable or relevant.
Sometimes I see people get those mixed up - that "understand" is synonymous with "agree".
But for some people, being able to step so deeply into the shoes of another, and see through their eyes, is very difficult to do without sort of
trapping them there - they find it difficult to jump back into their own view at will.
My father always felt that philosophy should be a requirement in high school or in college, because it is a necessary tool for living - to learn this
Their fear is- if I come to empathize or understand, than I will no longer be able to oppose.
That means that even attempts to make them understand can feel threatening; like attempting to coerce them in a sneaky way.
So distrust of each of each other is at the base of most really ugly clashes.
It would be easy to just judge that as bad.... except if it is true for some people that empathizing will bring about an uncontrollable change in
them, then they are justifed in resisting.
I know that my discussions with people on forums over the years brought about huge growth for me mentally. Sometimes it was the people I clashed with
most that had the most impact. Often it would be much later, that I would come to the conclusion that they were right - long after I no longer had
contacts with them. Searching for immediate signs of result or outcome is sometimes counter productive.