Proving that it is better to be dumb...

This whole op is going to take a whole life of situations that occur in a life long relationship and shrink them down to a 6 month - a year relationship and show you that you can use these simple guidelines to see if you are who you are supposed to be with.

Going to start off with a kick int he teeth.

If your sitting at home watching the football game and your g/f comes home after you been together for 2 months or so however long it took you both to feel comfortable with each other and wanted to believe you loved eachother strong enough to verbally announce it.

She walks in with all her hair shaved off like Britney spears! Now do you still love her?

See the thing is all through a life long relationship there are going to be things from both parties that will make one question the validity of ones love for another.

She might like your hair a certain way she might want you to wear a certain wardrobe.

And let's be honest shes just making you into the guy she hodge podges from past guys or guys she couldn't get.

Well at some point you are going to have to be yourself. And that has to come early. Because if she can't love you for you or you can't love her for her.

Then ultimately your breaking up right now.

So what you want to do is work yourself in slowly. For example your going out on a date I would eat garlic bread. because lets be honest one day your going to brush your teeth and clean up and shes going to want olive garden.

If you can't get past the inevitable. Your wasting your time.

If she likes you with a beard let her get comfortable with it then shave it off. And keep it off for awhile.

That way you know whether or not shes dating the beard or you.

If she's lusting she can't get past red flags. Love burns those flags down.

In the face of real love a bald head, a shaved face, and some bad breath won't stop nothing.

And fellas I'm here to tell you women do this all the time.

No make up on and she looks terrible she's doing it to see if you still want her. She knows she looks bad and when you tell her to go put makeup on and what not. Shes looking into you!

So how long after that makeup situation happened to was one of you fighting or cheating?

EXACTLY!

Because no one tries to end the relationship from the beginning.

That guy likes that chick so much. Well if she shaved her hair off how long until he starts treating her like a pos?

See it lets you know!

Because all through life of being with someone things will arise that will make you question your love for them.

So lets just lay it out on the line from the beginning. Get the failures out of the way so we can have more time to spend with the right one rather then wasting that time with the wrong one.

See my point here?

Eventually your going to grow your beard out and shes gonna stop trying to impress you!

Either you love my beard or you love me!

Plain and simple!

I had a g/f who loves silliness and to laugh and play.

And it made me love her more because I knew she wasn't hiding anything. She loved me because I never tried to change her.

It failed because the agenda from above got in the way but ultimately when she comes back it will be so much sweeter.

You save those things that she or he likes as surprises to spruce up the relationship and re kindle the fire.

She likes you shaved save that for when interest points are low. The whole relationship is a fire. It will die down and at key points is when you want to bring it back up!

But first you need to know each other! Red flags have to be thrown out early. otherwise how will it last?

So imagine you've put up with her not cleaning the house and making microwave dinners.

All of a sudden she starts cleaning and cooking home cooked meals.

BOOM!

P.S. women want real men not puppets.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX


A true relationship with true love will have zero to do with looks or clothes or makeup or hair, or money or expensive gift.

If it is real, it will still be there if you go broke, go bld, lose a leg or get your face whacked in a car accident, it is much deeper than surface and I never see it now days.

Majority seems to be very shallow and care for nothing but what can be seen or bought.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX


My first marriage I married the person he told me he was, not the man he actually was. I listened to the words, instead of the actions. So yeah, I did try and get him to be the person he told me he was, of course I learned that never works.

I didn't make that mistake again.

This time around I knew exactly what I was getting into. I didn't want a man I had to change, I wanted a man who was exactly what I wanted from the get go. That is what I got and I wouldn't change him for the world. But i think young women don't get that. They have to learn from experience. Their heads are filled with movies tv and stories about guys changing when they meet the right woman. They want to be the one special enough to change the guy.

Real life however, doesn't work like that.

Girls need to know exactly what they want, and wait for the guy whose actions fit what they want.

And honestly for those that don't smoke and have dated smokers you know what there mouth tastes like. So honestly is eating garlic bread and ranch dressing that big of a crime before you go out?

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX


I think what you're saying has merit, in particular I agree with this:

P.S. women want real men not puppets.

But I guess I'd ask whether or not you're allowing for the fact that love grows stronger, or at least can grow stronger over time. I think sometimes we put too much emphasis on love as a fait accompli rather than a growing living thing.

So I think naturally there are things that might be a deal breaker early on, but won't even cause a flinch later in the relationship.

reply to post by TheConspiracyPages


Well you can appreciate that one has to know the boundaries and consequences of red flags that they will know when and hwere and how to use them without destroying a connection.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX


The way I see things like this is that there is a time and place in relationships for everything.

While I get what you're saying about showing women certain things and then you know she's in it for the real deal, at the same time relationships need time for certain aspects to come to light.

