Comedy time - Dumbest things presidents have ever said! Join in on the fun!

I would like to start with my favorite and probably your favorite also, GEORGE W. BUSH!! Here are his top 10..According to politicalhumor.about.com... more here.

10. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

9. "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007 (Watch video clip)

8. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." --Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000 (Listen to audio clip)

7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense." --Washington, D.C. April 18, 2006 (Read more; listen to audio clip; watch video clip)

6. "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." --Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Watch video clip)

5. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." --Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video clip)

4. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video clip)

3. "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 (Listen to audio clip)

2. "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Listen to audio clip; watch video clip)

1. "My answer is bring them on." --on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

A couple of my favorite:

28. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

20. "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." --Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

19. "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." --Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

11. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

32. "I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake." --on his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006

31. "They misunderestimated me." --Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

Let's move onto Mr Barrack Obama..

''I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go.''

—Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon

''Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya.''

—Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

''I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.''

—President Ronald Reagan

''Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?''

....Yes Mr president, our children is learning more gooder...

—George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2000

''I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.''

—Richard Nixon

''I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man.''

....Yeah Mr. Biden, you don't see that very often with African Americans!!! GAWD....

—Joe Biden, referring to Barack Obama at the beginning of the 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Jan. 31, 2007

''One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'''

—Dan Quayle

''A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States -- Barack America!''

...Not a very close friend...EH???

—Joe Biden, at his first campaign rally with Barack Obama after being announced as his running mate, Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008

''My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!''

—Joe Biden, campaigning in Youngstown, Ohio, May 16, 2012

''People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got.''

—Richard Nixon at a November 17, 1973 news conference

''My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.''

....Is that right??

—Vice President Dick Cheney, on invading Iraq, ''Meet the Press,'' March 16, 2003

''The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.''

...Wait, what???

—Dan Quayle

''You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking.''

....Oh yeah??

—Joe Biden, in a private remark to an Indian-American man caught on C-SPAN, June, 2006

''Facts are stupid things.''

....Aint that the damn truth Mr Reagan???

—Ronald Reagan, at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, ''Facts are stubborn things''

''I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.''

...Well, he is black.....SORRY I HAD TO!! lol

—Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, ''Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far'' (April 26, 2012)

''I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.''

...Haven't we all??

—President Jimmy Carter, in an interview with 'Playboy' one month prior to the 1976 election

''A zebra does not change its spots.''

—Al Gore

''For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex...uh...setbacks.''

....Together??

—President George H.W. Bush, in 1988

''Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately.''

..Kinky

—Joe Biden, Aug. 22, 2012

''Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.''

....WE BELIEVE YOU MR. PRESIDENT!!!!

—President George W. Bush, Aug. 5, 2004

I will keep going for everyone if this is something that people enjoy. I love reading the dumb things presidents/politicians say to the media...Bush is the all time idiot when it comes to dumb things in my mind, but there are other "gems" out there as well!

Please feel free to join in on bashing the dumb things you have heard or read, let's cheer up people so they can get a good laugh at the expense of others! Gotta love it!!

"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." -- Ronald Reagan

You're right Ronnie....let's ban tree farts.

"If you like your insurance, you can keep it"- Barrack Obama.

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

Star and flag for you! These are too funny,the ones that are funny,er I mean some aren't funny. Anyway, I liked them.
Keep em coming folks.

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we

Best Freudian slip ever!

Maybe not the dumbest, but somewhat humorous "we tortured some folks" -Obama

Oh really?

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,"
-Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga)

“Maybe I should offer a good thanks to the distinguished members of the majority, the Republicans, my chairman and others, for giving us an opportunity to have a deliberative constitutional discussion that reinforces the sanctity of this nation and how well it is that we have lasted some 400 years, operating under a constitution that clearly defines what is constitutional and what is not.”
Sheila Jackson Lee, March 12, 2014

One of my favorites!
About airplane windows - "don't open. I don't know why they don't do that," -Mitt Romney

I guess he would like to see screen doors on a submarine to! hahaha

a reply to: Dimithae

''It's your state that fired the shot that was heard around the world! You are the state of Lexington and Concord, you started the battle for liberty right here in your backyard.''

—GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, muddling her American history while speaking in New Hampshire by mistakenly declaring it the birthplace of the American Revolution (the Battles of Lexington and Concord and the shot heard round the world took place in Massachusetts), March 12, 2011

''I get speaker's fees from time to time, but not very much.''

Not very much? If you don't want it, I will sign up anytime!!

—Mitt Romney, who earned $374,000 in speaking fees in one year according to according to his personal financial disclosure (January 2012)

''Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.''

—Texas Gov. Rick Perry, referring to a city that is not in America but across the Texas border in Mexico, February 28, 2011

''I am the Koch brothers' brother from another mother!''

—Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain

''I have six times as many Twitter followers as all the other candidates combined, but it didn't count because if it counted I'd still be a candidate; since I can't be a candidate that can't count.''

—GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, complaining that the press was ignoring his prodigious Twitter following, which had numbered over 1.3 million people. More than 90% of those followers, however, turned out to be fake — the result of Gingrich's campaign hiring a firm to boost his follower count by creating dummy accounts en masse. (August 1, 2011)

''I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence.''

—Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), on the 1976 Swine Flu outbreak that happened when Gerald Ford, not Jimmy Carter, was president, April 28, 2009

originally posted by: Staroth
Maybe not the dumbest, but somewhat humorous "we tortured some folks" -Obama

Oh really?

I don't know, publicly incriminating your predecessor after having already agreed to not investigate the exiting Administration might not "breach" the agreement but pretty dumb. Especially if suddenly indictments started rolling out. Wishful thinking...I know.

Well, what kind of fun have you left us here. You ask us to join in and then proceed to list 35 of the best. THIRTY FIVE. I''ll go off now and scour the internet and try to find another. NOT

Opps you just added several more. I'll be back in two or three days when I have found one to add.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

35 from Bush? There are like a hundred million from different people buddy....Sorry I don't quite understand your complaint hidden in sarcasm here.

I meant just list your favorite, not from my list but from anywhere...

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

Simple. Like at a party and someone says lets tell jokes and then tells several dozen before anyone else can.
Not a complaint, just an observation.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Well next time I will start a thread with one and you can pick one from the site I link instead of finding one yourself if that would make you feel better...Sorry you may have to go outside your comfort zone here, but this was meant to be fun...If you have nothing to add, like everyone else above clearly had no issue doing...Perhaps you can just read them, enjoy, then leave while laughing instead of complaining....My 2 cents

originally posted by: abe froman
"If you like your insurance, you can keep it"- Barrack Obama.

This one will go down in history....Too bad it is a sad but true quote though, I guess so are most of them!

originally posted by: beezzer
"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,"
-Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga)

Wouldn't surprise me a bit if he was telling it because he believed it honestly!! Funny stuff there!!

originally posted by: Staroth
One of my favorites!
About airplane windows - "don't open. I don't know why they don't do that," -Mitt Romney

I guess he would like to see screen doors on a submarine to! hahaha

Screen doors on a submarine....That's good right there!

Why doesn't a airplane window open? Too bad he couldn't get the plane with windows that open and try it out for himself!

The quotes are funny in vision too,

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein
a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Well next time I will start a thread with one and you can pick one from the site I link instead of finding one yourself if that would make you feel better...Sorry you may have to go outside your comfort zone here, but this was meant to be fun...If you have nothing to add, like everyone else above clearly had no issue doing...Perhaps you can just read them, enjoy, then leave while laughing instead of complaining....My 2 cents

Dude, I was just trying to join in the fun you advertised.

let's cheer up people so they can get a good laugh at the expense of others!

I guess I stepped outside of your humor zone. Sorry.