Parental Failures...Share Your Funny Stories

Greetings, ATS!

If you're a parent, then you know it's the hardest job imaginable. No training manual, you're constantly winging it.

Sometimes...winging it has its humorous side. Hence this thread.

I've got many parental failures under my belt, and my son is only six. I'm sure there are more coming in the future. Meanwhile, here's one of my best (or worst) parental fail moments.

My son was about three and it was Christmas time. My husband had just made a pan of chocolate fudge and we wanted to see if my son liked it. He'd never tried fudge before.

I brought him into the kitchen and showed him the fudge. He was singularly uninterested. We did the typical new food spiel, tasting it ourselves and "Oooing" over how good it tasted. My son was unimpressed. Finally, he shook his head no and asked for some carrots instead.

To my everlasting shame and embarrassment, I actually told my son "No carrots until you eat your fudge."

As soon as I said it, I was mortified. My husband laughed so hard he had to sit down. And my son? He just said, "Silly Mommy," and proceeded to grab a handful of carrots and toddled out of the room.

Not one of my prouder moments, ATS.

Looking forward to some interesting responses!

reply to post by smyleegrl


My most recent mishap was not realizing that I sent my youngest son to preschool with a pair of pants that had a 2 inch long hole in the back. Thank god he at least put on underwear that day.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Greetings, ATS!

If you're a parent, then you know it's the hardest job imaginable. No training manual, you're constantly winging it.

Sometimes...winging it has its humorous side. Hence this thread.

I've got many parental failures under my belt, and my son is only six. I'm sure there are more coming in the future. Meanwhile, here's one of my best (or worst) parental fail moments.

My son was about three and it was Christmas time. My husband had just made a pan of chocolate fudge and we wanted to see if my son liked it. He'd never tried fudge before.

I brought him into the kitchen and showed him the fudge. He was singularly uninterested. We did the typical new food spiel, tasting it ourselves and "Oooing" over how good it tasted. My son was unimpressed. Finally, he shook his head no and asked for some carrots instead.

To my everlasting shame and embarrassment, I actually told my son "No carrots until you eat your fudge."

As soon as I said it, I was mortified. My husband laughed so hard he had to sit down. And my son? He just said, "Silly Mommy," and proceeded to grab a handful of carrots and toddled out of the room.

Not one of my prouder moments, ATS.

Looking forward to some interesting responses!

Like a job interview, you've tried to turn a strength into a weakness.
Are you rubbing it in that your son would take carrots over sweets???.

reply to post by Chukkles


No, now that he's older he hates carrots and would definently go for the fudge.

The fail was totally mine....you'd expect to hear a parent say "No fudge until you eat your carrots," not what I said.

reply to post by smyleegrl


When my son was in preschool, he once told the teachers there that I gave him "beatings".

In our home, a beating is when I storm into a room, grab my son, and wrestle and tickle and play with him. I'll walk into a room and say, "Who want's a beating?"

My son will run in and we will play.

Well, the preschool didn't get it at first. The police were called and were waiting when I received an odd call to come to his school.

I had to go to another room with him outside the door and shout, "Who wants a beating?" then have him run in laughing before they stopped pressing charges.



Awkward.

When my daughter was 12 and in 6th grade she went to her D.A.R.E. graduation. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education). At the graduation they asked the children to stand up if they knew someone who was on drugs. My daughter stood up. The officer handed her a microphone and asked her who she knew that was on drugs. She stated very proudly "my mom". I was in the audience. I wanted to die. I have never taken drugs EVER.

After the graduation I pulled her aside and asked what the *&&^ she was thinking. She said "in our class Officer So and So said that cigarettes were a drug. You smoke cigarettes. You take drugs". I said "I do not take drugs". She said "YES YOU DO". I said you cant tell people that. She said "you told me to NEVER lie".

She was right. I told her not to lie and in her little blonde head, cigarettes were a drug and I smoked, therefore I took drugs.

Needless to say from then on out I was embarrassed to show my face at her school. She is 17 now, I am sure I have tons more failures as a parent,but, smoking cigarettes seems to have been the biggie with her.
".

I was shopping in Walmart with my son, then aged four. We ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in a long time, and we began to talk.

My son, of course, found this adult conversation incredibly boring. So he wandered down the aisle and started checking out the items on the shelf.

We were in the clearance aisle, where there's a little bit of everything. ,y son found a couple of balls that when you whacked them into something, they giggled and shrieked. He was fascinated by this and decided to share it with me.

He did so by repeatedly slamming the balls into my thigh, all the time shouting, "Mommy! Look!" I tried the quick, "I see it," but he apparently wanted more. I tried to tell him to wait just a minute. I even tried to distract him with other items. No go.

