My House smells of PIG POO!!!

Hi folks,

This IS a rant (BUT WITH HUMOUR), so you will have to bear with me here and see why at the end of this post :

So here we go...

It's Springtime here in the beautiful rolling hills of central France, the land of fine wine and gastronomic orgasms...

I am lucky to live smack bang in the middle of the countryside away from the stress and pollution of the city.

The birds are chirruping away and the bumble bees are buzzing from flower to flower gathering pollen :



The old Wisteria that i worked so hard on pruning this winter on the front of my house is coming into blossom, promising much awaited smells and pollenizing insects to bring a little joy into our hearts after these long winter months :




You even get one of our dribbly hounds for free!



As well as the Wisteria, the whole garden is coming back to life :


You also get the other dribbling hound and the 3 legged cat as an extra bonus!

We are hoping for wheelbarrows full of cherries this year :




And even the pond is coming back to life with its orchestra of croaking frogs at the fall of night :



The fields around my house are also coming back to life promising a great yield this year in Sunflowers and rape seed :



Only 2 days ago we had a couple of these guys in front of the house :



And its not rare to see these little guys strolling past too :



I consider myself and my family very lucky indeed to have the natural srroundings that we have been praised with and would never give up where we live... EVEN if we were offered 6 times the price of our house...

HOWEVER...

Yesterday we had a fantastically rather hot day with temperatures of around 26 to 28° and got the BBQ out for the first time in order to have a really good nosh up of some local produced sausages and ribs, all washed down with a nice chilled bottle of Touraine Rosé...

The cinders (we only use vine wood for BBQs) were nice and hot, the sausages were on the BBQ and the Rosé was served... and we were all awaiting a great evening meal seated underneath the parasol whilst taking in the beauty of the garden and surrounding countryside under the slowly setting sun...

SUDDENLY...

From out of no-where appeared our neighbour on a massive big tractor trundling down the small road in front of our house who is a farmer and owner of the land around us... he is also a good friend :



We gave him a wave as we usually do and raised our chilled glasses of Rosé up to him and he waved cheerfully back with a wicked grin on his face...

Why the wicked grin we asked?... AND THEN WE FOUND OUT :


It is muck spreading time!!!



Yes, thats right, the same muck that emanates from the back end of this little bugger!

Tons and tons and tons of the stuff spluttering out of the back of his muck spreader... unleashing purulent waves of pungent pig manure into the fields around our house...

ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......

As we all ran, tripping and stumbling back into the house trying not to spill our glasses of chilled Rosé and also trying to stop the dribbling dogs from pinching our sausages off the BBQ our farmer neighbour cheerily waved at us as his muck spreader chugged slowly past the front of our house in the field in front splattering thick globs of pig poo all over the place!

Needless to say, our first BBQ of the year was a total disaster...

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF... the sausages were inedible as impregnated with the smell of PIG POO (so the dribbling hounds got them in the end!) AND we now have to live cooped up in the house with all windows shut tight for about 5 days until the smell disappears (even with all the windows shut we are reeked out), meaning that we cannot profit from the awakening garden and the beautiful scents of blooming springtime flowers!



Humph... rant, rant, mumble, grumble... (In a way this is a rant but also as i stipulated at the beginning of the post... also HUMOUR, so if the Mod staff wish to move this please feel free in order that certain unsavoury marks such as a couple below will not be posted with the target of ruining this thread)

For those posting unsavoury remarks, why bother wasting your time answering if you have nothing intelligent to say?

Kindest smelly respects

Rodinus

Click here for more information.

Wow, your place sounds amazing! I wish muck spreading was all I had to worry about
Cute pets too

reply to post by Rodinus


nice pad, chap... i also do not mind the smell of poop... logging on to easyjet, see you in a few hours - get the beers in, i like my pizza with jalapenos too

eta: i'll prune your cherry trees for materials for sticks and spoons too


2nd eta... you have deer too, will be foraging for antler as well... get the z-bed out!

reply to post by johncarter


This is a rant and nobody forced you to come into here and read this. I do enjoy the relevant use of "crap" though.



