Being Kind to Ourselves First - A Powerful Gift

Random acts of kindness are wonderful and most definitely restore faith.



What I find troublesome about acts of kindness are that we do not treat ourselves to those same gifts, but appear to wallow in a world of destructive and chaotic thoughts, brought on by a seemingly uncontrollable mental loop, throughout the day.



There is a saying that, anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

What I’m about to share maybe be a simplistic approach to a happier state of being, but I know that it appears to be working for me.

How does one be kind to oneself? Buy a new car, hmmm new laptop, or maybe indulge in lots of food, or buy a new wardrobe, actually I was thinking of something much different.

How can we extend any love or kindness into the world when we hate ourselves and have toxic thoughts, or rituals constantly streaming throughout the day?

You all know what exactly what I’m talking about, and here are some examples. No laughing either.

“Son-of-#$$ch”

“A-hole”

"God I'm an idiot"

"How stupid can I be?"

Guy’s: when a woman pisses you off “####”

Driving along and someone cuts you off – “That #$#ing #$##hole”

Boss walks by and says something negative – “I hope that he/she insert, insert”

Someone steps out in the street before the light changes – “OK dumbass one more step and your about to make the 6 O’clock news, and tomorrows obituaries”

Women look at each other all the time in judgment and the negative judgmental storms emanate from their internal war chest “Bitch you didn’t just do that, or say that” “she doesn’t know who she’s #$$$ing with”

Waiting in line at the store, bank, or for transportation and you are mentally destroying people that are around you.

I could go on, but I think you all get my point; this is not the foundation for a healthly constructive mindset, but rather one that will slowly destroy itself, and everything in it’s path.

I discovered something simple, something that is an amazing transformation for the better, but it takes a bit of mental awareness and slight of thought.

Start doing acts of kindness for yourself; replace destructive thoughts with constructive ones. Sound easy? Hmmm well if you actually take the time to catch all of your destructive thoughts throughout the day, it most likely will be a challenge.

Start loving yourself again, start giving yourself caring thoughts.

When I get a sad thought, or a thought that I consider destructive, I immediately replace it with a constructive thought, or a positive one. It can even be a saying like, "I am happy" over and over till the destructive thought subsides.

Remember when we were children and we heard things that bothered us? We shut them out, or replaced them with a fantasy world, or guess what? Yes, positive constructive thoughts.

It's funny how we allow our minds to punish us and leaves us in a state of chaos and disarray, yet many times we will do random acts of kindness for others. We need to love ourselves first, and then love, kindness and strength are easy to share with others all the time.

Your mind isn’t that smart, even though you think it is. Replacing your current destructive program with a more positive one doesn’t seem to make a bit of difference to the mind, but the benefits are rewarding on many levels.

From my personal position this is a work in progress, not a silver bullet, but it works very well.

My states of sadness are less and less, anger is almost a faded memory, glimpses of happiness are popping up in many places during my day, I laugh at myself again. The little chronic physical ailments that used to bother me are starting to go away and some have actually disappeared.

The little things that used to bother me just roll off of my back, but the most amazing thing is the ways that people are reacting when I enter a room.

It’s almost magnetic; people seem to be attracted to a person that loves themselves. Why? Because most people want to be around a person that has a positive aura and are unconsciously feeding from that energy, what they don’t realize is that they have the power to make themselves happy.



My random act of kindness is giving you the wisdom that I have discovered, it costs nothing but your time and awareness.

So when you are at your wits end think about this little bit of wisdom, that may very well change your entire life.

Peace, good thoughts and love.

Your friend,

RT

reply to post by Realtruth


Thanks brother, transmuting the negative thought feelings into positive thought feelings is certainly powerful( and I agree its life changing stuff).

reply to post by Realtruth


Nice sentiment and from somewhere who knows, it does work

However, this:

How does one be kind to oneself? Buy a new car, hmmm new laptop, or maybe indulge in lots of food, or buy a new wardrobe, actually I was thinking of something much different.

No, TPTB need a strong economy, consumers must consume

It's a war over the soul and unfortunately TPTB are winning and have been for quite some time, not putting a dampener on the thread, just spotting the battlelines.

Zcustosmorum

No, TPTB need a strong economy, consumers must consume

It's a war over the soul and unfortunately TPTB are winning and have been for quite some time, not putting a dampener on the thread, just spotting the battlelines.

It's actually a great point.

Knowing and awareness are key.

