Mental Health in Modern Day Britain (A Personal Experience).

I am writing this thread in an attempt to describe to you my own predicament in an attempt to give you, the reader, insight into this plague of modern western societies).

I spent 5 weeks in Paris under section on an acute psychiatric ward through June into July, after running away from Britain and falling promptly on my ass. I tried to run away from the loneliness, my family, my social situation and my fears about RACISM after the council elections when the extreme right wing made many gains. My Jewish side were refugees from Germany and I do not know that side of my family because they were killed by Hitler.

The long term reasons as to why I ended up like this are manifold. Here are some of the circumstances that have shaped my life:

Not being brought up by my real mother (my grandmother brought me up, but died in my arms when I was thirteen at aged 54). My earliest memories are of my mother leaving me when she married my stepfather. This really is the root cause of my emotional troubles.

My stepfather never treated me equally to his son, my younger half brother. He gave him all the help, nurturing and support and just put me down. He made my brother look bigger by constantly knocking me down when I did try to join that family.

I buried my emotional troubles in drugs of all kinds for many years. That has not helped. Self medicating has its uses for survival, but at a price.

I have spent most of my adult life being unemployed. Lack of money and increasing isolation have also played their part. During my life we have had two very severe recessions in Britain and I never was able to quite get on my feet.

Every time I did work I just ended up getting bullied by management and colleagues for being too different. I was not able to fit in because indeed I was different psychologically.

Lack of a long term mother figure and father figure meant that earlier on I had a crisis of sexuality. I was very confused and during my late teens I thought I was gay, but I wasn't. I had to try it to find out whether or not I was. That also brought much discrimination before the recent human rights was applied by the United Nations. Thank goodness at last that gay people do not have to suffer like that any more.

I am half Jewish. The Jewish side of me ended up being strongest. I have no acceptance really with Jews because it is on my real Father's side (who I only met three times earlier on in my life). They say that it has to be the Mother. Also, being Christian makes it impossible to share in that culture as it stands.

What a mess! Here I sit having to take prescription drugs to ease the pain. I am a very bright guy, too. What a waste.

I do not understand this society any more. I cannot stand the way the media manipulates everybody. People are just buried in their Ipads. Women have had their heads messed up so much by media and feminism that most of them seem to have an identity crisis. No companionship possible, but believe me I tried.

I wrote to a Minister to explain to him that most of modern day illness is about nurture not nature. It comes from society and early childhood experiences. Once the scene is set earlier on later life can be full of anguish and misery.

As I get older I am getting worse. I managed to go to age 30 without a breakdown. I am just coming out of my fourth breakdown and this is the first time I had to be hospitalized. At least now I am able to accept my illness and I will take medication and develop my awareness of my condition in an attempt to live with this and cope without having to suffer any further complications.

I never wanted to admit it before you see. It took those 5 weeks in an institution to force upon me the realisation that I do have some rather debilitating problems.

Don't you dare feel sorry for me. I hate that and it has no use. Instead look after your children and take on board what I said about how early childhood can create a whole life of misery if a child is not cared for properly.

Don't worry about me. I am as hard as nails and a real survivor. I still have lots of fun, but I am disabled and cannot function properly in this kind of hard, cruel, survival of the fittest, dog eat dog world. If you can cope with it good luck, but I tell you these problems are REAL. They have profound economic as well as social implications.

I have never been aggressive. I would rather die than cause any harm to another living soul, thank GOD. But some people are not like me and when in an episode of crisis they can lash out as we often see in the news. They may become a terrorist (like many young Muslim men who have been so marginalised in the west and been encouraged by extremist Clerics). They may rape because of mistreatment by a woman in their lives. There are many ways episodes can explode into reality.

PLEASE START CARING ABOUT THESE THINGS. One in every ten human beings in western society will at some point have a mental health crisis. It knows no boundaries of social class, race or gender.

I was in hospital with two other fellow Jews and a guy who could play piano like Chopin. I met a man who could tell the future, too. On the psychiatric wards there is a mixture of races and classes. I also had some very close Ivory Coast friends in there from Africa. They were lovely. Among the other patients I got so much support. The nurses were lovely, too. They treated us very very well and the care they gave DID WORK and have benefits.

Thanks for reading. Please if you do want to comment keep it humane atleast. That is all I ask.

