This Is NOT The Most Important article Ever On ATS, but read it anyway!

Ever had your finger get caught in a door? There is that moment right before, where you realize it is there, but its to late; OUCH!

This is very symbolic of everyday life.

There is a moment of clarity that happens right before you are forced to deal with "the door slamming", but it is usually to late.

This could be as simple as the coffee you chose to drink or as complex as the person you chose to be your life partner; there is a consequence to deal with from a decision made.

How you handle the choice and the adversity that comes from it is dependent upon how you perceive the consequences.

We don't always stop and think about the consequences of our actions, but we should. Some of our choices may only affect us, but more times than not they affect others; family and strangers alike.

If you were told you had a debilitating condition of some kind and the likelihood of recovery to a normal state is less than 1%, how would you handle that? We don't always take the time to draw up living wills that give us the opportunity to choose our own course of action if the situation is one that happens and we are not aware; someone close to us will be forced to make a decision. Pull the plug? Or hope for a miracle recovery?

If I am left with that choice for another, am I making the choice based on their perceived feelings about their condition they are not aware of? Am I making the choice based on my self not wanting to deal with their demise or being forced to care for someone who essentially is no longer capable of living a normal existence?

This poses another set of dilemmas though doesn't it? Who determines what the quality of life is for anyone individual? Maybe, that person is intended to continue down a certain path in order to learn. Maybe you are intended to learn a lesson from caring for someone besides yourself, that requires an enormous amount of patience.

I read this article today that I will share with you now.

edition.cnn.com...
Indian acid attack victim fights for justice

At 17, Sonali Mukherjee's life changed in a instant when three men threw acid on her. She lost her ability to see, hear, eat, walk and talk. Ten years and 27 surgeries later, she's still fighting for justice and her recovery.

Now, I am certain there are many heartbreaking stories like this one to draw from, that help us all to keep things in perspective; tornadoes, earthquakes, monsoons, etc.

We live in a world that is often taken for granted by the masses on a daily basis. I for one hope the worse thing I ever have to deal with is "slamming the door on my finger". Well, I digress, I have had many things happen to me that are far to numerous to describe in full detail and fortunately, none were able to keep me from going forward and learning a valuable lesson from every one of them; from abuse by someone close to me....to many physical problems to overcome...to the things I chose to do from the things others did to me...I still have to make a choice how to deal with adversity and find a way to overcome whatever challenges I have.

There is always someone else that has it worse than me. I have much to be thankful for and try very hard to not take the life I have for granted, I implore all to do the same.

Take Care,

Soul

Going through hard times and overcoming obstacles is what helps us to become more empathetic towards others, to learn more about them, and to learn more about ourselves.

About another point you were making - actions and consequences. The more free will we give ourselves, the more aware we become, the more we have to deal with our choices affecting our lives and the lives of others down the road.

How many decisions does one make in a day? As many as they can handle per day. For some, not many. For others, multiple ones simultaneously for all time.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


Dear soulpoertothendegree,

I thought you summed it up pretty well. S&F.

reply to post by darkbake


What would you do if you had to make the choice for a loved one?

reply to post by AQuestion


Thank you, would still like to know how you would handle the "pull the plug" dilemma?

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree

There is always someone else that has it worse than me. I have much to be thankful for and try very hard to not take the life I have for granted, I implore all to do the same.

Thought provoking. Words fail me really you have really nailed some home truths in the OP. The last sentence is a sober reminder that if we have our health and are able to get a decent sleep and meal each day where really not doing too bad at all.

reply to post by AthlonSavage


Thanks and what would you do in the event you had to make a decision about a loved one?

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree

Thanks and what would you do in the event you had to make a decision about a loved one?

I would make a heart decision considering what options are available and the one which leads to the best outcome for the loved one. This does not necessarily mean it would be the best outcome for me personally.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


Dear soulposertothendegree,

You have asked me how I would handle pulling the plug. Well, I had to make just those decisions for my father. Sometimes when we are in that situation, we are not given any good choices, no guarantees and no answer that will make everything better. The doctors will often just tell you they don't know. They cannot even say with certainty who may recover from a coma.

So here is my answer. I would have to guess at what the person would have wanted. I was fortunate to a degree in that my father had told me he didn't want to be on life control forever; but, he could not tell me how long was long enough. Believe me, I asked before he had his operations and lost the ability to communicate. If it were someone else and they wanted something else, I would attempt to honor my guess as to what they wanted.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


I would assess the situation at hand. Do you know how likely is it that they will recover? What happened? What would they want? How old are they?

Hello OP and everyone,
I have been in that very situation with my own father. My story is long and complicated, and I won't go into it all here...but...I ended up having to make life/death decisions for him at one point.
I was alone with him when he died (in a nursing home)...because he wasn't sent to a hospital (his decision, made earlier before he had pneumonia)...and I believed I was following his wishes.
Seeing him die, threw me into a deep spiral of depression and GUILT...and I basically couldn't handle it. I became somewhat self-destructive and withdrew from everyone emotionally.
Three years later I am trying to 'come back to life'..and stop blaming myself.
Sometimes, I think no matter what decisions we make....we will end up with regret and the thoughts of 'what if'.

You really cannot know how you are going to react in a situation...until you are IN that situation.
If you have to make this decision for someone else, do so with love and kindness. No one should have to suffer endlessly because 'we' don't want them to leave us. Just know that after....you may worry that you made the wrong choice.
Don't punish yourself like I did. I had no other family to help, and no support system....just me.

