Will you watch my new show?

It's called 'turf traders.'

It is essentially an hour of yours truly talking to people about turf. I got the idea from a somewhat successful and mind numbing show where unremarkable people sell their junk to equally unremarkable people. I figured that if I can pander to a crowd that has nothing better to do then watch the latest iteration of 'reality TV' then surely I am a shoe in since turf is a growing commodity.

Pawn stars? bah. Hardcore pawn? soft. Paint driers? Not worth watching. I hope to bring a new level of mediocrity that makes 'hardcore clock repairs' look like ' Boston shoe polishers.'

Who's with me?

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

We should talk....

Hell, ill be your first guest.
We will flood the market with turf

a reply to: olaru12

I'll get my people to talk to your people. I'm too busy filming the first season of 'Cincinati sewer kings.'

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I figured that if I can pander to a crowd that has nothing better to do then watch the latest iteration of 'reality TV' then surely I am a shoe in since turf is a growing commodity.

Good luck with that.

I'll watch as long as you don't have a laugh track telling me it's funny. I can't handle the crap that's being spoon fed to the masses on tv and radio.

Oh and strickly the driest of humour only. No laugh tracks as mentioned and lots of awkward pauses. Thats sure to captivate the audience.

I don't know dood
Turf...

I think Japans got it on lock

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

add scantily clad women drinking too much and fighting and you got a number one show on your hands.

originally posted by: subfab
a reply to: Thecakeisalie

add scantily clad women drinking too much and fighting and you got a number one show on your hands.

I considered that idea, but 'Miamis hottest jurors' beat me to it.

Your OP is spot on.
I don't watch TV much, but when I do I prefer something that won't bring my IQ level down 10 points.

A brief summary of TV's mind-numbing drek:
The A & E network:
Programs about hillbillies, programs about people buying junk out of rental storage units, programs about prison guards, programs about tatoo parlors. I'll stop now.
(This is hilarious, because A & E is supposed to stand for 'Art and Entertainment')


The TLC network:
The Learning Channel? Their program lineup doesn't even deserve mention. It's literally horrible beyond description..

The History Channel:
What's really sad is that they could broadcast real historical data 24 hours a day and never run out of material.
It could be fascinating.
But no!! Ice Road Truckers, Counting Cars, American Pickers. The other day, my 9-year old niece said they were learning about The Renaissance in history class. I told her they'll probably learn about ice road truckers next semester.

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

When I had cable I remember seeing an ad for a show about toilets. Toilets.

Just. Toilets.

It really depends on what kind of turf if I'll watch.

I ain't watchin' no show with un-American turf!!!!

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I was all set to DVR Paint Driers before I realized this was a satirical rant.

originally posted by: mymymy
It really depends on what kind of turf if I'll watch.

I ain't watchin' no show with un-American turf!!!!

That gives me some ideas for alternative titles:

All American Turf
Red, White and Green

a reply to: theantediluvian

Red white and green seems less American and more Hungarian though..

a reply to: ColeYounger

I don't watch TV either, for many reason.

Your examples about the stations and their shows are spot on. It's pathetic, but it's reflective of society and the business model. People want to be entertained, to turn off their brains, so these stations that began as educational have to modernize their programming to stay afloat and to stay relevant, hence all this reality crap on History, TLC, etc. Strictly educational TV would likely sink them because people don't want to "think" any longer.

It's a shame.

Back to the OP, no I wouldn't watch that show.

But it gave me a great idea for a reality show that people actually *would* watch.

a reply to: ColeYounger

I can't agree with you more. I used to love watching documentaries on The History Channel, learning about actual history of vehicles and machines with Modern Marvels, learning about the world wars, great depression, etc. I loved watching TLC and the Discovery channel for shows that actually taught you something about nature or a medical condition or whatever. Now it's all literal garbage. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, if you turn to The History Channel right now, they will be playing Pawn Stars. TLC will be playing some garbage about having way too many children and/or wives, and Discovery... what do they even play anymore?

I haven't even bothered paying for Cable TV in years because of that crap. I used to actually watch something every now-and-then and be intrigued and learn something on one of those channels, but now there's nothing worth watching and if I want to learn something, I'm going to have to go to the internet or read a book.

originally posted by: theantediluvian
a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I was all set to DVR Paint Driers before I realized this was a satirical rant.

I watch that every day at work in the body shop.

It is actually way more entertaining than the drivel they throw on TV nowadays.

It is a shame that your show will be airing at the same time as my new show "Extreme Laundry." The first episode is all about the drama that ensues after a bottle of laundry detergent with a loose cap, is left sitting on top of an improperly loaded washing machine.

Thanks for reminding me why I am glad I don't own a t.v. anymore.