My absolute decline

I'm 22 years old, considered attractive, at 5'7. (155 lbs) No girl considers me because of my abandonment issues and height. I'm a nice guy. I work out all the time, I have a great body with a 6 pack, but it doesn't account for much. I lack confidence. Women treat me like a child. I see everyone else prosper when i've tried so hard to be taken seriously. From my height issues, I see the correlation to my financial struggles. My mom is smoking a chimney, as if each cigarette takes her closer to her deathbed. My dad disowned me for no reason whatsoever. He's compelled to ignore me and treat me like an acquaintance, not a son. I haven't talked to him in months, he claims that I would be 100 x better if I had been raised by him. My step dad of 10 years left my mother and I when I was 17, no goodbye. I haven't ever had a girlfriend. The few times I've tried to have sex, I've had issues (snip) I keep experiencing the same issues in my life and there's no reason for it. I'm attractive, I'm nice, I'm intelligent, but there's only pain and loneliness in my life. Maybe it's me... Maybe I'm the one who's broken. I'm so tired of inadequacy...(snip). This isn't a question... I can't afford a psychiatrist or psychologist to assist me with my cognitive disfunction. I'm cold to all, even the few who love me. There's no restructuring my psyche after perceiving the error, and seeing it as myself.

I've thought, maybe I can get leg extension surgery, find a better job, and make something of myself. Maybe there's a girl out there that will at least talk to me.

The only thing I have is my despondent mind, my small conditioned body, and the possible future that it holds. It doesn't look promising... and I feel the only way out (snip).

I want to know why the world is closed to me, why everyone treats me like a stranger. I'd hate the reason to be myself, when I can be friendly. Although, I'm not so friendly anymore... in fact I'm quite a jaded asshole and I just want to end it.

You're not even that short... you don't need surgery.

Oops U are in a bad situation.
If your main problem is 'women' , It is highly recommended that you take part in RSD BOOTCAMP.
Also if you PM me I can give you some self help ebooks

Lol!

Dude!

I'm 5 foot 6!

It's all about wit and swagger.

My wife is almost half my age.

Buck up.

Grow some.

Get laid.

OP it isn't what you look like, it is about who you are.
Forget about how you look and just be you.
You are 22 plenty to do and see, heck why even bother with girls etc? just enjoy yourself and the girls will come.
Also boo chuffing hoo, many of us have had #ty lives but get on with it.
Look at it this way, are you starving? have you a bed and a roof over your head? If yes be happy you have those and think about people who have not.
Western problems.
Grow up dude, go and do something good for someone else, it is the best feeling in the world.

get lifts in your shoes.

Im 6'2" but have one leg shorter then the other, by 1-1/2 inches,tragic boating accident, no joke, haha.

I go to the shoe repair man and he will lift my one shoe so my legs are even. They can raise your shoes up to 5 inches without any real big difference in the looks of your shoes.

PS,
I know a dude thats like 5'6" and hes one of the biggest players I know. Hes so smooth with his words to the laides Its ridicules. Hes short but its not holding him back. His big advantage is he’s so confident in himself he’s on the boarder of being cocky. Girls flock to confidence. He'll walk up to the hottest girl in the club or party and just start talking to them, they find him to be a fun guy, exchange numbers, and he'll take them home that night. He does this all the time.

His problem is hes to much of a player. Hes never with the same girl for more then a few weeks. Its so bad i dont even care to remember there names anymore.

Bro, forget the height issues. If you're 5'7", you have plenty of height. I've known more than one guy in my life shorter than you, and neither had problems getting girlfriends. It has nothing to do with your height!!!

The problems are internal, not external. Forget the girlfriend for the time being, and start working on your inner self. Start looking at yourself in the mirror in the morning, eye to eye contact, and talk to the guy looking back at you. Let him know he isn't such a bad guy. Let him know he's worthy of your love and respect. Let him know he deserves to live. He deserves a chance to work out his issues, and move on and up in his life, and you're going to be there for him. I'm not joking. Do it. And do it daily.