Look at the constant stream of negative and destructive propaganda spewed by the local news.

If you tell someone something long enough pretty soon they start to believe it.

Monkey see and hear, monkey do.

It's a big business these days keeping people in a negative thought loop, and coming up with bling to sooth the distorted minds and lifestyles, but it's only a temporary fix.

People that are in a negative mental loop are more likely to have a victim's mentality, meaning they need and look for help.

People that are in a positive mental loop are more likely to be in a self-empowerment position and a healthy state of mind, thus needing very little from an external source to boost themselves up.

Just think what would happen worldwide if people actually stopped 90% of their chaotic thoughts and consciously replaced them with something positive and constructive.

We do have choices, but yet it much easier to allow the mind numbing propaganda in and just believe it is so.

If we allow TPTB to universally break us down and their tripe in, of course they will come up with things to fix us and charge us for it too.

Empowerment is a universally free right, how we implement it is our choice.

What we choose to think, in our own minds, is totally up to us.

What is your choice?

reply to post by Zcustosmorum



"Consumers need to consume"

People need jobs, food, clothing, homes, health care etc no?

It's way out of balance as far as profit over others well being but people need jobs and providing all the above and much much more is a way of being in service to others.


S & F OP.

I appreciate the sentiment.

SLAYER69
reply to post by Zcustosmorum

 

"Consumers need to consume"

People need jobs, food, clothing, homes, health care etc no?

It's way out of balance as far as profit over others well being but people need jobs and providing all the above and much much more is a way of being in service to others.

What is interesting about your input that it points to the unbalance, in the world. And the synchronicity of this post is funny, because just seconds ago I PM'd someone about this very thing.


The technique I'm using is the polar opposite of what TPTB are try to infuse into our reality.


How do we keep control of the flocks?


Create chaos and confusion, then come up with a temporary solution, or fix until we can create another crap-storm.

Pump negativity 24/7 into the world and give the appearance of the " The Sky is Falling"

Stop for just one minute..........................listen to your thoughts..................Positive, or negative?


Look at if from another view. Let's pretend and take two people place one in an environment for 30 days, with food, water, a place to sleep, then for 24/7 expose them to chaos, destruction, hate, anger, people dying.

Now we take another group for 30 days, same amenities and then for 24/7 expose them to happiness, love, compassion, constructive things all day. Do you think this person would need much external or internal help? or feel like staying in bed all day, because they do not want to be in the world?

A flock that thinks it's free, but yet cowers in a state of lower human emotions is very easily manipulated.

An individual that breaks the chains in his/her own mind, from negative to positive has cleared a dense fog, that lends way to light, which in turn lends way to many new and promising paths.

If we choose the path of misery, despair, and chaotic thoughts it creates a deep rut, one that for many of us seems hard to get out of.

Again let the truth be known we have the power inside us to fill that rut in, and start on that original path of what we are searching for.


Our minds are the key, or the block. And who are we to judge what other people choose?

But what is empowering is, the choice is ours.


Peace,

RT

SLAYER69
reply to post by Zcustosmorum

 

"Consumers need to consume"

People need jobs, food, clothing, homes, health care etc no?

It's way out of balance as far as profit over others well being but people need jobs and providing all the above and much much more is a way of being in service to others.


S & F OP.

I appreciate the sentiment.

My point is the system isn't working and I'm not sure if it was planned this way or not, but people are so far drawn from their natural instincts in this modern world that it isn't healthy or easy to try and live the way the OP describes.

Don't get your knickers in a twist mate, I'm not dumb enough to vote all out anarchy, a global polulation does need a system, just not the current one.

Zcustosmorum

My point is the system isn't working and I'm not sure if it was planned this way or not, but people are so far drawn from their natural instincts in this modern world that it isn't healthy or easy to try and live the way the OP describes.

I was not suggesting how people should live.

What I suggested is how are minds seem to trap us, in negative mind loops, and that many people seem to be unaware that it plays over and over.

And for a solution, I suggested to replace those mental loops with something constructive, and/or positive. Kind of like someone that desires to reprogram, or implement a new loop.

Being kind to ourselves, instead of allowing a chaotic mindset.

You may be right though it may not be easy for people to do, because it does take awareness, mental effort, and discipline, which the modern day monkey mind/ADD era moves from thought to thought, without ever analyzing where those thoughts are taking them.