My thoughts are with you...I hope you have people to help you through this.
jacygirl

reply to post by jacygirl


Thank you for sharing what was obviously a very personal situation. For what it is worth I wrote a thread about death, and it may help you to read it. You will find it here..www.abovetopsecret.com... I had the fortune of seeing my mother through her ascension process, the feeling I had from that was not one of pain, it was one I took a great deal of strength from and I have the knowledge she left and went to a destination free of the physical pain she was experiencing. I believe you have the ability to rise above this situation if you look at it from a different perspective. I wish you positive energy and much love.

Soul

Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by soulpowertothendegree

 

I would assess the situation at hand. Do you know how likely is it that they will recover? What happened? What would they want? How old are they?

Recovery is not possible to predict, even a probability has an ability to be misunderstood. Age means nothing...have they completed the lessons in life they were destined to complete? That is very difficult for anyone to assess.

I have mixed emotions as a human, as a soul, I feel everyone should take the circumstances they are dealt and learn from them. If it is time to move on to the next destination, the soul will do so, If the body is not able to survive then it won't. I posed these questions not for me specifically, but rather to give people food for thought in regard to their own daily life circumstances.

What happened is, also, not the issue and unless they specified a living will, which, I also, have mixed emotions about, then I feel the right thing to do would be to determine can they sustain living without the use of artificial means? I myself was in a diabetic coma, they were instructed not to put me on life support, but that if my heart stopped they could try to revive me and they could feed me insulin intravenously, but they were not allowed to force feed me with a tube.

Would I have survived on a life support machine, likely, but if I did not receive oxygen to my brain for a period of 3 minutes, we would not be having this conversation. I did not ever want to be a burden for my family in the event I was termed "brain dead"; if I survived without a feeding tube or a life support machine then so be it.

Originally posted by AQuestion
reply to post by soulpowertothendegree

 

Dear soulposertothendegree,

You have asked me how I would handle pulling the plug. Well, I had to make just those decisions for my father. Sometimes when we are in that situation, we are not given any good choices, no guarantees and no answer that will make everything better. The doctors will often just tell you they don't know. They cannot even say with certainty who may recover from a coma.

So here is my answer. I would have to guess at what the person would have wanted. I was fortunate to a degree in that my father had told me he didn't want to be on life control forever; but, he could not tell me how long was long enough. Believe me, I asked before he had his operations and lost the ability to communicate. If it were someone else and they wanted something else, I would attempt to honor my guess as to what they wanted.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am certain that was a very difficult time for you as is any time we are required to make these type of decisions. I feel there is a fine line that gets traveled where the person making the decision tends to behave more the way they would want others to behave for them in the same predicament.

I have two ways to look at it, from a human standpoint and a spiritual standpoint...humans very rarely want to take the hardest path to achieve a specific goal, but the soul sometimes needs to travel the rocky road to get the most from an experience. Of course there are many variations of circumstances from which we have to make these decisions, fortunately, there are no wrong choices if the intent is not to harm another on purpose, the lessons will get learned. The content and how we handle the adversity is the key. Even the "wrong" choice has a valuable lesson.

Originally posted by AthlonSavage
reply to post by soulpowertothendegree

 

Thanks and what would you do in the event you had to make a decision about a loved one?

I would make a heart decision considering what options are available and the one which leads to the best outcome for the loved one. This does not necessarily mean it would be the best outcome for me personally.

Nor the best outcome for them either. It is subjective.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


Dear soulpowertoendegree,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am certain that was a very difficult time for you as is any time we are required to make these type of decisions. I feel there is a fine line that gets traveled where the person making the decision tends to behave more the way they would want others to behave for them in the same predicament. I have two ways to look at it, from a human standpoint and a spiritual standpoint...humans very rarely want to take the hardest path to achieve a specific goal, but the soul sometimes needs to travel the rocky road to get the most from an experience. Of course there are many variations of circumstances from which we have to make these decisions, fortunately, there are no wrong choices if the intent is not to harm another on purpose, the lessons will get learned. The content and how we handle the adversity is the key. Even the "wrong" choice has a valuable lesson.

I want to thank you for your words. It was a difficult time and I was blessed that my siblings, who are older, have never questioned any of my decisions. Each of us would have cared for him, I just happened to be there. It would have been 100 times harder to have been second guessed from people half a world away. I loved my father very dearly. We spoke extensively before his operations about if he should have them and what the outcomes might be. I tried to do what he wanted and I would want my kids to do the same for me.

Not long after my father died, my wife left me for another man. There was a time, prior to the divorce being finalized, where legally we both would have been responsible for the decision making regarding the others health if they could not speak for themselves. My ex and I both knew what the other would have wanted and I would have seen to it that she was given the treatment she wanted. I think she would have done the same for me and I was in and out of hospitals at the time (I am much better).

My ex wanted to have her body given to science if she died. I am 100% sure of this. She became a nurse and is totally into this type of stuff. She would have preferred that they try some exotic new procedure to save her, even it was really risky. I on the other hand do not ever wish to be kept alive on total life support and don't want any exotic procedures. I respect her beliefs and know that they are heart felt. I would have made sure that she got what she wanted even people thought I was being mean and even her family would have known I was right. She never hid her beliefs on these things. We are completely divorced for years and if she were in that predicament and I was asked, I would say what her wishes were and ask that they be respected.