If you will learn to be your own friend, and work out your issues, the girl will come to you when the time is right. You won't have to go looking.

Originally posted by cbankord
I'm 22 years old, considered attractive, at 5'7. (155 lbs) No girl considers me because of my abandonment issues and height. I'm a nice guy. I work out all the time, I have a great body with a 6 pack, but it doesn't account for much. I lack confidence. Women treat me like a child. I see everyone else prosper when i've tried so hard to be taken seriously. From my height issues, I see the correlation to my financial struggles. My mom is smoking a chimney, as if each cigarette takes her closer to her deathbed. My dad disowned me for no reason whatsoever. He's compelled to ignore me and treat me like an acquaintance, not a son. I haven't talked to him in months, he claims that I would be 100 x better if I had been raised by him. My step dad of 10 years left my mother and I when I was 17, no goodbye. I haven't ever had a girlfriend. The few times I've tried to have sex, I've had issues getting it up. The one girlfriend that I had been with was ****** in front of me while I was held down by my roommates. I keep experiencing the same issues in my life and there's no reason for it. I'm attractive, I'm nice, I'm intelligent, but there's only pain and loneliness in my life. Maybe it's me... Maybe I'm the one who's broken. I'm so tired of inadequacy... I want to die. This isn't a question... I can't afford a psychiatrist or psychologist to assist me with my cognitive disfunction. I'm cold to all, even the few who love me. There's no restructuring my psyche after perceiving the error, and seeing it as myself.

I've thought, maybe I can get leg extension surgery, find a better job, and make something of myself. Maybe there's a girl out there that will at least talk to me.

The only thing I have is my despondent mind, my small conditioned body, and the possible future that it holds. It doesn't look promising... and I feel the only way out is a hand full of painkillers.

I want to know why the world is closed to me, why everyone treats me like a stranger. I'd hate the reason to be myself, when I can be friendly. Although, I'm not so friendly anymore... in fact I'm quite a jaded asshole and I just want to end it.

edit on 4-1-2013 by cbankord because: (no reason given)

So you consider yourself to be small, have you never heard of the phrase "good things come in small packages"?

However, if you really think that it would make you feel better to have leg extension surgery then i advise you to seek advice from your doctor who will put you on the right tracks as to how to go about this option (i have a family member who undertook this surgery but she was much younger having only 17 years old) but after the long processus of the surgery and healing, was much more at one with herself both physically and mentally.

Just keep the chin up and look forward to what the future brings... Jeez, you are only 22... all your life to find that special person who will take you for who you are.

Keep positive



Kindest respects

Rodinus

woe is me right? lol

Seriously, If I try to be confident, I'm an asshole.
If I try to be nice, I'm a carpet.

If I'm shy and quiet I'm boring.
if I'm too friendly and make too much eye contact, I'm awkward and make them nervous.

It seriously plays out too much in life for me and I'm tired of getting hurt by the same mechanisms. I realize that death is a mystery, with a degree of permanence. Suicide has been going through my mind for years... all stemmed from these same issues.

I've read "The Game" by neil strauss, to pick up women. I can be confident and say witty things in front of women, but it doesn't matter.

I feel like I'm wasting my life, when there is potential of love. When lesser men get all that they desire, I pray for a slice.

Thinking about it is beyond aggravating and leaves me with a sense of hopelessness and confusion. I want to keep trying, but I want to know why I've failed. The answer eludes me.

It feels as if it's something I can't change... like my height, and that saddens me, for the loneliness is unbearable.

