I'm a total idiot.

Last Sunday, it was my turn to cook dinner, and I may or may not
have been completely drunk off my ass. Filled with boredom and boozey confidence,
I looked around the corner to ensure I was alone, and began trying to
juggle the carving knives, and quite predictably, dropped the largest one
into my foot. Still not the problem, it was nothing a few muffled screams
and a tourniquet couldn't solve. Anyway, when dinner was ready, while
taking the rather large casserole dish out the oven, my shoddy bandaging
caught on something, I tripped up and dropped the dish on my -other- foot.
I'm quite certain I broke a few toes, the constant dull, internal throbbing, swelling
at the joints and one toe pointing at a weird angle makes me feel kind of sure of it.

It'd cost me 300 bucks to just see a doctor, like another 400 for an x-ray, 200 for decent
painkillers and if they see my other foot, then it's more for a nurse for stitches
and local anaesthetic, i'd be lucky to leave without looking at a bill over a grand.

So, ATS, what i'm asking, is how do I deal with a broken toe or two without
professional help, and more importantly good lord how do I deal with the constant,
throbbing pain ?

Disclaimer- I don't have any kids so no innocents were exposed to my reckless
behaviour, and I recooked the meal before anyone noticed so no one went hungry,
though please feel free to chime in to tell me what a complete ass I am.

Lol, man, that's a story. Doctors most likely wont do anything for broken toes. I've broken a few in my day and if they aren't pointing in some weird direction you'll just have to suffer through it.

Oh, you have to put cameras in your kitchen.
Sorry, but it's funny

To bad you weren't Canadian, fixing your foot wouldn't cost you anything, except maybe your pride. I think the doctors would find the story of how you got there, quite funny.

If your toes are jutting out at weird angles, you're going to have to see a professional.
The longer you leave it, the more damage you'll do from trying to walk on it.

I broke my baby toe once, and the swelling went into my ankle from trying to use it.

You don't want too much pain management until its fixed, or you might make it worse.

reply to post by DelegateZero88


To deal with the constant throbbing pain......

Keep your foot elevated. The less blood rushing to the foot, the less pain.

Good luck.

Thanks, that actually does help a bit.

Lol, no, no cameras, having to walk around with the Charlie Chapman waddle from two aching feet
is punishment enough. If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take your toe and ankle to heal
up?

I'm sorry, but that story made me laugh. I do feel bad for you though.

I'd get it fixed up if I were you. Do you really want to risk having a permanent injury from this? Being unable to run for the rest of your life from something stupid like this? The likelihood is probably pretty low, but it is a possibility.

As a former soccer player for 15 years, I have broken 7 toes, 3 more than once, and multiple other times I am certain they were broken but I didnt seek medical attention.

A lot of it depends on which toe it is. Baby toe? Not important. Do your best to keep pressure off of it, it'll heal. Nothing more than a nuisance.

The general rule is, the bigger the toe, the more attention it needs. Ibuprofen, Ice and elevation are the general prescription, along with doing your best to keep off of it.

I know a guy who broke his little toe in the middle of a match, and rather than stop playing HE CUT IT OFF. Grossest thing I have ever seen. He said "eh, Ive broken it half a dozen times already, id rather it just be gone.". Dude was nuts. But it worked.

Are you in the US? If so, check out and apply for your state's indigent care program (Xrays 5 bucks instead of hundreds, etc). In Colorado it's called CICP (Colorado Indigent Care Program).

This program will end next year because of Obamacare though.

Maybe you should think twice before juggling carving knives and cooking when you've had few

He re is a link to a google search on 'how to set a broken toe'

The first link is a wikihow on what to do.


Good luck.... supergenius.


ETA: You may want someone else to physically set your toe, seeing as it will be quite painful and the pain may affect your thinking.

reply to post by DelegateZero88


It took me about a month or so to heal, but I was only 16 then, we heal fast when we're young.
It was a crunch type of break. I tried to kick a ball for the dog, and caught the fridge with my toe.

Good advice, thank you, but the rest of that was just messed up. A part of me wants to know how
he took it off, the saner part of me is repulsed.

I confess, I laughed more than once.

For a broken toe if you can stand the pain, tape the toe to line up with the toe next to it, it may hurt but that is all the Dr's would do. Ibuprohen is still a great painkiller. The best shoes to wear are sneakers or good work boots, they will keep the toe elevated so you're not using the toe to grip as you walk. Alternating with hot and cold packs will help with the swelling and healing. They take a while to heal so give it some time 6-8wks. I have broken 4 toes over the years, the latest just a few months ago, hence the advice, but do know I'm not a medical practioner.

Hope this helps, I have stopped laughing, sort of.

Originally posted by DelegateZero88
Last Sunday, it was my turn to cook dinner, and I may or may not
have been completely drunk off my ass. Filled with boredom and boozey confidence,
I looked around the corner to ensure I was alone, and began trying to
juggle the carving knives, and quite predictably, dropped the largest one
into my foot. Still not the problem, it was nothing a few muffled screams
and a tourniquet couldn't solve. Anyway, when dinner was ready, while
taking the rather large casserole dish out the oven, my shoddy bandaging
caught on something, I tripped up and dropped the dish on my -other- foot.
I'm quite certain I broke a few toes, the constant dull, internal throbbing, swelling
at the joints and one toe pointing at a weird angle makes me feel kind of sure of it.

It'd cost me 300 bucks to just see a doctor, like another 400 for an x-ray, 200 for decent
painkillers and if they see my other foot, then it's more for a nurse for stitches
and local anaesthetic, i'd be lucky to leave without looking at a bill over a grand.

So, ATS, what i'm asking, is how do I deal with a broken toe or two without
professional help, and more importantly good lord how do I deal with the constant,
throbbing pain ?

Disclaimer- I don't have any kids so no innocents were exposed to my reckless
behaviour, and I recooked the meal before anyone noticed so no one went hungry,
though please feel free to chime in to tell me what a complete ass I am.

The first step to not being an idiot is admitting you are one. You are well on your way.

reply to post by DelegateZero88

and I recooked the meal before anyone noticed so no one went hungry, though please feel free to chime in to tell me what a complete ass I am.

Thats the best injury story Ive heard in awhile Who thinks juggling kitchen knives is a good idea
Thanks for the laugh

Id recommend a trip to Canada or Cuba, It will cost you money to get there but once your there you get it fixed for free, may as well get a holiday for your money as well as the Dr visit.

And yes you are a total and complete Ass LOL

Originally posted by DelegateZero88
Good advice, thank you, but the rest of that was just messed up. A part of me wants to know how
he took it off, the saner part of me is repulsed.

Medical scissors that were intended to cut tape.

Dude, you have no idea how much you just disturbed me.

Tape the broken toes together... as far as the throbbing goes, there really is nothing you can do but suck it up. I take that back... there is one thing that you can do, but the very mention of it violates this sites T&C... Hint: Watch a Cheech and Chong movie... you'll figure it out

Originally posted by DelegateZero88
Dude, you have no idea how much you just disturbed me.

makes my stomach turn a little just thinking about it. ive never seen anything quite like it before, or since (although I hear that football players do this from time to time as well).

The loud POP that accompanied his snapping the bone will stick with me forever.

You just had to tell me that didn't you. That is without a doubt the best pain
relief advice i've had so far, I can't get that image out my head. And you put 'pop'
in bold. It's going to take a few days for me to shake that off.