Awareness actually can be a painful process, because people have to admit self-awareness, personal responsibility, and take charge of their own mental process.

reply to post by Realtruth


I never said you were telling people how to live, if you were I'd say go f*ck yourself. Never force your ideas is an important rule, yet it seems to be forgotten. You are describing certain points that would fall under the category of living though.

You may be right though it may not be easy for people to do, because it does take awareness, mental effort, and discipline, which the modern day monkey mind/ADD era moves from thought to thought, without ever analyzing where those thoughts are taking them.

Awareness actually can be a painful process, because people have to admit self-awareness, personal responsibility, and take charge of their own mental process.

Having awareness is painful of course, even more so to a population (large percentage of) that is almost programmed. Possibly cliche but The Matrix wasn't too far wrong in describing "unplugging from the grid", in fact the way it's described in that movie may even be more easier than doing it in real life.

reply to post by Zcustosmorum


Why are you assuming I'm upset?

I, like you am only just contributing to the conversation.

You're not one of those who project their own feelings or beliefs onto others are you?

SLAYER69
reply to post by Zcustosmorum

 

Why are you assuming I'm upset?

I, like you am only just contributing to the conversation.

You're not one of those who project their own feelings or beliefs onto others are you?

edit on 21-1-2014 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)

Yeah, and I'm saying you're upset

On your last point, I wouldn't waste my valuable energy even trying, I state ideas and opinions, they are what they are, possibly meaningful, possibly bullsh*t, who knows?

Zcustosmorum
reply to post by Realtruth

 

I never said you were telling people how to live, if you were I'd say go f*ck yourself. Never force your ideas is an important rule, yet it seems to be forgotten. You are describing certain points that would fall under the category of living though.

Having awareness is painful of course, even more so to a population (large percentage of) that is almost programmed. Possibly cliche but The Matrix wasn't too far wrong in describing "unplugging from the grid", in fact the way it's described in that movie may even be more easier than doing it in real life.

Being from Scotland I'll let you slide. My father is originally from Glasgow and grew up in a section called "The Gorbals", so I get it.

Your right about the Matrix that movie is one of the most profound films ever produced, and the brilliant parallels to our current existence is very humbling if one can see it.

It's also interesting you say never force ideas, but we are getting them rammed down our collective throats (minds) daily.

I personally got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore, so I turn off the tube, stopped listening to the negative news via radio, tele, net etc.., but it wasn't enough something else was at work day after day.

I couldn't even put my finger on it, but it was sucking me dry of energy. Then one day I read a piece of literature that pointed out I hated myself, and that my mental thoughts, or loops defined my state of being.

I thought BS. I didn't want to admit it. Heck my ego didn't want to admit it, but a simple test of evaluating my thoughts throughout the day were proof enough. I was a frikin toxic mess.

Next step, was to replace bad thoughts with good ones.

At first I didn't want to scare anyone and talk about the negative physical reactions I had. Night sweats for about 2 to 3 days straight, it was almost like my body was addicted to the F'd up mental loop, and I was going through withdrawals. My body had twitches and the like.

I have broke the cycle, and if one does pop back up I address it right away. Kind of like someone offering an alcoholic a drink and them refusing it.

Peace,

RT

reply to post by Realtruth

When I get a sad thought, or a thought that I consider destructive, I immediately replace it with a constructive thought, or a positive one.

i agree that the chronic negativity that appears to be part of everyday life is a difficult pattern to break. i also agree that it has had a profound impact on my own life.

however, mindfulness is not having a negative reaction to negativity (replacing negative thoughts with positive ones). you cannot make yourself be happy any more than you can dictate beauty or quantify love.

observe your thoughts and actions from a dispassionate perspective, and ask yourself where did they come from? if you can authenticate your negative thoughts as your own, you should love yourself through honesty, not forced positivity.

tgidkp

observe your thoughts and actions from a dispassionate perspective, and ask yourself where did they come from? if you can authenticate your negative thoughts as your own, you should love yourself through honesty, not forced positivity.

I agree.

Isn't authenticating negative thoughts, just being aware of them?

I try not to label things to much with terms like honesty, or forcing something, because it can be a double edge sword.

The mind loves to debate duality, and it will do anything it can to maintain it's current MO, even if it is a destructive path.

Changing something doesn't have to be labeled as forcing, but rather loving persuasion, or compassionate persuasion for the current negative state to change to a more constructive one.

There are many paths to a constructive state of mind, and state of being.

