Daring to be Different in the Black Community

As a black woman, I have faced ostracism from the black community for several reasons, most recently because I supported George Zimmerman in Martin/ Zimmerman Case. I began this thread to discuss my issues on this topic and to allow others to ask questions, or share their stories in this struggle with me...

I guess it began childhood. I was born in the South (Memphis) but grew up in the state of Kansas, where the population was 60% white, 20% Native American, and 10% Black, Hispanic and Asian. All my friends were white and Native American, and as children, we embraced the beauty of our different races; it was only when my family moved back to Memphis where racism reared its ugly head. I remember going to the playground and seeing white girls jump roping (for example), and I would stand in line to jump in, and was warmly welcomed. The black girls would pull me to the side afterwards and say,

"Ummm..why were you playing with them?" I would be confused and say, "Because we all wanted to jump rope."

"But they are WHITE."

"Ummm yes. I know that. What's the issue?"

They never had an answer, just stared at me in shock, because I was 'different'.

Later in life, I decided to continue my education. This was shone by lots of members of my family, as I was told I was being "white", and that my pursuit to practice Law afterwards was me being "too good" to work at a 'regular job',

A few years ago, I quit wearing my hair in perm and I now wear it naturally in a beautiful Afro. Of course this was way outside the 'box' for lots of black women in the south, because I was no longer conforming like the 'crowd', wearing perms and weaves.

As a English and Political Science major, I learned a lot about history, politics, and social issues, and have quit voting Democratic (a different thread exists on this). This was another 'blow' to the black community as they saw it, as I was being 'white' for not praising President Obama.

Lastly, I came out of the non-religious 'closet'. Fortunately as a child, I was never fully indoctrinated, but pretended to believe like everyone else...

And now, as a result of the Zimmerman trial, my peers and family have always been aware that I supported George Zimmerman (based on the facts of the case) and today came the backlash and attacks on me. Not physically, but very cruel verbal remarks have been texted to me all day. Mainly from my father...

He and I have always been very close. We both left the religious closet together, but lately I had been seeing that the pressure to rejoin the herd has gotten to him. He now verbally attacks me and says, "You need to come back to the 'black side' and "you're crazy" because I hold firm to independent ways and beliefs. Today after he attacked me for being happy about the Zimmerman verdict, I tried to change the subject by saying, "we should go see a movie, Dad. Pacific Rim is out and it looks good."

He responded, "I don't hang out with Uncle Toms."



The majority of ANY racism I have ever experienced as a black woman have come form other black people. Why are we like this?

We have conceded to life-long victim-hood, and excuse making, shifting the blame on others, especially other races and I hate it.

The number one excuse for our violent behavior, low education, or high poverty rate from the Black Community is "SLAVERY"

It is absolutely absurd.

1. How do we think black slaves came to America? Do we think that Europeans just waltzed onto the African shoreline and grabbed slaves? No. African Kings and Queens SOLD their subjects into slavery.
2. Why do we think the entire Civil Rights movement was about our skin color? It was MOSTLY about white private business owners mad at the GOVERNMENT, not blacks, for forcing them to turn their private businesses into public ones.

and most importantly,

If slavery is the answer to all of the black community's problems, then why can't we trace these behaviors and issues all the way to the Reconstruction Era? Seems like those problems would be detected to the generations much closer to slavery, rather than just popping up in this era.

Excuses...

Anyway, didn't mean to be long-winded. Just wanted to see some your comments and see if anyone else can relate.

Dear sister,

The day that I was told that because of the fact that I used proper English I was "talking white", I realized that my path was different from those that were around me.

You are not alone. And you are not a sell out, or anything else that people will try to say to you because you do not engage in the trivial group think that plagues and burdens the black community.

Be yourself. As you can see, being yourself in the black community gets you farther than trying to be like everyone else.

Thanks!

You can relate, so you know what it feels like.

I am definitely not going to run back to the herd; in fact, whenever I suspect that I am engaging in herd-like activity, I have to stop and check myself.

I found this post to be a good read. I can't say too much on this being as I am an outsider (white skin) but it glaringly obvious that the assault on black people is coming primarily from both the white AND black races. This being said, I believe your community wants you to abandon what is informally known as "the white way" because they understand that through all sorts of authoritative means the black community is being repressed. What I think isn't talk about in the black community enough (again, an outsider) is the fact that most whites want peace. Not only that, that the black community isn't the only people in trouble. We AMERICANS (to emphasize, not come off rude) are having our way of life eroded heavily by "the powers that be". We as a people need to come together and fight for our freedoms and not for our races. Once true freedom is won, race shouldn't be a consideration.

reply to post by Antipathy17


Exactly, but until Americans stop looking at each other's skin colors and start banding together, TPTB will continue to hold us down under their thumbs.

Originally posted by ButterCookie
Thanks!

You can relate, so you know what it feels like.

I am definitely not going to run back to the herd; in fact, whenever I suspect that I am engaging in herd-like activity, I have to stop and check myself.