I have had a similar upbringing and experience with drugs(Mostly Amphetamine), hopelessness and unemployment throughout my life. What substance were your poison(PM so they don't remove the thread for mentioning substance abuse)? Takes part of your life away from you that you will never get back. Screws with you mind in ways that you can only wonder at. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, finding it however can be an accomplishment.

Keep your chin up buddy!

Life goes on, and the world spins!

Your post was the first one I was drawn to when I logged on this morning. Sending positive healing thoughts for you. As the old cliche goes, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger". At least you know where your issue began and that's good. Your advice for parents was spot on. Unfortunately, there are some horrible people out there that should never have children.

3 questions: Do you have any sort of spiritual net? What does your avatar represent? What is Revolution9?

reply to post by Revolution9


Very brave of you to write this dude
You are helping everyone combat the stigma people suffering from mental health has well done.
Keep fighting the good fight fella and good luck for the future.
Iam glad to hear from someone on ATS who recognise the good work the people who work in the field do.
I hope others in the same boat read your post and take your positive outlook on it as inspiration.

Originally posted by andy06shake
I have had a similar upbringing and experience with drugs(Mostly Amphetamine), hopelessness and unemployment throughout my life. What substance were your poison(PM so they don't remove the thread for mentioning substance abuse)?

Keep your chin up buddy!

Life goes on, and the world spins!

edit on 30-7-2013 by andy06shake because: (no reason given)

Hiya. So many have. I tried nearly everything, lol!

Well it helps to know we are not alone. It helps me lots. I just wanted here to tell people that it is not the end of the world and that there are many more out there with similar hassles in our beloved West!

Originally posted by queenofswords
Your post was the first one I was drawn to when I logged on this morning. Sending positive healing thoughts for you. As the old cliche goes, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger". At least you know where your issue began and that's good. Your advice for parents was spot on. Unfortunately, there are some horrible people out there that should never have children.

3 questions: Do you have any sort of spiritual net? What does your avatar represent? What is Revolution9?

Thanks for the reply. Revolution9 came from The Beatles Song. A lot of noise at the end of The White Album. The drawing is a sketch by John Lennon he did in the 70s. The 9 is 6 revolved. My way of saying they tried to make a Beast but I had my own personal revolution, lol. I am just a liberal Christian. Don't do the denominations things as I don't trust them, but I read The Bible and pray. That helps more than anything.

Thank YOU! All the good vibes to you!

Originally posted by boymonkey74
reply to post by Revolution9

 

Very brave of you to write this dude

You are helping everyone combat the stigma people suffering from mental health has well done.
Keep fighting the good fight fella and good luck for the future.
Iam glad to hear from someone on ATS who recognise the good work the people who work in the field do.
I hope others in the same boat read your post and take your positive outlook on it as inspiration.

edit on 30-7-2013 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

Bless, mighty kind of you. Lol, I got no secrets any more. You would not believe the crazy time I had before they sectioned me. It was a blast! Never known anything quite like it. I could write a book about that. Got threatened with a rifle, saw Angels over The English Channel. That gives you a brief idea haha!

YES, what does not kill you does make you stronger. I have got to grips with so much in these last few weeks. Reflection and awareness!

Best not to go there again though. We all know where that ENDS UP!

reply to post by Revolution9


Hello Revolution9,
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Sometimes it helps just to...get it all out.
I do agree with you that early childhood experiences have a HUGE effect on who/how we are later in life.
I don't see 'mentally ill" people....I see fully grown 'wounded children'.
Very glad to know that your experience in the hospital was positive, and the people were kind to you.
I truly hope that things get better for you. For me. For all of us.
jacygirl

reply to post by Revolution9


"Well it helps to know we are not alone. It helps me lots."

Never alone mate, this world pigeonholes everybody in someway or another.

Good to meet you and I hope you find the solutions to the problems you face so bravely!

"I just wanted here to tell people that it is not the end of the world and that there are many more out there with similar hassles in our beloved West!"

There sure are rather a few from the lost generation still trying to make there way in the world, for me personally settling down in a stable relationship and the addition of children sorted me out somewhat. Essentially because i knew if i failed I would be wrecking other peoples lifes that I cared about more than my own. And I also knew that I did not want to repeat the mistakes my own parents made, like not being there!

