I feel like I tend to be locked into my city based on my friends and relatives there, nothing else..

I've lived in the same city my whole life. There's worse places in the world but I just can't stand it there anymore! Like it just drives me a bit batty. But I know I've basically stayed in my city based on my friends and relatives there, nothing else. I was thinking of moving to the coast, which is just an hr flight away, so I could get back in no time flat if I wanted to visit. But it's just making that mental leap of having to build new friendships, that's one thing that seems a bit challenging could be fun too though. Like I'm so torn between on the one hand living my dream which would be to do that, and staying where I am out of comfort and relational bonds. Like the prospect of moving seems like this amazing adventure etc etc. So I often think and dream about it.

Has anyone gone through something like this, do you have any advice? Thanks.

reply to post by spartacus699


My suggestion is.

Go do what you want to do. Don't let anything stop you from doing it.

If it doesn't work out you can always go back home.

But at least you will never have that feeling of regret for the rest of your life.

Don't be scared to try new things. Your only limit is you.

reply to post by spartacus699


I would like to live in the hills and valleys of Wales, where the weather suits my nature, and the terrain suits my mood, rather than the overly sunny, and flat and boring county in which I live, here in Southend-On-Sea, Essex.
However, I too have family, friends, connections here that I would not want to change the nature of unduely.

This is the price we pay for having hearts, and keeping others in them. It is a price I am happy to pay.

Originally posted by TrueBrit
reply to post by spartacus699

 

I would like to live in the hills and valleys of Wales, where the weather suits my nature, and the terrain suits my mood, rather than the overly sunny, and flat and boring county in which I live, here in Southend-On-Sea, Essex.
However, I too have family, friends, connections here that I would not want to change the nature of unduely.

This is the price we pay for having hearts, and keeping others in them. It is a price I am happy to pay.

Ya I hear you. I guess what I could do is just still live my dream and maybe build a little get away place and then just take more frequent and extended holidays there, but always come back home so the people there dont' totally forget about me. that's one option I think that might be a healthy comprimise

Originally posted by spartacus699


Ya I hear you. I guess what I could do is just still live my dream and maybe build a little get away place and then just take more frequent and extended holidays there, but always come back home so the people there dont' totally forget about me. that's one option I think that might be a healthy comprimise

Hey, if you have the means to get a bit of both somehow, then I say go for it. I get one week of the year as holiday, and no where near enough money to make other down time any more exciting than knocking around my home town, visiting pals and generally keeping an eye on the place. If I had means, I wouldnt just be wandering around like a lost ghost so much. I would be up a craggy height, gripping a rockface for dear life and occassionally howling at the moon! Go for it!

Originally posted by spartacus699


Has anyone gone through something like this, do you have any advice? Thanks.

Advice, Do it, now before you get any older and more tied down.

Myself just moved 1000 miles from where my wife and I grew up, leaving family and friends behind, all because we wanted to try something new.

It was all worth it.

reply to post by spartacus699

. Like I'm so torn between on the one hand living my dream which would be to do that,

Do it man

Live the adventure

If you don't try and live your dream for you. then you're living your life for someone else,

And that my friend is wrong.

Cody

I have family members scattered here and there. My oldest brother moved when his kids were still young. Now his kids have kids and they are basically strangers to us. At least my brother is still able to visit us once a year. It is always so hard saying goodbye. One of my sister's boys moved away and he now has two little ones of his own.They too will be like strangers. Travelling to visit is fine if you have your health and the finances to do it.

My brother has expressed more than once wishing he could return home but his whole family is out where he is and his wife has no desire. My nephew wishes he could move closer to home after all these years but now is settled with his kids and can't afford a major move.

We have had friends move far away for a few years or so and they all returned. I guess there is no place like home.

I know when I was fighting through cancer, I was soooo thankful to have friends and family here for me. It would have been aweful to be in a new place with people I barely knew.

Phone calls and e-mails can never come close to actually being with someone.

Do what you have to do. Just wanted to add my experience.

reply to post by spartacus699


I go through this damn near daily! LOL! I used to travel the world but now after getting married, I live in a very small town- after being a big city girl my whole life.

We toss around the idea of moving but as my mother once told me when I confided to her my feelings of wanderlust, 'Places ARE the people.' That really hit home for me. Home is where you make it. The exotic locals, bustling cities, and new adventures are worth nothing if your loved ones aren't there.

My mother had a very happy childhood in Georgia and is sometimes tempted to move back there. However, she acknowledged that everyone was either deceased or moved away and so it would just be an empty shell- all the magic is gone because the people who made it special are gone.

Sow your wild oats and travel a bit but just think about things. People are what make locations.

Years ago, my husband's sister and one of his brothers moved to California so my husband wanted us to move there. I refused. A few years later his sister and brother moved back here to Rhode Island.

Another time, his best friend moved and begged us to move where they were saying how awesome it was blah, blah, blah. Again hubby wanted to move. His friend also returned after a few years.

Sometimes the grass isn't greener on the other side. Sure at first it may be an adventure and exciting and new and wonderful, but I have to ask, what is more important a new place and new friends, or the old ones who know you and love you the best? As for family, they can never be replaced.

reply to post by Night Star


If I had a nickle for every family member who moved away... then moved back.