Originally posted by cbankord
I'm 22 years old, considered attractive, at 5'7. (155 lbs) No girl considers me because of my abandonment issues and height. I'm a nice guy. I work out all the time, I have a great body with a 6 pack, but it doesn't account for much. I lack confidence. Women treat me like a child. I see everyone else prosper when i've tried so hard to be taken seriously. From my height issues, I see the correlation to my financial struggles. My mom is smoking a chimney, as if each cigarette takes her closer to her deathbed. My dad disowned me for no reason whatsoever. He's compelled to ignore me and treat me like an acquaintance, not a son. I haven't talked to him in months, he claims that I would be 100 x better if I had been raised by him. My step dad of 10 years left my mother and I when I was 17, no goodbye. I haven't ever had a girlfriend. The few times I've tried to have sex, I've had issues getting it up. The one girlfriend that I had been with was ****** in front of me while I was held down by my roommates. I keep experiencing the same issues in my life and there's no reason for it. I'm attractive, I'm nice, I'm intelligent, but there's only pain and loneliness in my life. Maybe it's me... Maybe I'm the one who's broken. I'm so tired of inadequacy... I want to die. This isn't a question... I can't afford a psychiatrist or psychologist to assist me with my cognitive disfunction. I'm cold to all, even the few who love me. There's no restructuring my psyche after perceiving the error, and seeing it as myself.

I've thought, maybe I can get leg extension surgery, find a better job, and make something of myself. Maybe there's a girl out there that will at least talk to me.

The only thing I have is my despondent mind, my small conditioned body, and the possible future that it holds. It doesn't look promising... and I feel the only way out is a hand full of painkillers.

I want to know why the world is closed to me, why everyone treats me like a stranger. I'd hate the reason to be myself, when I can be friendly. Although, I'm not so friendly anymore... in fact I'm quite a jaded asshole and I just want to end it.

edit on 4-1-2013 by cbankord because: (no reason given)

I'm 26 weigh 113 KG and im 5Ft tall and I never had a GF or been laid, So I can't really sympathise to much since I'm in a worse position that you....

But that is only if you see it in that way. I don't, it's pointless to see things in that way, it only causes negative thoughts and emotions makes your quality of life shrink and lets your ego put you down. Yeah i understand your body craving for sex and wanting someone your only male and is perfectly normal, being alone has caused me a few mental issues as well mainly because all my friends can get partners except me and being quite a hot blooded, passionate person being lonely makes me very depressed but then i realised acting depressed is not attractive trait, in fact it is quite a self centred thing to do, here what i started to do to get out of my rut.

Make a list of all the things you think are attractive traits that women want all positive no negatives like (Being a ass or arrogant) and then start trying to become everything on that list that women want. I garentee you will not finish that list before girls start to find you interesting. But you learn to deal with it in time I'm sure you are a really nice guy and you do not need leg surgery for sure.

I think you just need to get out more get some hobbies go meet some new people. I know it a lot easier to say than do, but seams like you just like me are causing your own problems by not interfacing with people, I have slowly started to change my ways since last year by going to gym has helped a lot but still got a long way to go.

You should try a dating/sex site they are great for hooking up with people especially if you are athletic build a lot of girls love that in a guy. I have had a few friends sign up mainly to sex site and it worked out pretty good for them some times they even become gf and bf.

I'm not sure what the stared out word was on your post but if it is a word that begins with F then I would of probably stabbed someone or at least committed some sort of murder. That is pretty messed up.

I think you are dwelling too much on height as an excuse. One of the most attractive men I have ever met was 5'7".

I think you need to realize that you are you. Don't let the other jerks in your life affect you. You can control your actions so take responsibility of you, and make yourself the best you can. Dress the best for your body shape, keep an inviting smile on your face, make eye contact with girls (this part is important), and just live your life. The rest will follow.

Realize that everyone has ups and downs in their life. You are in a down, it happens. Love, money, and happiness are fragile things.....

Find some friends and don't be too shy to invite them for drinks. Girls like to see guys with friends. Most girls go for the leader of the pack, so if you are the one that is busting your friends up with laughter, feminine eyes will be drawn to you.

Please don't think you need to find the bottom of the pill bottle. That is a horrible way to think. It only draws pity from others and is used as an excuse in the back of your mind to not make things better. The fact that you even care about your mom smoking shows me you are a caring individual. You have much to offer others, you just need to look inside yourself and see the good that others see in you.

