At Age 3 — Transitioning From Jack To Jackie

a reply to: paraphi

Yes, it's the parents ignorance. They should be charged with child abuse for the psychological damage that they are inflicting on their child.

A three year old that just learned to speak believes in Santa and the tooth fairy, or anything else their parents encourage.

a reply to: Shamrock6

Gender isn't a decision. That's what you're not getting.

a reply to: Kali74

I never said there would be harm, I'm just curious.

It's a very unique phenomenon when a TODDLER seemingly self identifies with the opposite gender.

I have run into parents that are very 'tuned-in' to their children's quirks and behavioral issues, and not surprised they find a 'medical and/or surgical' solution to this problem of sexual misidentification , they (the parents) are only trying to give their kids "everything" they want in life even if it includes transition.
in this case becoming a "family" issue/problem.

a reply to: Liquesence

As Darth Prime pointed out, toddlerhood is exactly when kids figure out gender and gender roles.

Issues such as this one popping up, in my opinion, will become recurrent, as society adjusts and begins to accept the transition of traditional beliefs, to a more acceptable and tolerant society.

Having said that, I am no professional on the subject; however, if it were my child I would leave them be and become whatever it is they want to identify with, male/female.

In addition, I wouldn't force or try and modify their experience based on my own beliefs or ideals, instead; letting them identify with themselves and the world around them.

If in fact through their experience they choose either path, I would love them regardless and support them. It's who've they become, and I have no right to tell them it's wrong.

As a male I am glad I have taken a lot of my mother's traits, it gave me compassion, sensitivity and strong emotions. I guess it's fair to say that when I look at the world or my relationships, I see them through the eyes of my mother.

a reply to: Kali74

And you're "not getting" that a three year old saying "I'm not supposed to be a boy" is hardly something that can be called definitive and something a three year old is capable of deciding.

For all anybody knows he and big sister could've been playing, he did something "boy like" and his sister told him he wasn't supposed to be a boy.

a reply to: Shamrock6

Somehow I doubt the parents are going off of one declaration.

a reply to: Kali74

Yea, the kid liked playing dress up and wearing the older sister's clothes. Gee, wonder how that started.

Kid made a comment and parent took them to a store to get ponytail bands.

The article starts out with the older sister pretending to be a burrito, so hopefully the parents are as supportive of that transition as the other.

a reply to: Kali74

And as I pointed out, regardless of what Darth's article says, I'd like to what extent environment plays a role.

How many single children seemingly identify with the opposite gender at such an early age?
How many males with older sisters seemingly identify with the opposite gender and vice versa at such an early age?

That's what I'm getting at and what I addressed in the OP: what is the likelihood this child would have identified with the opposite gender had he not had an older sister? Is there a way to even know?

a reply to: Liquesence

that's a good point, I suspect had he been born with an older brother rather than an older sister, this would not be happening today
it's all speculation and "personal" opinions

a reply to: Shamrock6

Using your astronaut scenario... if your kid said "I'm an astronaut!" of course you wouldn't send them to them moon but maybe make them a rocket ship and helmet from cardboard boxes or something? Get them some glowing stars or a cosmic night light?

I don't think Mom immediately putting the childs hair in ponytails means they accepted transgender immediately. It's probably something they just let happen, let the child wear dresses as much as they want, say they're a girl as much as they want and after a time as the child asserted more and more that he was a girl, finally said yeah, you're a girl.

it happens a lot even with only children

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: Kali74

I never said there would be harm, I'm just curious.

It's a very unique phenomenon when a TODDLER seemingly self identifies with the opposite gender.

Unique phenomenon, wow, you make it sound paranormal. Who cares, leave them be. There's nothing wrong with identifying with your feminine side, after all, as I recall, a woman gave me birth.

It's ridiculous to believe just because your male or female that we can't identify with either just because we're a certain sex. Having said that, I also don't think, in my opinion, it's the parents right to force a young child either way.

If they identify with either as they grow and begin to question, guide them, make them aware, support them, ultimately it's their life.

a reply to: Kali74

"Probably", "likely", "most likely", all of that is just guesswork. We don't KNOW any of that.

I know if my kid looked sad and said "I'm not supposed to be a boy" I would ask a hell of a lot more questions than "are you happy?" as I'm driving to the store for ponytail holders.

originally posted by: Darth_Prime
Just for a reference, and also you don't just wake up one day and decide to be GLBTQ+

www.healthychildren.org...

Around two-years-old, children become conscious of the physical differences between boys and girls. Before their third birthday, most children are easily able to label themselves as either a boy or a girl. By age four, most children have a stable sense of their gender identity. During this same time of life, children learn gender role behavior—that is, do­ing "things that boys do" or "things that girls do."

There are some things that I agree with you on, but this assessment is just wrong. They are understanding and noticing that there are differences at that age, but children that young are in NOT CAPABLE of making a decision about switching genders. Here, you are cherry picking what you want and ignoring the rest of the applicable biology, neurochemistry, cognitive capacity, developmental curves and social factors.

No. No. No. In no way is a child that young capable of making that decision. Period. Done. Foot down. This is irresponsible and potentially very psychologically damaging to a child that young.

a reply to: Shamrock6

As I'm sure these parents in the article did... it was just an article though and not a book.

a reply to: Kali74

We can hope.

Then again, seems odd that they'd tell a story about how Jackie "stood her ground" at a pool party in some degree of detail and yet seem to forget to mention they put much effort into finding out why Jackie feels the way she does.

a reply to: Daedal

If they identify with either as they grow and begin to question, guide them, make them aware, support them, ultimately it's their life.

Exactly. If the desire to be a girl persists as they grow instead of immediately jumping to accept the desire of a 3 year old because it's impossible to know whether it's truly biological or not at such an age.

If they want to play dress up and wear makeup at three and all that jazz, good for them. I'd have some serious questions for my child if it was a boy, though. Not saying I would forbid it, but I there would be a very lengthy discussion and questions. Automatically accepting that with little question and taking that outside the home is a bit rash, IMO. Or maybe taking it outside the home is better than suppressing it, who knows.

Puberty is when a lot of sexual identity kicks in, not in nursery school.