Being Nice Is Always Good ... or is it?

reply to post by leolady


I got the crazy notion one day many years ago that I was going to strive to love people with the supernatural love like Christ.

I had more crazy angry nuts cross my path and push my buttons then carter has liver pills, I mean it was a constant barrage,

Don't ever do this, and never ask for patience.

serenity now, serenity now.

reply to post by stormdancer777


It is only "supernatural" to you because you were overcome by your own angers, intolerances and temptations. Don't blame others for your own short-comings.

Originally posted by stormdancer777
reply to post by benrl

 

to this day he still hates you?

Some people are just like that, you can never get through to them.

Firm and Calm is far more intimidating than irrational and crazy.

I agree but

Sometimes I go from firm and calm to irrational and crazy.

Yep, theirs a whole history there of crazy and abuse. He won't meet my eye to this day, hes a bully who finally met someone in his life that is not afraid of him.

Hes a tyrant to his whole family, and when my wife met me, that all stopped toward her, Sadly her brother and sister still deal with him so we still have to as well.

First time he met me he pulled the "what are your intentions with my daughter" Which is fine, accept he attempted to crush my hand and shove me back, assumed he was being protective of his daughter, Simply told him "Well sir, I would hope to one day marry her" (which was true, I loved my wife from first look) Didn't go over well with him.

Always treated him with kindness and respect, which to him I guess meant I was cowed by him or something, I just never took his grumpiness toward me seriously or as anything to effect how nice I was to him.

It made him look like a fool when he finally got in my face that one time, it was in-front of all his extended family at thanksgiving. He was ranting in my face, and I am calmly telling him lets discuss and reason like men, not argue like teenagers.

I once wrote myself a personal "10 commandments" that I tried to live my life by.

Sadly I lost the exact wording in a hard-drive failure but the first 2 read something similar to this:-

1, Respect yourself and never let anyone take advantage.
2, Go out of your way to be nice and help everyone unless it violates rule 1.

reply to post by FlyersFan


Jesus was always good, but not always nice, lol!

He could be very scathing as He was when He whipped all the money changers in the Temple and verbally laid into the behaviour of the Scribes and Pharisees!

I think it is sometimes necessary to challenge. That is the way that things change.

Some behaviours need to be challenged.

Being respectful is important. I like being challenged if it points out a mistake or if it furthers my conscious and spiritual development. Disrespect is the biggest turn off.

I would even honour my enemies with respect and those with whom I do not agree.

Lol, I don't appear to have any enemies as such right now. Must be doing something right!

reply to post by benrl

He was ranting in my face, and I am calmly telling him lets discuss and reason like men, not argue like teenagers.

Thats really hard when abusive people try to pull you out of your nice place. As if they will feel better that they can drag you down to their level. They set out to prove others aren't nice to justify their own behavior.

Twisted minds.

Back to front top to bottom world where these kinds of people rise to the top and take over, imposing their will upon the rest of the world.

Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by benrl

 

He was ranting in my face, and I am calmly telling him lets discuss and reason like men, not argue like teenagers.

Thats really hard when abusive people try to pull you out of your nice place. As if they will feel better that they can drag you down to their level. They set out to prove others aren't nice to justify their own behavior.

Twisted minds.

Back to front top to bottom world where these kinds of people rise to the top and take over, imposing their will upon the rest of the world.

And thats why how I treat people is internal not external, It comes from me not them.

Even when people are rude or mean, I treat them kindly, but firm.

Theres this misconception that being kind means your letting yourself be pushed around or something, You can be kind and respectful with out ever compromising yourself.

When you know yourself, and are comfortable with it, its really easy to let people be crazy and angry towards you and smile back calmly. Their behavior is not about you its about them.

reply to post by benrl

Even when people are rude or mean, I treat them kindly, but firm.

As long as we live in a nice world. When people are victimized like rape or child abuse, its harder to be nice.

This is a "nice" thread.

When someone brings one about some guy raping and murdering a little girl, you watch how they turn to murderous revenge. In a heartbeat.

reply to post by benrl


I've met plenty of Dad's like that. Their daughter is after all, Daddy's little girl. I've always considered it as part of the test that Dads giver prospective Son-in-Laws.

But if they keep it up, I let them know in no uncertain terms that I won't up with it either similar to you. Then I let the girlfriend know about how I am being treated and how I will no longer put up with it. Those relationships have never lasted and I'm probably better off for it.

But because I can be "nice" many an ex and her family stay in touch through the years.

Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by benrl

 

Even when people are rude or mean, I treat them kindly, but firm.

As long as we live in a nice world. When people are victimized like rape or child abuse, its harder to be nice.

This is a "nice" thread.

When someone brings one about some guy raping and murdering a little girl, you watch how they turn to murderous revenge. In a heartbeat.