Indeed I can relate. It was as if I was reading something that I wrote myself!

your post was refreshing

reply to post by ButterCookie


I applaud you for not taking the easy way out and be a racist. Thank you. Not to offend you, even though you highlight it yourself, I've found many African-Americans to be racist.

As a white man, it's people like you that put my faith back into the African-American community. I hope there's more of you and less of "them".

Thanks for the thread and keep on posting.

Originally posted by Antipathy17
I found this post to be a good read. I can't say too much on this being as I am an outsider (white skin) but it glaringly obvious that the assault on black people is coming primarily from both the white AND black races. This being said, I believe your community wants you to abandon what is informally known as "the white way" because they understand that through all sorts of authoritative means the black community is being repressed. What I think isn't talk about in the black community enough (again, an outsider) is the fact that most whites want peace. Not only that, that the black community isn't the only people in trouble. We AMERICANS (to emphasize, not come off rude) are having our way of life eroded heavily by "the powers that be". We as a people need to come together and fight for our freedoms and not for our races. Once true freedom is won, race shouldn't be a consideration.

Your post definitely means a lot, so thanks!

Yes, Americans in general are having a rough time in the wake of the new USSA.

This is a topic that I am sure many can relate to, especially on ATS, because we are independent thinkers to even be attracted to such a site.

Lots of us are probably being ostracized everyday because of that, and that is why ATS has become our new 'family'.

I'm white. Beige actually.LOL In any case, you sound like a lovely and wise woman and that counts for a lot! I think it is very sad that your friends and family should treat you the way you do. Don't change. Be your wonderful self who embraces who she is and what choices she makes. HUGS!

I know racism exists everywhere but I think some areas are way worse than others.

Originally posted by Auricom
reply to post by ButterCookie

 

I applaud you for not taking the easy way out and be a racist. Thank you.

Not to offend you, even though you highlight it yourself, I've found many African-Americans to be racist.

As a white man, it's people like you that put my faith back into the African-American community. I hope there's more of you and less of "them".

Thanks for the thread and keep on posting.

Always.

I saw the anger of my family and peers from the racism that was stirred up by the case (Race-Baiting media) and it made me look at this subject.

Why are blacks so easily emotionally stirred, as if we WANT things to be negative racial attacks on us?

reply to post by supremecommander

The day that I was told that because of the fact that I used proper English I was "talking white"

I've never understood this. History is full of very eloquent black people that have done far more for black people than the ones crying Uncle Tom.

It seems so very backwards to think that speaking well is only for whites. To me it seems like telling a woman that because she's good at math she's a sell out to the patriarchy. Utter nonsense.

reply to post by ButterCookie


I am not Black, so I can never truly "walk in your shoes".
I hope you never experience what Trayvon went through.
Zimmerman, acted as Judge , Jury, and Executor on Trayvon, not because he hated Skittles, but because Trayvon was Black.
If that is ok with you as a Black Woman, White Woman, Green Women or Orange Women, then may God walk with you.
In my World, I still believe in "Innocent till Proven Guilty", and not "Black means he did something".

Not much to say other than, I can agree and not be a racist! Cool!

reply to post by Tw0Sides

In my World, I still believe in "Innocent till Proven Guilty"

Well clearly you don't.

Here's the thing: lots of black people seriously do not consider their racial remarks to be racist, and I don't know where this insanity came from.

We all saw it during the trial with the witness Rachel Jeantel,

but today I saw it with my father. He said 'Those (white racial slur) are gonna get what's coming to them!"

I said, "Dad, why are you being so racist?" He literally did not see that he had something offensive, and had wondered why I was 'taking up for white people'.

true insanity

reply to post by ButterCookie


I desperately wanted to reply to your thread about your family, but I never quite had the words I needed to express how inspired I was by that thread. You are an amazing person. Why should anybody try to be anything more or less than who they are?

Originally posted by Domo1

There was ZERO evidence any of this occurred because of race. Zimmerman mentored a black youth for crying out loud.

John Wayne Gacy performed as a clown at Children's parties, surely he wouldn't harm a fly.
Your Logic is lacking.

Stay true to yourself. Sad that your family treats you that way but you are building a great foundation for the next generation.

Peace

reply to post by ButterCookie


I understand the feeling of being ostracized by family. It’s not a happy place at all. Especially if you care about them.

Give it time, hopefully they’ll come around and love you for who you are. They’ll see that they have raised a good child.

But if they don’t, which is possible, try to use your love for others to make things better. Anger helps as well…gives it that extra UMPH! when needed.

Good luck in your journey through life.

reply to post by Tw0Sides


Hi Nancy Grace! I heard her little nonsense rant about Gacy too.

The only jury in this country that would have the audacity to convict Zimmerman would have had 1 Al Sharpton and 5 clones.

Gacy was a sexual predator so of course he would try to be close to potential victims. That's a far cry from hating black people and mentoring one (what would be the goal here?). My logic isn't lacking, and yours seems non existent.