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[APWC] The Chicken or the Egg

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posted on Aug, 3 2012 @ 08:03 PM
“That [snip] pig’s a right ol’ dirty slag!” Fina snapped back whilst munching on a corn stick.

“She sat there all night tweaking her nipples with her trotters, for all to see!” she pecked another sweet looking kernel, before darting her head up into the air then eyeing the others who were tightly gathered around the trough.

“Oh Fi!” Sturdy replied; even from afar her voice carried enough weight, like her size to be heard across the whole farm yard; half munching on a bunch of wet grass. “She was only having a bit of a laugh!... Crikey!....The only fun I get is from that hairy old farmer tugging at my udders and a plastic thing rammed up my foof once in a while. Give her a break!” she sighed

“ I wish I had a male for me to impress once in a while. “She continued with a hint of frustration and proceeded to munch on that bit of wet grass.

Fi wasn’t impressed, not only at being overheard but having an opinion thrust upon her by a fat cow to say the least.
“Was I speaking to you?” She hissed, turning her head around to meet the gaze of the cumbersome looking cow. “Just because SHHEE!; gets a male; she doesn’t have to flaunt IT to all and sundry!” She ruffled her feathers with a judder as if to express her disgust.

The others around the trough nodded their heads with agreement then carried on munching away at the troughs contents.

Sturdy stopped munching the grass and swallowed deep. With five stomachs and with that load, it was going to be a problem.

“FI! You’ve had Danny the Cock only last week! And every week for the past three years, for crying out loud, give her a break will you? Squealer hasn’t had a mate for three years! No wonder she was giving it large! Can blame her for that?”

A sigh came over her and she drifted off into a fantasy as if she had just been reading Fifty Shades of Cow whilst riding on a bus over a very bumpy road.

“Blame HER! Blame HER! Who does she think she is? It wasn’t enough that we had to sit and watch that debauchery, we had to hear the sounds! Oh my god the noise!” She scoffed another kernel again eyeing up the reaction of her comrades around the trough.

“Fi, Every dayI hear the noise of you passing an egg but accept it as part of being you, let her be a pig!”

“Yeah well she is that!” Fi said with a smirk quietly to the others in-font of her.

Chuckles from them spurred her into a frenzy of excitement and acceptance.

“But YOU!” She shouted back to Sturdy, “Will always be a FAT OLD COW! With udders that can flatten grass!”

She sneered quickly gauging the reaction of her comrades.

They were pleased, muffled chuckles snuffled out from their munching mouths.

Fi grinned then saw in their eyes, startled with fear. She felt the ground tremble and an ever increasing noise rose from behind her. She turned her head to see a cow hoof swinging towards her face.
Sturdy kicked Fi like a football high into the air, leaving a trail of feathers as she tumbled mid-flight.

The shock hit Fi for six and her body gave way. Just as she was about to make impact an egg flew out of her egg hole and she impacted with the hairy farmer coming out of his front door.

The farmer was knocked off his feet from the impact and he rolled across the muddy yard.

The Pig popped her head up from the sty, cigarette still smouldering and s'n-word'ed to her mate. “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” the male pig shrugged, rolled over and carried on sleeping.

The sheep at the trough chuckled.

edit on 3-8-2012 by Tykonos because: (no reason given)

edit on 3/8/12 by masqua because: Censor circumvention per T&C's

posted on Aug, 3 2012 @ 08:09 PM
Star and flag for not being afraid to write how you want.

Story was a little odd, but not bad all in all. Good use of imagery.

posted on Aug, 3 2012 @ 08:13 PM

Originally posted by coven83
Star and flag for not being afraid to write how you want.

Story was a little odd, but not bad all in all. Good use of imagery.

Hey thanks.

A little odd indeed but the subject was about talking animals so yeah a bit odd.

posted on Aug, 3 2012 @ 09:59 PM
I've got a particular wierd sense of humour so ths story gets a definite flag from me ;up;

posted on Aug, 4 2012 @ 09:19 PM
Scrambled, but eggsellent.

posted on Aug, 5 2012 @ 10:25 PM
Thanks Littlewolf and the The Gut

Yeah it's certainly a little scrambled but I tend to just let rip. I need to learn patience and make sure the message trying to be told is more articulate.

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