Myself included.

Family is the tie that binds.

Have fun, travel, explore a new place, etc. Even move away for a bit if you want. However, it is not the source of contentment.

Now, if I could only convince my entire family and circle of friends to move to the Pacific Northwest with me, I'd be in heaven.

My advice: if you fit in and have your needs met, stay. If you don't, leave. Anything otherwise will be at the cost of happiness.

reply to post by spartacus699



You are never too young or old to live your dream.

I did just that nearly 25 years ago... upped and left my country of origin and settled in a new country... and don't regret one single moment!

I still get to see my family from time to time either i go to visit them or they come to visit me.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

We toss around the idea of moving but as my mother once told me when I confided to her my feelings of wanderlust, 'Places ARE the people.'

reply to post by AshleyD


For sure

But that doesn't mean other friends aren't elsewhere, Other people that you connect with. I upped and left to 2 continents, made many good friends and had a blast

I'd hate to be sitting here now thinking What if ? Rather than Damn that was fun.

Cody

OK, my own journey from the Okanagan, the most wonderful paradise on earth, in my opinion. Yes ,there are equally beautiful and diversely beautiful areas, but none more beautiful.

Well I wanted to leave all my life, dreams of the provence, and northern Italy, top on my list. Made it to the coast, and can't stand the rain and had my health fall apart even more. I would still love to explore for months on end, New Zealand and visit Norway, Finland, China, South America, even Quebec in late summer and the fall, northern Quebec before the snow hits, and the Skeena River/Nass Valley northern BC.

But I discovered how much I loved the Okanagan and how much it felt like home.

So we're heading back, not quite in the valley, but very close to the valley, but in great fishing and camping region, golden and nice climate, lots of sunshine, and lots of orchards and organic farms.

So think carefully. Taking trips to areas, and in the rainy off season, ie if the coast, you'll want to visit between October and April, when there is so little sunlight, you think you're going batty, and growing mold. You may change your mind.

If you're needing to escape maybe you might try to come up with a life plan for skills or work or a means to live in the country.

For some of us, cities aren't great places to live. But the most wonderful cities are Kelowna and Vernon, in the okanagan, Vernon starting to gateway into the Shushwap so more snow, but still mild climate and tapping it light on the rain. These two small cities are the best of the world.

So to me climate is important, like semi desert or at least lots of sunshine, and lots of Lakes. They create the balmy oasis in the desert feel, and can't really live without that.

I'm in the same place OP. We are talking of making a major move into Northern Michigan, which sounds wonderful. But currently we are placed within easy distances of relatives and friends. It's comfortable in, it's what I'm use to, within easy driving distance to everything. It's diverse and there is entertainment and tons of things to do. All of the kids friends are here and they have been here now four years since I left the military. I know how tired everyone is of moving.

But eventually I'm going home to the country. Rather sooner than later!

Cirque

reply to post by TrueBrit


you don't need any money to live. We've just been tricked into thinking we do. Like you don't need a fancy house, you could live in a 100 dollar shack that you build out of plywood. You don't need that much food, you could live off 1 meal a day easy and get back into shape that way. And you could get that meal almost anywhere, like churches, homeless shelters, buy a cheap pack of rawman noodles for 25 cents. Pick some fallen apples off the ground. And Old clothes you could find almost anywhere, ie: donation bins. Now all you need is transportation, which is simple, get a cheap mountain bike for 50 bucks. Now you could pretty much start to live life on your terms. You have most everything covered. Ya it's not princely living but it's the basics met at no cost. Like I'm not joking either, many people live this way, anyone could do is if they wanted to or fall on lean times and had to figure out a way, where they didn't have friends or relatives to help them.

Originally posted by AshleyD
reply to post by spartacus699

 

I go through this damn near daily! LOL! I used to travel the world but now after getting married, I live in a very small town- after being a big city girl my whole life.

We toss around the idea of moving but as my mother once told me when I confided to her my feelings of wanderlust, 'Places ARE the people.' That really hit home for me. Home is where you make it. The exotic locals, bustling cities, and new adventures are worth nothing if your loved ones aren't there.

My mother had a very happy childhood in Georgia and is sometimes tempted to move back there. However, she acknowledged that everyone was either deceased or moved away and so it would just be an empty shell- all the magic is gone because the people who made it special are gone.

Sow your wild oats and travel a bit but just think about things. People are what make locations.

I wouldn't say entirely. As we live in an era of high speed communication. You could pick up the phone or go on the net and video conference with people back home from time to time. Or jump on a plane and visit during the holidays. But in the day to day stuff it's not like your doing stuff with them everyday. And it seems like the older you get the less you need to catch up. Like for me my close friends I like to see at least every week to 2 weeks. Same with family. But could easily get by on seeing them one every quarter, or chatting with them once every quarter. Then the rest of the time you get to live where you want, and on your terms. And then if things get boring, don't pan out, you just don't make the new connections or job loss or whatever, then you could always just go home. That's the way I tend to look at it.