Like the other poster said, wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror. Admire the good things you see. Praise yourself for what you have accomplished and leave the rest behind.

May your 2013 be blessed, and may you find what you are looking for.

I am having a hard time with words, but first I have to say if you are really thinking of ending it, don't. There is never a good reason to do that.

PLPL

Also you are the same size as Tom Cruise.
What do you want us all to do? say ah poor you and give you sympathy? nope like I said your life is 10 times better than 2/3rds of the world.
Help yourself, get out more and stop wallowing in self pity...that is something girls do not like.

Not to get completely off topic, but do you have a religious preference? I ask because it sounds as though a group like a church small group may benifit you.

If no religious desires, maybe a fraternal organization like the Masons or something. It sounds like you would greatly benifit from a group atmosphere.

I appreciate all the kind words and advice . I still need to find something worth living for...

I have so much love to give... but instead of giving it, I see hate in myself.

I feel like I can't be loved, that's why I turn to self destruction.

reply to post by cbankord


I don't know where you are, but how about joining the big brother program? Sounds like you would have good advice to offer a little one.

Originally posted by Doodle19815
Not to get completely off topic, but do you have a religious preference? I ask because it sounds as though a group like a church small group may benifit you.

If no religious desires, maybe a fraternal organization like the Masons or something. It sounds like you would greatly benifit from a group atmosphere.

Definitely not religious, but I would like to be apart of something bigger than myself.

reply to post by cbankord


Then you are your own worst enemy.
Stop seeing the bad in a situation, find the good.
You have a purpose, seek it out.

PLPL

reply to post by cbankord


Either Masons or the big brother thing if you need contact info for the US, message me. I can put you in touch with someone.

Wow, you sound almost exactly like me around your age, except I am a tall woman

That makes me sound really old, but I am only 33. I tell you what, I don't think this has anything to do with your physical stature. I think that is just the best you have come up with to answer the "why" to your current situation.

First thing you need to figure out is that it isn't you, a lot of people are just mean and self centered. Who really does matter to you? Hold them close, but know that people aren't perfect and do make mistakes. Try not to worry so much about what anyone else has to say. There is always going to be someone trying to knock you down. Don't let them win!

I went through a lot of my life feeling like I wasn't good enough and that there was something wrong with me. I finally decided to just accept me for me, weird quirks and all. I enrolled in a radio DJ school because it was something that I really wanted to learn after growing tired of being a nurse for 10 years. I ended up meeting my hubby and getting married during that time and it was a real turning point for me.

What do you enjoy? Try something new, and try to do it without fear. Go take cooking classes. Learn how to fly a plane, you can take a beginner course for about $200 bucks. Colleges have little fun classes all the time, see what your local college offers and sign up. I know it takes money to do these things, so work hard and save up. It will be well worth it in the end. You will meet new people outside of your little circle and grow more confidence. Life does get better.

As far as trust issues, I still struggle with them. I am a pastors wife, and going to church with so many loving and embracing people is completely unnatural to me. I was jaded for so long and have such a wall up that it is hard for me understand love that is unassuming and doesn't expect anything in return. The hardest thing has been just trusting God, but I am learning everyday little by little. It feels so good to finally be able to let go of a lot of that pain that I carried around for so long.

I don't know where your spiritual beliefs lie, but joining a church might help as well. There are so many good people with good hearts and a listening ear there. I know how incredibly hard it is to walk through those doors if you don't know anyone. You are suspicious of every single person and think that they are all so fake. Give them a chance and you might just be surprised. Call around and find one that has a good sized young adult program. Most will even have someone come pick you up if you need a ride. Or, ask around with the folks that you know, they may attend one or may just want to join you in checking one out.

I don't know what exactly you are looking for here, just a place to vent, or for some actual advise. I will be praying for you and hope you find what it is you want out of life. Just know that you are not alone and that others have been in similar situations and have made it out a-okay, there is no reason that you can't as well.

~OkieDokie