reply to post by nms120113
You are not alone.
Oftentimes with parents they have the sole intention to love unconditionally and do what they see as right. As humans this unconditional love comes
in an extremely flawed format, with parents relating certain tangibles such as cleaning up one's room with other "tangibles", such as our young
desire to date and find others of our age. I believe that deep down they understand the lack of correlations between the two, but are in a position
of trying to understand a generation which it is just not in their capabilities to fully get.. What they most positively DO NOT understand is that
maturity and self-governance is being instilled in us kids at younger and younger ages.
I have several siblings younger than myself [at 22 years of age] and I'm finding that my youngest brother  has already known and come in contact
with things I was picking up at ages 15-16, right around when I was starting to drive and become independent.
I believe it is a result of our societies growing inclination towards technology, information, and pseudo-social interactions [facebook,twitter,etc.]
that we find ourselves reaching that point of independence at younger and younger ages.
The mentality that-- "I'm certainly old enough to be making my own decisions, why [besides financial support] do I even need these parents
anymore." --seems to be overtaking individuals at lower and lower ages. BUT I must stress to you that this is not always correct. Your parents are
trying to the best of their abilities to prepare you for a world that they themselves do not fully understand, and you have to respect them for that.
Much anger, condescension and derision given FROM parents TOWARDS kids is an individual worry or fear that they themselves have, of not having fully
[in their minds] completed their jobs of preparation. I find that the more silly the excuse for anger--and in your case an unclean room and boys not
wanting to date you is about as silly as it gets--the more confused one's parents are.
At the core you must understand that they are certainly trying their best, and although at 20 years old you feel as though you've been ready for the
world for the past 5 years, i can assure you that your parents will NEVER see this as the case, mine certainly never did.
Being self sufficient now, I look back at all the miniscule arguments I've had with my parents where I KNEW i was right as a sign of just how human
my parents [and everyone's parents] truly are... The unconditional love that goes into raising a child must be a very confusing force, and no parents
have seemed to have fully figured it out.
Behind that "Clean up your room!" or "You must be neater!" statement lies an unquantifiable fear that your parents have for your upbringing--and
it stems from love, the desire to make you the most perfect daughter they can to their ability. All i can say is that they are your parents, and we
owe them a HUGE amount of respect whether we like it or not.
There will come a time when you move-out of home and look back at these quirky parental stipulations and see them for the love [and fear] that they