I am a lesbian so maybe I don't know how straight guys deal with certain things but for instance, I would not fart in front of a girl after dating her only a few weeks(or months depending on what you have done). However, if I've been with someone for a few years and we're living together, we probably fart at least occasionally. It's just one of those things.

I also waited a bit to inform girlfriends that I don't do celibate relationships so at any point if our relationship has no sex I will break things off. For some reason some women do not react well to that bit of information. To me it seems like a given. If you aren't having sex then it's just a monogamous friendship, right? But no, I had a girlfriend in past who was offended at me being honest about that. Weird.

Anyway.

Like I said, there's a time and place.

If you come off and do all sorts of things as a test then you could turn them off even if they were potentially well suited mates.

That's my two cents.

reply to post by OrphanApology


But like I said and I want to make it clear you did it. And women do it from day one. Yeah that first date might be real smooth but ultimately she'll do it when it comes time to pick a movie. If she's not willing to break down the selections for the potentially best movie and is all about a predetermined one.

Then you know your going to have to run the show on something aswell to show her that the relationship is going to have to be compromising 2 way street.

Because the only way it's getting anywhere is through communication and respecting opinions.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX


I don't know if you do that you could turn off some personality types.

For me I will always wait a few dates because sometimes assertive women can be shy and their way of offsetting that is by unintentionally controlling date aspects. Arguing with them before you know them very well just means you could turn them off and yet they wound up being really good people.

My current girlfriend is super assertive and the type I normally would not have gone for. But like the third date in, she wound up making me a huge dinner and had cooked one of my favorite foods that she remembered from me mentioning it to on the first date(she controlled all the aspects of).

I'm glad I just went with the flow because she's wound up being the nicest girlfriend I've ever had. Even though she has a brash personality, underneath it all she is a really nice person and cares about my likes and dislikes. Goes out of her way to do things for me.

That's just my experience. To each their own I guess.

At the end of the day it's whatever works best for you.

reply to post by OrphanApology


I've been there yeah go with the flow but you also got to show them aswell here what I mean and your prolly did it without knowing it.

If she controlled that movie on the first date and it might not have been that bad just that you would have liked to have potentially seen something else.

Lets be honest when you ask her or him to pick the music in the car the movie to watch that night we are getting to know them how they think judging them. Even if we aren't exactly judging them.

When she did the movie without discussion and controlled. You somewhere at some point controlled something or in another way without being an a*hole made your point!

Where it really counts is if shes bright enough to see what your doing when your doing and knowing why!

That's where relationships are made and broken. And you must do the same for him/her.

When it comes to relationships.

Love/like me for me.

Otherwise, there's the door, life's to short for stupid games.

Pushing someone away well the thing about that is generally when someone is trying hard to push you away it's because they can't admit or accept it themselves that they love you.

Think han solo and Leia's relationship in the beginning.

Shaved head..hmm

Where some see a issue, I see fun wig roleplay time. heh.

Now, if she did something specifically to turn me off, that is very different than just being herself, wearing baggy pants and a old shirt with hair up in a tie and no makeup on casual day is perfectly acceptable, and would be a bit weird if she was "gussying up" to simply eat a pizza and watch some television with ya.

I think you have Lust and Love around the wrong way in regards to Red Flags.

Lust will ignore the Red Flags, love will make you notice the Red Flags.

Red Flags are there for a reason... Ignoring them is doing more damage to your relationship than you think.

If you see a Red Flag early on, guarantee it will be probably one of the things that will kill the relationship in the end.
Leaving you puzzled and knowing "I should have seen it earlier... I did see it earlier".

reply to post by Sovaka


red flags are inevitable if she likes beards shave early! Get her used to you being shaved so she isn't wanting to turn that little scenario into something big later.

Many people don't realize something as little as changing styles in the middle of a relationship turns into a big fuss down the road that has nothing to do with it just because she doesn't want to make herself look shallow.

And men are the same way!

In todays world women are more interested in damn money and material # .. they use love as bait to lure men in then take them for everything they can get before moving on to the next guy . Out of 13 ex wives had 8 pull that stunt and move on to guys with more money.

reply to post by Expat888


It's not just women! You gotta remember homosexual men are more geared to think like women.

So when you sit back and think about it a homosexual man is worse you get all the things you can b*tch about a woman and you also get all the things women hate about men.

So homosexual men are just using other homosexual men for sex and materials and anything else they can get there hands on.

Don't have to have experience to figure this out. Just know men and know women. Then put it all together.

I agree with what your coming at. I've been told my whole life that a relationship is based off of that it's not what's on the outside that matters. I call bullish** on that. If you think that's it your in for a world of hurt. I go by the ratio 60% looks and 40% personality and what ever. If you think that fat girl is attractive for a example than your in the clear because for me I'm not attracted to fat girls no matter how good there personality is.Don't get me wrong, some people are. For me it's look good/decent and have a good personality. If you look good but lack in the personality trait you are in hit it and quit it territory. Just my 2 cents.