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Valentine's Day Blues [Feb2014]

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posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 01:08 PM
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Cupid's arrows struck her heart,
He was flash, and he was smart.

She never knew just what he'd do,
But stuck to him like flies to glue.

He hung with mobsters, played their game,
But never killed, so felt no blame.

Well, Valentines Blues done him away,
Now he don't walk, and he don't play.

Thompson's bullets struck his heart,
Him and six others, they were shot apart.

She never knew just how she'd feel,
Without her man behind the wheel.

She felt such blame,
Wished she had came,
Wished Valentines Blues had blown her away.

Now she don't walk, and she don't play.
Men in white coats feed her three times a day.

She's lost her mind, ain't got much to say,
Well, Valentine's Blues done her away.




posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 03:23 PM
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reply to post by Grifter42
 


Well done, it's a nice poem. It reads easily and with good cadence. The words and concepts perhaps feel a little bit simple, which is fine, but if you're going to use very simple language I like it to have a ton of driving emotion or even apathy behind it, which I didn't really get here. The poem really feels like an extended limerick, and when taken in that context, I think it's just splendid!



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