11 year old Klepto...S.O.S

We need some advice...My grand niece is 11 years old and she is a kleptomaniac...she steals money, make-up, food, digital devices...ect She has gotten caught stealing from a store and my sister had the police handcuff her and take her downtown as a scare tactic...The officers said she was totally unaffected, she did not show any emotion what so ever and although she has not stolen from a store again she continues to steal from her siblings, parents, friend's and other relatives. She has been in counseling for the past two years but nothing seems to work. My sister will be having her stay at her house for 3 weeks and we are both at a loss of what if anything us granny's can do to teach her not to steal...any suggestions highly appreciated...

reply to post by shells4u


My parents would threaten military school, if I ever pulled off anything like that. Actually just the threat of it was enough to keep me a pretty good kid!

to be honest, 'cruel to be kind' could well apply here. no amount of counselling's going to help a determined 11 year old i don't think. were she MY child i'd take away all her possessions until she understands that's what she's doing to other people, and i'd probably make her help me with some voluntary work where the smallest amount of possessions mean the world.

when my youngest was 11 he was stealing from all of us too, when he stole £100 from me, i gave him a good sound spanking. it didn't stop him, but he remembers it to this day and says (now aged 24) that if i hadn't he'd have been MUCH worse... thankfully he eventually wised up!

i thought of another thing (sorry for the edits)... it might also be worth asking what she wants, and getting her to work for it doing jobs around the house... sometimes when they start to realise the value of working for something that they want, they actually start doing that. one of the things i had my 11 year old do was bowsaw wood for the fire, something he actually liked doing but it also made him aware that he was working for something he actually wanted. maybe as an 11 year old she doesn't have a way of making her own cash to buy herself some things... that might be worth a try too

good luck with her, she sounds a handful!

Thought this may help, I don't know your stance on using drugs to 'cure' kids, but it may be worth talking to your Doctor about it.

Failing that, keep a really, and I mean really close eye on her, try to encourage her good behaviour instead of just punishing the bad.

Often the rewards for being good can be as much of a rush as the thought of getting caught for doing something bad.

The only other thing I can think of is find her phobia (spiders, snakes or such) and use those as a threat to make her think twice before stealing.

were she MY child i'd take away all her possessions until she understands that's what she's doing to other people,

it might also be worth asking what she wants, and getting her to work for it doing jobs around the house... sometimes when they start to realise the value of working for something that they want, they actually start doing that

Sound advice

Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you

Just my 2 cents

Cody

ETA quotes

I would one of the suggestions to a higher level.
Strip her room of everything but a bed and bedding and minimal clothing.
This makes her room easy to search and also only provides the necessary items a parent is required to provide outside of food and shelter.
She doesn't get any of it back until she has been able to prove that she has quit stealing.

If I did that when I was a kid it would have meant the belt, not a spanking.
My dad made sure I never got in to his reloading supplies after that.
Since they have no sense of propriety of other's possessions I say steal from the child - something they truly value..
Only then will they understand.

funny.... I too stole often when I was 11. But I wouldn't blame the kid. Blame the parents. Are the parents fighting constantly? Are they not in love? Are they planning a divorce? Or something else? That might be what triggered it. Maybe that needs to be addressed, and shown to her that it's fixed and maybe she can somehow then come back down to reality, as she might be acting out based on things she's seeing at home?

reply to post by shells4u


I would not worry about it.. I am sure she will end up successful in life.. Especially in she becomes a banker or a politician.. But in all seriousness if it really bothers you send her on holiday to one of those Muslim countries.. She will learn the true value of her hands or loose them...

Sounds to me like the normal part of the brain which discerns right from wrong just isn't working the same in her. It may be worth it to try a drug treatment route, to help with that brain chemistry, though of course, I'd advise seeking an expert specifically in this field, vs. just any counselor.

Punishment is not going to be very effective if she can't discern what she is doing is wrong.