Wish you all the best!

quote]Originally posted by Revolution9

Originally posted by boymonkey74
reply to post by Revolution9

 

Very brave of you to write this dude

You are helping everyone combat the stigma people suffering from mental health has well done.
Keep fighting the good fight fella and good luck for the future.
Iam glad to hear from someone on ATS who recognise the good work the people who work in the field do.
I hope others in the same boat read your post and take your positive outlook on it as inspiration.

edit on 30-7-2013 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

Bless, mighty kind of you. Lol, I got no secrets any more. You would not believe the crazy time I had before they sectioned me. It was a blast! Never known anything quite like it. I could write a book about that. Got threatened with a rifle, saw Angels over The English Channel. That gives you a brief idea haha!

YES, what does not kill you does make you stronger. I have got to grips with so much in these last few weeks. Reflection and awareness!

Best not to go there again though. We all know where that ENDS UP!

In A Losing Game! Now I understand Amy Winehouse BIG TIME!
[

Originally posted by andy06shake
reply to post by Revolution9

 

"Well it helps to know we are not alone. It helps me lots."

Never alone mate, this world pigeonholes everybody in someway or another.

Good to meet you and I hope you find the solutions to the problems you face so bravely!

"I just wanted here to tell people that it is not the end of the world and that there are many more out there with similar hassles in our beloved West!"

There sure are rather a few from the lost generation still trying to make there way in the world, for me personally settling down in a stable relationship and the addition of children sorted me out somewhat. Essentially because i knew if i failed I would be wrecking other peoples lifes that I cared about more than my own. And I also knew that I did not want to repeat the mistakes my own parents made, like not being there!

Wish you all the best!

Thank you! OH WHAT A MESS WE MADE! Hahaha! So true.

I am so glad you doing ok. Yes, we all make mistakes and we have to break the cycle of those mistakes handed down by our parents (or lack of them). I forgive everyone and everything repeatedly. Just like Christ told St. Peter. Seventy times seven.

My parents a bit wary of me right now because I turned round and told them the truth. They did not like it. But it had to be said. I am hopeful of a reunion sometime in the future based on truth and not illusion!

I wish you all the luck. Really I do. GOD Bless you Andy!

Originally posted by jacygirl
reply to post by Revolution9

 

Hello Revolution9,
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Sometimes it helps just to...get it all out.
I do agree with you that early childhood experiences have a HUGE effect on who/how we are later in life.
I don't see 'mentally ill" people....I see fully grown 'wounded children'.
Very glad to know that your experience in the hospital was positive, and the people were kind to you.
I truly hope that things get better for you. For me. For all of us.
jacygirl

Why thank you Ma'am! Blessings to you. I'm one of the lucky ones! So many end up dead through lack of understanding. Like in the thread earlier today where the cops shot that young guy 9 times and tazered him, too. He was just having a crisis. They could have just brought him down and locked him away for a time. With proper care he could have been fine again.

Well sad! I am so lucky because I am really gentle. But I did get beaten up for going on an empty river cruise boat on The Seine and when the owner came I told him I was Mr Rothschild and the boat was mine, lol. He gave me a bit of a beating, he and his friends. I just took it like a lamb. Then I was walking out in the country with slashed up feet after walking a hundred miles and went on a camp site to wash early in the morning. The owner pushed a rifle in my face and I thought I was gonna be shot. Breakdown in language, too, as He could not speak English and my French was very limited. I guess I am so lucky because I lived to tell the tale!!!

I got a wicked sense of humour and when I do lose it it does come out in comical ways! LUCKILY!!!

reply to post by Revolution9


Thats another thing you gotta have a sense of humour about it also (I see you have) laughing and seeing the funny side of life is really good for us mentally.
Mr Rothchild classic dude classic

I believe it is courageous to be so open and honest about personal matters such as mental health, so I would like to firstly say thank you for your post. This world can be a sick place and sometimes can push us to the limits of our emotional capabilities and deep into the dark alleyways of the mind. You sound like an intelligent person and clearly are very compassionate also. Some of the greatest minds to ever live have had experience with mental illness. I would liken it to having a super computer without anything to compute or like having a sporting dog on a chain in the yard everyday of his life. He will eventually develop some mental issues. You just need something to focus on. Everything happens for a reason and brings us one step closer to our true purpose in life. You now have a fresh and rare perspective from which to view the world and this experience can eventually be used to help others who are struggling. People usually say you discover who you really are in your thirties. We need free minded people such as yourself now more than ever. I sincerely wish you all the best in your journey, and that you are able to rise from the ashes like a phoenix into the life that you are so overdue.

reply to post by Revolution9

I wrote to a Minister to explain to him that most of modern day illness is about nurture not nature. It comes from society and early childhood experiences. Once the scene is set earlier on later life can be full of anguish and misery.


