Going Viral: ‘Sad Sister’ Gets One of the Most Brutally Honest Responses Ever From Advice Column

HAHA!! When I read that I thought " Oh.. wow. Schuyler works as an advice columnist under a pseudonym... "

HEHE!!

a reply to: borntowatch

What? No... Can you go into depth a little more about how I am similar to this woman? She didn't say Christian but she said church, not mosque, not synagogue, and most Christian denominations I know of use "church" and come on let's face it she sounds like a self righteous self proclaimed Christian. It's a template we've seen used before by many of that ilk.

I don't see any problem with me being upset that she is making my whole religion look bad. It's like if I join the Masons and then go around acting like an unenlightened swine and in the same sentence brag about how much time I spend in the Mason Hall and studying Masonry. After you meet enough people like that, you begin to think that, in general, Masons are a bunch of jerks who are terrible for our society.

And you start thinking that Masonry has nothing good to offer to humanity. The honest, hardworking Masons would begin to have a resentment for these people and no longer wish to be associated with them. But according to you they would be acting just like those people they now resent? That doesn't make any sense at all to me personally but I'd love for you to explain this to me so that I might have an opportunity to better myself. You can substitute "Masons" for any other group really... boyscouts, republicans, vegans, NRA member, Mormon...

It's like your brother comes over for a visit and brings his vegan friend, who goes on and on about all the vegan books they've read and how good the lifestyle is, and you notice that when they think nobody is watching, they shove handfuls of meat into their mouth, and then proceed to tell everyone how terrible they are for eating meat and that you should adhere to the vegan lifestyle, like they do! and all the while you're sitting there watching this and you are actually a true vegan who follows all the rules 90-99% of the time and you actually do believe the vegan lifestyle would be good for others and you try to set a good example but you realize people like this are hurting the chances of anyone taking it seriously.

. you probably won't want to accept their invitation to hang out in the future once they realize you are a "fellow vegan" and they want to hang out with you to try to give their own vegan image more authenticity in fact you might be bothered by the fact that you have to be associated with this person because of the term "vegan".

I'm sorry if my examples are not perfect. I'm trying my best to explain it the best I can. I don't hate her. I don't even know her. I have a type of love for her as I do all living things. That doesn't mean I have to like her or appreciate that she is helping to destroy everyone's opinion of something I've dedicated my life to. (because it works for me. though I recognise it might not work for everyone or they might not be ready for it or whatever so I don't push my beliefs on others. it's just a path I follow and am willing to share with others who are interested.)

a reply to: graceunderpressure
yes you are correct, and i overreacted in my above post when i agreed with that. i was just trying to distance myself from her or something and i did have second thoughts but i typed it anyway. thank you for mentioning that. i correct myself. her behavior is obviously and blatantly horrible and i hope she has a chance to correct herself as i have here. it's not that there's no hope for people like her. but in my opinion they are not in a healthy state, spiritually or morally. perhaps it's people like this who need the most help, since usually it is very difficult to bring them out of their programming and get them to change their way of thinking. i may not appreciate the attitude of Some atheists but I have to be honest and say that most of them i have met are in a much better place morally and perhaps spiritually than this woman here.

a question popped into my mind, is this woman trolling by chance? nah...We know people like this exist and plenty of them.

Just to be clear I am FAR from perfect. I don't expect that to change too much, but I'll be happy if i can make some progress during my time here on earth.

a reply to: Skada

Thank you Excellent post! I wish I could add more but I think I've said enough already...and I'm confident that nobody would disagree on that point hehe but I did want to acknowledge that I both saw and appreciated your post. take care

originally posted by: Advantage
HAHA!! When I read that I thought " Oh.. wow. Schuyler works as an advice columnist under a pseudonym... "

HEHE!!

First world problem. Many people here would rather say, "Oh, poor baby! You are so right!" than actually deal with the issues. That's being a co-dependent and perpetuating the issue--not helping it. The very fact that people come HERE for advice is anathema in the first place and ought to tell you something. In any case, I am happy to agree with everyone here that the sister is a jerk. Now if I can find a Carolyn Hax column to laugh at....

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Advantage
HAHA!! When I read that I thought " Oh.. wow. Schuyler works as an advice columnist under a pseudonym... "

HEHE!!

First world problem. Many people here would rather say, "Oh, poor baby! You are so right!" than actually deal with the issues. That's being a co-dependent and perpetuating the issue--not helping it. The very fact that people come HERE for advice is anathema in the first place and ought to tell you something. In any case, I am happy to agree with everyone here that the sister is a jerk. Now if I can find a Carolyn Hax column to laugh at....

HEHE!!
Let me tell you, I agree with a lot you have to say. So much so that I dont post sometimes because youve already said it. There is a great under appreciation for bluntness... for which you have an abundance. LOL!

a reply to: 3n19m470
Well said, 3N! I confess that I mentally jumped on the same bandwagon at first and had to pull myself back from passing judgment on Sad Sister as a "horrible person" rather than separating the horrible behavior from the soul who committed it. It's so easy for us to judge other humans, and by the way this letter went viral, I believe most people have already dropped the gavel on SS as a person. The fact that you get this point demonstrates how much progress you're indeed making on this whirling little planet.

a reply to: snarky412

Wowsers! "Sad sister" sounds like a selfish B! She's going out of the way to find all sorts of reasons her sister shouldn't be included. If I was her sister, I'd take it personally too. "Sad sister" should step back and place herself in her sisters shoes. How would she feel if she was purposefully excluded from family gatherings? Bet she would feel worse then she does currently. I'm glad she got the response she did!