The one that I have currently discovered works for me, it may, or may not work for everyone.

Thank you for your insightful input.

It all seems to begin and end in the same particular spot, personal responsibility, meaning that one must mind and weigh its own actions, but as you have wisely put it, most simply do not care, and are just skimming through the surface at breakneck speeds, just slouching along, barely surviving, barely making ends meet, how can someone even consider the possibility of an alternative way of life, when they can barely make it through one paycheck to the other?

The whole system is just so rigged, that we spend all of our energies just being on the defensive, upholding our artificial values over others, and in some extreme cases just giving our lives away for nothing, anxiety and doom permeate through all of our daily activities, our self image becomes a temple to worship, and a bastion against other points of view, against random acts of kindness.

We take affection as an investment, and before just doing something we over analyze or potential wins or losses.
We have decided that being well is only achieved by material and personal gain, and have been sick for so long that we have come to believe that that is the only way to be, and when confronted with truth and freedom, we feel a threat to our disease, and try to get back to our old ways as soon as possible.

Personal responsibility carries a negative value in our youths, people sometimes say live life as fast as possible, you only live once, so leave a pretty corpse behind, but even if those statements where true, why live life recklessly?
Why burn and pillage, why hunt all of the rabbits of the forest just because we can?

I agree Op, and also add, that kindness should not be random, but also a way of life!

cheers!

reply to post by TheOneEyedProphet


That was some powerful input.

I truly hope everyone reads it........twice.

Thank you.

reply to post by TheOneEyedProphet


you have really captured the nature of the disease well. in my own words, i refer to it simply as the 'culture of winning'. on the freeway people are winning. in finance, people are winning. in the line at the grocery store, people are winning. people will sell their personal integrity in order to win even the smallest of things. arent we such awesome winners?!

i remember thinking this way once. conversely, nowdays i find myself preaching the virtues of losing. it can be a strange and dangerous position to willingly put yourself at the bottom of the totem pole. oddly, i think that losing is the only way to truly win.

we cannot fault the impulse toward winning. it is the modern artificial application of the survival instinct that has served us so well for so long. but humanity is now in the position to see it properly as a terrible premise to base a society on. could it be that our continued survival depends entirely upon the willful rejection of the survival instinct?

reply to post by Realtruth


Ok, this is the kind of thread of which people want to be
included. I think greatness resides in those who can easily
reciprocate the dark and light and stay grounded in the light.
I'll be thru this way again later tonight.
SnF

reply to post by tgidkp


will full rejection of our survival instinct, that's one way to put it, but lets also remember that survival also means cooperation and its also only achieved in the best possible manner by collaborating, what do I mean with" the best possible manner"? simple, in the most energy efficient way, where very little goes to act out on inefficient actions, for example a pride of lions is more efficient exerting their caloric gains fighting against forces outside of the family group, and rarely executing violence amongst themselves.

We now act like sub minded savages, in all tiers of society, we sh*t were we eat, and kill everything we cant f*ck for entertainment, I think that its not only the rejection our survival instincts here but the loss of every "positive" feature humans have, stores prefer to throw away produce than give it away, even if they aren't going to sell it.

The tradition I practice calls this the cult of self, where we put our image of ourselves over our essences, social media nowadays has exploded this nasty trait tenfold, never in the history of humanity have we upheld the worst aspects like apathy, egotism, artificiality and lies like we have now, everyone is trying to prove that they are islands, floating around in an empty space, oblivious to the fact that we are riding the same current in the same boat, the maxim of divide and conquer is proven right.

We are slaves to our blindness, and deliberately fight against common sense and understanding of a HUMAN RACE not a race against humans, as you rightly put it in the wining way of life.

But i does not matter, this mindless droning in our societies have repeated themselves periodically, and have always gotten the same results, the total and utter destruction, now the tricky question is, what unseen hand guides our reconstruction from ignorance? why do we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again? I mean its not like we cant look in the past and see that history is a series of societies that once they reach certain peaks of hubris come tumbling down, leaving, when they are fortunate enough, ruins and relics of their glories, to be forgotten, and overlooked.

There are ways of changing this, but I'm afraid that they rely on personal responsibility, and not in some widespread practice for the masses...

They after all are not called masses just because!

Personal responsibility, hides the key and the door to something else than this terrible mess we are in!
there is hope still...

reply to post by Realtruth


Thank You Bro.

very powerful message.

peace