If you were your pet...

If you were your pet, how would you want to be treated by you as the pets owner?

If you were your child, how would you want to be treated by you as your parent?

If I were my pet, I'd want to royally kick my butt all the way to tomorrow.

Dried kibbles every day...
Cruel and unusual punishment !

Where's my damn steak ?!

I can tell you what my cat would say.

She would tell you that first and foremost that she wants her servants to stop sleeping on the her throne. (the bed) The servants need to drive the other animals out of the house so they have more time to devote to her. The other pets are useless to her anyways.
The servants need to get better at understanding her demands. The poor thing gets so frustrated when we (the servants if you didn't already know) confuse her demands to have her food dish refilled because she can see the bottom of the bowl and her demands to be carried around the house.
The servants need to understand her dinning requirements better. A bowl on the ground is inadequate. The water should come from a marble or porcelain fountain. Dinner should be served on a gold plate and the meal should consist of fresh caught salmon or pheasant. Smoked ham as a frequent treat.
The servants should always be available to admire and pet her on demand, but should know when she needs time by her self to on her throne. While she understand that we her servants want to sleep close to her, and she does begrudgingly tolerate, we need to learn to be able to sleep on the floor, after all the servants have a far lower status the her Royal majesty.

We try to be good servants, really we do, but sometimes we fall short, especially in understanding some of her methods of communication. Thankfully she puts up with our lower intelligence and ignorance and rewards us with moments of patience and love.

You are your pet. I wonder if the lords of the bible are animals?

Depends on my purpose as a pet. As a child, exactly as I treat children.

I dream of having the life my pets or kids have....

For the pets, just lay around all day and sleep and eat, with exercise if I want it?

For the kids, room, board, video games, horses to ride, cable TV, pool table, etc., and for $300 a month?

Either/or...sounds like a charmed existence....