I can definitely empathize with the left out sister.

originally posted by: 3n19m470
It makes me disappointed to be associated with people like this just because of the word "Christian" and I follow try to follow the teachings of Jesus. Maybe there should be another word besides Christian, because I don't really want to be associated with people like this. I mean, Jesus never said the word "Christian", right?

Those people are church goers mentioned in the letters of Revelation. They are the lukewarm ones who call out His name without ever really knowing Him. If they did, they wouldn't need to write this letter to Amy for advice. It's one thing to have your own groups of friends, and it's another to exclude family so badly that you are hurting a sister this much.

I have to wonder if there is more to this story because I have a hard time seeing family like this, but I have a good family that wouldn't do this. We're all going out to my parents' place to help put in new windows this weekend, and we got games for all the kids (from smallest to biggest - us).

If Sad Sister can't understand WHY her "undesirable" sister can't make it to church every time the doors are open, I'd love to spell it out for her. I spent ten years as a single working mom with one small child. During that time, I never made it to church on a regular basis. Why?

Because I was busy (1)working my ass off to support us, and (2)working my ass off to raise my child properly and see to his needs. Once those two things were done, any extra time left over generally went to resting back up so I could do it all again the next day.

Maybe Sad Sister has never had to be the Mom, the Dad and the one who brings home the bacon, too. It's tough and exhausting. I have far more respect for a woman who is doing it all on her own and doing it all the best she can, than a woman who only has to be wife and mother - and obviously is well- supported financially, and has the money and time for shopping trips, eating out and staying in hotels.

If anything, this well-heeled, inconsiderate sister ought to be thanking her lucky stars every day that she is so fortunate to be able to relax and enjoy her life, and maybe ought to think about HELPING her sister out rather than treating her like she is inferior.

It sounded like a phony letter. Some people get their kicks trying to put others in a bad light and church goers seem to be the favorite target of such trolls. The fact is that no one group has the monopoly on bad behavior or intolerance and judgmentalism. Human nature is what it is and it its universal, good and bad, no matter where your politics and personal views lie.

Just more validation why I personally dislike the whole church-going, hypocritical, judgmental, empty, fake, smug aspect of much suburban Western culture.

Give me real people with less money and more soul any day.

It reminds me of the "powder room" in my palatial child-hood home after the ladies over for tea used it... a heavy, expensive perfume with an undertone of poop. A perfect metaphor.

Self-righteous people never cease to amaze me. So caught up in themselves they cannot see their own faults. I've cut those people entirely out of my life, the self-righteous, judging, all-knowing, holier-than-thou pr*cks.

Some pastors are a bad influence on their congregations. They don't preach a message of love, they preach a message of "you are so special and amazing because you come here every Sunday and put money in the collection plate and they aren't" etc. Some pastors just don't get it. SS is learning the wrong thing in church. If your church doesn't make you a better person, there is no point in attending and you need to find a new church where you can grow spiritually. Hopefully the response that SS got from Amy will weigh on her conscience and she will find a way to be kind to her sister.

That having been said, I personally know of a few liberal atheists who are just as mean to their siblings, but it is much more difficult to shame someone who doesn't live by a specific code of ethics.

Sal

a reply to: snarky412

I agree with Amy too. As I read the article I was thinking...they could have included her...each could have pooled their money together and treated her to a mini-vacation...they could have shown her love and interest...but they didn't.

If Jesus was walking around today...I think he would hang out with the sister they excluded from their lives.

They could have just loved her and accepted her has she is...and look for the beauty in her soul...but they didn't...and I believe they didn't because they don't know what beauty of the soul is...and they really don't know how to love.

a reply to: snarky412

My question would be: Why do you care enough about these opinions of others that you create a thread? Keep your side of the street tidy and everything else is not your business.

Oh, this is priceless.... Good on Amy!

originally posted by: caladonea
a reply to: snarky412

I agree with Amy too. As I read the article I was thinking...they could have included her...each could have pooled their money together and treated her to a mini-vacation...they could have shown her love and interest...but they didn't.

If Jesus was walking around today...I think he would hang out with the sister they excluded from their lives.

They could have just loved her and accepted her has she is...and look for the beauty in her soul...but they didn't...and I believe they didn't because they don't know what beauty of the soul is...and they really don't know how to love.

Right?! I was thinking the same thing as I was reading it. It never occurred to any of them to chip in so that they could include their sister?

Worst. Sisters. Ever.

And this insane sociopath's husband was going to call the police because his sister-in-law was crying at his home? Good grief. Personally, I wouldn't be too upset if on their next shopping trip they were all swallowed up by a malfunctioning escalator.

Bitches be bitches.