Finally, exasperated beyond my breaking point, I shouted, "Yes, (sons name)! I see your balls!"

I didn't know Walmart could get so quiet.

When thelittleweldsman was a baby, I taught him to crawl.

He didn't seem to be interested until I crawled backwards to show him again.

He spent the next few weeks crawling backwards everywhere.

Originally posted by Theflyingweldsman
When thelittleweldsman was a baby, I taught him to crawl.

He didn't seem to be interested until I crawled backwards to show him again.

He spent the next few weeks crawling backwards everywhere.

By any chance do you have this on video? I would love to see it, that's hilarious!

reply to post by smyleegrl


A Walmart story. Halloween one year my son wanted to go as the Hulk, grabbing the two big toy "fists" he put them on and started swinging. One swing ended up right in the Crown Jewels.

Where your Walmart was quiet, mine broke out in laughter as I lay curled into a ball on the floor of the toy section.

A walmart one...

My daughter was 3 1/2. We had always taught her that if someone tries to take her or makes her feel threatened in a public place to yell hit kick and scream YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY YOU ARE NOT MY DADDY as loud as she could.

On a walmart shopping trip, she decided she did not want to stay with me instead she was trying to run ahead. She was obssessed with the live fish at walmart and we always spent a lot of time looking at them but I wasnt getting there fast enough for her. She would not stop running off so I finally made her grab the side of the cart and told her if she let go one more time we would leave and she would not see the fishes. She let go. I scooped her up and carried her toward the front door of the store. She started kicking screaming and saying YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY over and over hysterically.

I tried to go out of the front door and the elderly door greeter stopped me and asked me to put the child down. I explained she was misbehaving and I was taking her home. My child was still hysterically screaming YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY.

I walked past the door greeter and out of the door and to my car. I put my little darling in her carseat (She was still screaming) and was trying very hard to ignore her screaming and just get home.

I made it to the red light and was greeted by 4 police cars. They blocked me in. I got out of my car and the policeman yelled for me to lay on the ground and not to move. I did as he said.

He came over handcuffed me and I was confused. I asked what did I do? He said we would talk about it in a minute. Several cops ran to the car and got my little darling out of her carseat and put her in the back of a police cruiser.

I was freaking out. The policeman took me to the side of the street and said they had reports a child was abducted and that I left the store with the child. I started laughing. (Wrong thing to do). I said "WHOA wait this is MY child. She was having a tantrum so I was taking her home." He said we would sort it all out later.

We got the police station and they called my husband. (he was active duty military at the time so they talked to his first sargeant who felt the need to accompany my husband to the police station). My husband got there and my little darling ran to him and hugged him telling him that mommy was being mean that she wanted to see the fishes. My husband and his first sargeant vouched that yes that was indeed our child. She even told them I was mommy. My husband brought her birth certificate and passport to prove she was ours. They finally let me go.

I never ever showed my face in that walmart again...I drove 45 minutes up the road to the next one.

reply to post by k21968




You win!

reply to post by beezzer


She has been a challenge. She is now 17 graduating from high school next Saturday. She has been my biggest joy and my biggest frustration all in one.

I love that kid!!

reply to post by k21968


Ours is 10. An awesome son, an angel with dirty knees.

This is from German TV.

The best lullaby ever



Firestarter.

when my father embarassed me at school he kissed me

Once I was on retreat with the other ladies in my church. I went to the payphone to call home one night, hoping to speak with my husband and my two young children, four and two years old. When my husband picked up the phone, he said, "You're busted!"

Apparently the kids were down the hall climbing on their new bunk beds, saying, "Sh*t! Sh*t!"
My husband went down the hall to check it out. "What's that you're saying?" he asked.
My four year old son looked down at him cheerfully and says, "Sh*t, daddy!"
"Now, that's a bad word. You should not be using that word!" my husband explained.
My son replied brightly, "But Mommy says it all the time when she's mad!"

Oops.

I took my son (then aged three) to Pizza Hut for supper. He was extremely hyper and it was all I could do to keep him from literally climbing up the curtains.

As it so happened, our waiter was a newbie, first day on the job. I did my best to put him at ease, because I could tell he was nervous.

When it came time to place our order, I let him know what we wanted. He diligently asked if there was anything else he could get for us.

Being my usual sarcastic self, I quipped, "Two valiums will do nicely."

Poor guy actually came back to our table a few minutes later to apologize and explain that valium wasn't on the menu.

I left him a big tip.

I don't have any kids, so can't contribute any stories. But I liked reading these.