Jesus!

A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said…”Jesus knows you’re here!’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice….say:
“Jesus is watching you!”
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot…

“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yep!” the parrot confessed, then Squawked: “I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you!”
The burglar relaxed, “Warn me huh? Just who in the world are you?”
“I’m Moses!” Replied the bird. “Moses!?!” The burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name their bird Moses?”
“The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus!”

Your avatar is looks kool..

a reply to: MX61000

Thanks buddy!

I have this thing for eyes....The Mangekyou Sharingan is just awesome!

a reply to: Teye22

i whole-heartedly endorse this joke, event and/or product

This one is a bit offensive, you've been warned.

Jesus is hanging on the cross and looking in to the crowd of people below.

He get's enough strength together and calls out, "Peter....Peter....."

Peter upon hearing his lord call, fights through the crowd to the feet of Jesus on the Cross but before Jesus can speak the Guards throw him back in to the crowd.

This happens a few more times until Peter finally fights his way there. Clenching on to the base of the cross yells out, "Yes my lord I'm here, what is it??"

Jesus looks down upon Peter and says, "I can see your house from here."