"I'm OK now, but I'll tell ya...last week I was in rough shape."
Rodney is one of the best comics ever. Here are some of my favorites:
I get no respect. Even as a kid, I got no respect. I asked my dad if I could go ice-skating. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
My dad carried around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet.
My mother got morning sickness after I was born.
And my wife, she's no prize. She's a terrible cook. At my house, we pray after we eat.
I told her that I dont think meat loaf should glow in the dark.
I went to see my doctor...I told him "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He
said, "I don't know, but your vision's perfect."
My kids were afraid of the dark. Then they saw me naked, getting out of the shower. Now they're afraid of the light.
My kids cried when they found out they weren't adopted.
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the
guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
I know I'm not handsome. On Halloween, when I open the door, the kids give me candy!
I went to a hooker. She told me she had a headache.
I know I'm not a sexy man. This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys laughing at me.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
I know I drink too much. When my doctor drew blood from me, he had to run a tab.
edit on 23-10-2015 by ColeYounger because: (no reason given)
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