posted on Aug, 21 2015 @ 02:06 PM
Something that has been happening to me for a few weeks now... after some (online) research, I ended up accepting it's
depersonalisation/derealisation. I was wondering if anybody here has some experience with it.
Here's what I've been going thorough:
It started a few weeks ago. I was washing my hands before going to bed and I looked at the mirror. I just couldn't recognise myself. I knew it was
me, I could tell the features were "right", but it didn't feel like it was me. I stared at my reflection for some time and all I could think was
"have I always looked like this? I thought I was different".
As you can imagine, that was scary as hell.
However, it was also pretty late, about four or five in the morning. So I assumed I was just extremely tired, went to bed and that was it. Next day, I
was completely able to recognise my reflection.
That said, this has happened a couple other times after this incident. Since the first time it happened went away after I had gotten a good night's
sleep, I decided the other times were just a consequence of being too tired.
Another thing that has happened: a couple weeks ago, I was driving. I was on a highway and going rather fast (it was a highway, after all), but then
the car in front of me stopped abruptly. I hit the break in time, but it was scary...
...except that I wasn't scared? I was suddenly hit by the feeling that I was dreaming. I knew I wasn't dreaming, I have been lucid dreaming for many
years now, I can tell the difference between dreams and reality pretty well. But the FEELING was there.
I assumed (I do a lot of assuming, I know) it was a reaction to stress. It was a considerably dangerous situation and I figured it was my brain's way
of coping with it. The feeling went away in less than an hour.
Last night, though... I was driving, again, but I was stuck. Traffic jam. Nothing serious, I was listening to music, minding my own business. And then
I started feeling weird. I felt strangely disconnected to everything around me. And disconnected to myself. I was really numb. Paradoxically, I also
felt like was on the verge of having a terrible panic attack. I have no idea how it's possible to be both numb and extremely anxious, but that was
what I was feeling.
And this lasted for many hours.
I was terrified and I seriously considered that I was actually losing my mind and going officially crazy. Once I got home, I started looking around
the internet, and this is when I ran into depersonalisation/derealisation.
So, ATS... anyone out there who's been through this? If so, maybe we could talk?