I hear you OP. I lost my parents and a sibling by age 11. While I never dwell on these things, it has come back to haunt me in other ways mentally.

S & F for your courage, and I wish you all the best.

Originally posted by Samuelis
I believe it is courageous to be so open and honest about personal matters such as mental health, so I would like to firstly say thank you for your post. This world can be a sick place and sometimes can push us to the limits of our emotional capabilities and deep into the dark alleyways of the mind. You sound like an intelligent person and clearly are very compassionate also. Some of the greatest minds to ever live have had experience with mental illness. I would liken it to having a super computer without anything to compute or like having a sporting dog on a chain in the yard everyday of his life. He will eventually develop some mental issues. You just need something to focus on. Everything happens for a reason and brings us one step closer to our true purpose in life. You now have a fresh and rare perspective from which to view the world and this experience can eventually be used to help others who are struggling. People usually say you discover who you really are in your thirties. We need free minded people such as yourself now more than ever. I sincerely wish you all the best in your journey, and that you are able to rise from the ashes like a phoenix into the life that you are so overdue.

Wow! What beautiful WORDS! I don't deserve those! I was a bit naughty. In the finish what got me locked up was that my feet were so poorly and I rode a post bike I "borrowed" up The Avenue des Champs-Élysées to the Israeli Embassy and told the guards I wanted to speak to them. I could no longer walk and I told them I only borrowed the bike and was gonna give it back.

I was very deluded. The Human Mind can quickly become disorientated in isolation and when taking drugs. I really did mess up.

I would love to help others if I could, but not strong enough right now. PLEASE remember people if you ever do have problems there is life after. Even in hospital there is life and companionship. It is nothing like the way it is portrayed. Mostly the nurses and doctors are really kind and caring. But they do lay down the law. You have to show that you can play the game before they let you go.

Thanks my friend for those uplifting words to me and all the readers!

Originally posted by Thecakeisalie
reply to post by Revolution9

I wrote to a Minister to explain to him that most of modern day illness is about nurture not nature. It comes from society and early childhood experiences. Once the scene is set earlier on later life can be full of anguish and misery.

 

I hear you OP. I lost my parents and a sibling by age 11. While I never dwell on these things, it has come back to haunt me in other ways mentally.

S & F for your courage, and I wish you all the best.

Sorry to hear you had early big problems. Yes, it catches you later on. I don't know why it does that. Through my twenties there were holes, but the SHTF after thirty.

I pray for strength for you. Yes, don't dwell on it. The past cannot be changed. But the future can. I got used to having a haunted mind. That's the best way. So many great people have had to do so. Jim Morrison, John Lennon, the list is endless. Mental illness can never stop one living life. Life will still be lived!

Thank you for this. I would like to echo the sentiments already expressed for your thought provoking, and brave post which deserves much more than stars and flags. I will be keeping you in my thoughts, and I will try to carry forward as much as I can from your life in my own, in the hope that by doing so some good things can come out of what you have been through.

Best wishes

This a good video to explain why permanently referring to ones history and the effect these events has on one is a false reflection on how you are now. Just in the way the tail does not wag the dog or the wake of a ship does not steer the ship.

reply to post by Revolution9


The only sad thing is that I really cannot handle it without the medication now. After the hospital I tried, but it was really too horrible and so full of anguish. Not doing that again.

MEDICATION is important if you are ill this way. That is not a conspiracy. I feel much much better now I am taking it again. I am gonna play ball with The Services. I need the support.

Do get help if you feel yourself sliding. They are nice people and they do care. They can help. I am a witness and proof of that.

So I am gonna have to make do with a life from now on that is going to require some level of medication. Even if it does mean I die a little earlier at least the life I have will not be so anxious and miserable. It has become unbearable without it.