Lost in Phantasmagoria: (Feb 2014)

I like that word, 'Phantasmagoria'. It means 'Mental representation' or better yet, an improved more svelte imaginary version of reality.

Delusional, as in looking at a festering pit of pure crapulance while envisioning the 'Garden of Eden'. Much in the same way Wall-street looks at our economy and screams 'Buy Buy Buy' or the way people are refinancing $300,000 mortgages on homes worth less than $100k.

Pronounced Fan-taz-ma-goria it just rolls off the tongue like Cucamonga, it's just a fun word to say, and another big plus is that very few people know what it means?

“Mister President, Mister President... Any comments on the latest allegations by the New York Times?”
“I'd just like to say my administration takes this whole 'Phantasmagoria' issue quite seriously... Even now, I've asked to convene a Senate sub committee to determine if special funding is required to combat the growing 'Phantasmagoria' menace!”

or

“I did not now, nor have I ever had sex with 'Phantasmagoria'... We're simply friends and coworkers.”

Fan-taz-ma-goria, a little used, mostly unknown word, that also works well as an excuse!

“Hey boss...I'm not coming in for the rest of the week... yeah the Doc says I got 'Phantasmagoria'... I'm pretty sure it's covered by workman’s comp too!”

“Honey, I'm sorry I missed our date... But just as I was getting ready to leave... 'Phantasmagoria' showed up ...and well...you know how she is...”

'Phantasmagoria'

“Today the Surgeons Generals Office warned that use of 'Phantasmagoria' can cause undue euphoria and excessive happiness!”

“Hey Jake, what's up with the big smile? Got a touch of 'Phantasmagoria'?”
“No, no, the doctor gave me this cream and it cleared right up!”

Yup 'Phantasmagoria' is a real bitch. I get a touch of it myself, usually in the moments right before I open the envelope that holds my paycheck. Or when I walk in Sporting goods store and imagine all that fancy expensive new equipment is going to make me better stronger faster and sexier than I really am.

“Try the new and improved 'Phantasmagoria' today! Studies show it makes you 73% more attractive to your sister!”

So the next time you get busted admiring a particularly intriguing cleavage... just look her right in the eyes, smile and say,
“Sorry, I suffer from acute 'Phantasmagoria'... So ah... how'd you like to come back to my place and nurse me all better?”

'Phantasmagoria' guaranteed to improve your outlook on life!

Very well written,as always. You do know how to bring out the humor in everything. Love your choice of word as well...one of my mystical favorites...right up there with serendipity.

reply to post by AccessDenied


I really did get Lost in Phantasmagoria.

This morning I was reading the new Treadwell novel and found the word 'Phantasmagoria'

Of course he put it there, because there is this unwritten rule you have to use a word like 'Phantasmagoria' in your novels to make all your readers run for their thesauruses.

So after blinking dumbly for a few, and thinking to myself, nobody uses that word!
I pulled out a blank word doc and went to town professing the virtues of Phantasmagoria! All humor intended---

reply to post by HardCorps


Now I've developed a funny itch. Is that a first symptom? Maybe I've got it. Is there a Phantasmagoria vaccine available?

Maybe a Homeopathic remedy. God I'd settle for a Placebo if I thought it would cure the laughter spasms…

reply to post by intrptr


Sorry there is no cure, often fatal, and is highly contagious.
On the up side if you do suffer from Phantasmagoria your qualified to run for congress.