I can be nice about it, I wouldn't torture someone who did that, I would look upon it as a rabid dog that needs to be put down for the sake of Society.

Its a calm assessment, I don't want them suffering, I want them out of society forever so no further harm can come to innocents.

Quick bullet behind the ear, or the electric chair/ lethal injection will do, No malice there, simple logic the rapist is a detriment to society and needs to be removed.

No matter what "issues" may have driven the murder or rapist to their crime, abuse etc, they need to be put down humanely for the good of us all.

Whats not nice about that?

Originally posted by TDawgRex
reply to post by benrl

 

I've met plenty of Dad's like that. Their daughter is after all, Daddy's little girl. I've always considered it as part of the test that Dads giver prospective Son-in-Laws.

But if they keep it up, I let them know in no uncertain terms that I won't up with it either similar to you. Then I let the girlfriend know about how I am being treated and how I will no longer put up with it. Those relationships have never lasted and I'm probably better off for it.

But because I can be "nice" many an ex and her family stay in touch through the years.

This father was a dead beat dad, who never paid a day of child support, beat the # out of her and blamed her when her step father abused her and kicked her out(she moved in with him when it first happened, and when her emotions got to much for him he kicked her ass blaming her for it and through her out). Who has more than once beat his wife...

Who my wive has "forgiven" so I have to deal with him with out putting his head through a wall which would be justice, but thats not my place. That would lessen me, so as long as my wife wishes to deal with him, Respectful, nice, BUT FIRM.

I can be nice to someone with out having to take any crap from them.

ETA The point being Ive dealt with people that deserve to be treated poorly, but that would say more about me than them. Their behavior speaks for it self, I don't need to add to it.

reply to post by benrl

No matter what "issues" may have driven the murder or rapist to their crime, abuse etc, they need to be put down humanely for the good of us all.

Whats not nice about that?

Expedient more than "nice". What if the reason they do that is that it was done to them and they know no different? What if they can't help themselves (like an addict) but a little love might ease their pain and begin a healing process?

Lets see, what costs the state more, execution or counseling?

I also get the incorrigible bit. I agree there. My point was more to forgiveness. Whats nicer than that? You watch the court trials when verdicts are read. People scream. I am appalled.

Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by benrl

 

No matter what "issues" may have driven the murder or rapist to their crime, abuse etc, they need to be put down humanely for the good of us all.

Whats not nice about that?

Expedient more than "nice". What if the reason they do that is that it was done to them and they know no different? What if they can't help themselves (like an addict) but a little love might ease their pain and begin a healing process?

Lets see, what costs the state more, execution or counseling?

I also get the incorrigible bit. I agree there. My point was more to forgiveness. Whats nicer than that? You watch the court trials when verdicts are read. People scream. I am appalled.

Its perfectly nice,

nice
nīs/Submit
adjective
1.
pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory.
"we had a nice time"
synonyms: enjoyable, pleasant, agreeable, good, satisfying, gratifying, delightful, marvelous; More
antonyms: unpleasant
(of a person) pleasant in manner; good-natured; kind.
"he's a really nice guy"
synonyms: pleasant, likable, agreeable, personable, congenial, amiable, affable, genial, friendly, charming, delightful, engaging; More
antonyms: nasty
2.
fine or subtle.
"a nice distinction"
synonyms: subtle, fine, delicate, minute, precise, strict, close; More

Originally posted by stormdancer777
Don't ever do this, and never ask for patience.]

Yep. If you ask for patience .. you'll get tested.
The Powers in the Universe listen to these things .. and they react.

Originally posted by LifeIsEnergy
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

Yes, they were murdered, but I don't see your point. Are you saying people should not remain morally consistent in the face of danger?

Nope. No point ... just an observation.

You just gave two examples of people who were nice to the very end. And I pointed out that the nice guys were murdered. If people don't mind being killed for their beliefs .. fine. But not everyone is ready to go to the grave being nice ... ya' know?

Maybe these people being martyrs for good did more good by dying than they could by living and 'hitting back'. I don't know. It's just an observation.

LifeIsEnergy
reply to post by stormdancer777

 

It is only "supernatural" to you because you were overcome by your own angers, intolerances and temptations. Don't blame others for your own short-comings.

I figured it was a test kinda like your post.

reply to post by benrl


I have known people like him, sometimes they mellow with age.

It always makes me wonder, what happens in peoples lives, that they feel they need to use these tactics to survive.

reply to post by FlyersFan

Maybe these people being martyrs for good did more good by dying than they could by living and 'hitting back'.

Well, that would not have worked out well for the message Jesus was trying to send,
nope

I had a good think over this and I believe Yes good is better.

I'm nice until I have to be a prick. Some people push you that far.