Yeah, that sucks it really does. I live in rural surroundings myself but thankfully there are not that many farmers fields near my home... But here at university is a whole other issue entirely. There is a farmer that raises cattle just at the edge of the university so about every day whenever it's warm, you get the ripe smell of cow dung blowing all through the air and even permeating inside of the buildings if the conditions are right. It's very unpleasant and it eventually seeps into your clothes and hair... Yuck. I'd have to say my all time least favorite scent is that of chicken manure though. Worst smell I've ever smelled in my entire life.

reply to post by Rodinus

Great post and lovely pics. It looks gorgeous where you are. I'm envious!

And yes, as I grew up in the country I know about manure-spreading time. Even where I live now in the Czech Republic, when we go out to our country cottage and catch a whiff of that special "aroma", we say what most Czechs do: "Ah, the smell of home!"

Run outside, gather a bunch of the lovely fragrant flowers, and bring them back in the house.
If nothing else, you can just stand by them sniffing all day.

Or just drink A LOT more wine. Then you won't care.

Sorry it ruined your BBQ though.

Originally posted by johncarter
And I should care about this crap, why?

Not sure if your response is humour John, but if so, star to you, however if it is not, you didn't need to waste your time responding if you did not care!

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by skalla


Meet you at the airport, wine and beer are already in the fridge and pizza about to be made...



I actually have a couple of deer antlers somewhere in the cellar!

Warmest respects

rod

Umm, that's the perils of living in the country I guess.

I live in the suburbs of a city in the West of England and guess what? The farmers are muck spreading and because of the direction of the winds, the fumes of said muck roll down the hills and into everyone's house.

I don't have the fortune of living a idyllic lifestyle surronded by wonderful nature, yet this time every year, our nasal passages are subjected to a tirade of what can best be described as the stench of hell, with an essence of sickly sweet.

Bon apetit!!!

Move back to the city and choke on Exhaust or stop whining...

Originally posted by abeverage
Move back to the city and choke on Exhaust or stop whining...

This post is a humourous rant, no need to troll it out please?

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Myomistress


We are lucky that it only lasts a couple of days so it is not too much of a problem, i prefer pig poo to city pollution any day

We are also lucky that our farmer neighbour only uses natural products on his crops.. No OMGs, dangerous pesticides etc...

Just ruined our first BBQ.. But the wine was good

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by sarahlm


Thanks sarah,

Heaven on earth... we don't need to go away on holiday here, every day after work it's like being on holiday

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


I feel your pain... for almost 2 weeks it seems, we have been bombarded by the constant nauseating smell of manure freshly spread. Now that I think of it, I hadn't even noticed that I haven't smelled it for a couple of days. Thanks for making me realize that!

reply to post by Rodinus

It is that, yeah.

Your OP is possibly the most picturesque rant I've ever seen on ATS. Thank you for sharing it with us -- three-legged cat and all.

Originally posted by wtbengineer
reply to post by Rodinus

 

I feel your pain... for almost 2 weeks it seems, we have been bombarded by the constant nauseating smell of manure freshly spread. Now that I think of it, I hadn't even noticed that I haven't smelled it for a couple of days. Thanks for making me realize that!

Not to mention those sausages gulped down by the mad dribbling hounds... Now THAT was painful!

Kindest respects

Rodinus

reply to post by Rodinus


Ok, I have to ask, I have never heard the term "dribbling hounds" what does that mean?

Originally posted by chiefsmom
reply to post by Rodinus

 

Ok, I have to ask, I have never heard the term "dribbling hounds" what does that mean?

A dribbling hound

Here is one for you :



Basically a salivating dog in eager anticipation of home made local produced sausages that smell of pig poo on the BBQ

Kindest respects

Rodinus

A rant of the positive kind, I can dig it.

...and the pictures... beautiful. You have some very beautiful land there my friend.