Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

Just to clarify, it isn't something that I will take lightly. My folks certainly didn't. It probably hurt them just as much, if not more, than it did me. It was just the way they do things. No sane person enjoys doing that.


I don't want to be mislabeled as a violent psychopath.

Originally posted by DarthOej
Just to clarify, it isn't something that I will take lightly. My folks certainly didn't. It probably hurt them just as much, if not more, than it did me. It was just the way they do things. No sane person enjoys doing that.


I don't want to be mislabeled as a violent psychopath.

Ahhhh... The classic "this hurts me more than its hurting you" argument...... Trust me when I say that statement only runs true if the person who is giving the beating has a heart, but on the flip side, you would probably think no person with a heart would ever smack or hit a kid especially knowing that there are better ways to discipline a kid before ever putting your hands on them.... I believe you should never put your hands on another person (i dont care if you brought them into this world or not) and you definietly should never put your hands on a kid who cant defend themselves....

There is nothing wrong with putting someone in place. Heck I have done it a good few times growing up and been put in place myself.

I remember coming home from school at around the age of 13 I noticed this kid standing on the side of the road. As I approached him he started cursing and calling me names, I recognized him as one of the 'trouble kids' in the area who generally behaved bad. I got annoyed at him and walked over to him and pushed him head first into a big pile of snow and ice - started weeping and ran home. He was around 6-7 years old.

It's things like the above that I feel could never happen with my generation, we had such respect for our elders and wouldn't dare be rude. Kids these days are just generally rude and show absolutely no respect. So imo give them a good beating until they show submission.

All I can say on this topic is that I was brought up being beaten if I was naughty and please trust me when I tell you I was naughty

Thing is my Wife was brought up without being beaten once. She turned out just fine and in a way so did I. We bothrespect our elders and the law. She has convinced me to follow her way of disciplining a child much to my disbelief.

The only thing I can say in defence of a good hiding is if you look in nature. Lets say a pride of Lions. If the cubs are naughty and begin to annoy the alpha male he wacks those cubs trust me I have seen this with my own eyes during my years of working in the African bush

I oppose striking a child for any reason, under any circumstances, personally.

In my opinion striking a child inflicts pain and instills fear, rather than teaching. If you strike a child because it does X, it will likely fear doing X because it does not want to be struck again. This does nothing to actually teach the child why you don't want them to do X, or why doing X might harm them. Some might argue that at a young enough age, children are too young to understand "why." To that I say: wait until they do. Hitting them isn't going to expedite it. It will just teach them to fear the consequences of doing it. Some will argue that what is paramount is their protection, by any means. To that I can only say that surely there are methods to control a young child's behavior and to protect them without inflicting pain or fear. Those methods might be more emotionally taxing, frustrating, and time consuming for the parent, but shouldn’t it be worth it to any loving parent to find a means of protecting their child without also hurting and frightening their child?

Therefore, if the child's comprehension is not strengthened by striking them, and if there are other means of protecting them available, what basis is there for striking them? In my opinion: anger, dominance, and frustration. And if that's the best justification one can come up with, then I think it speaks for itself.

I'm not seeking to judge anyone. I'm just not someone who can condone striking a being smaller, weaker, and less knowledgeable than you in response to it doing something you don't want it to, which even if their best interest is what one claims the motivation is, is all it ultimately boils down to. "I'm big, you're small, I'm strong, you're weak, do what I say or I will hurt you so you do.... because I 'love' you."

Just my honest two cents. Again, it is not my intent to judge or offend. Peace.

Yeah, even putting your finger in a kids face should be illegal. Really yelling too loud should be illegal, you could scare them. Any form of punishment, should actually be outlawed. If kids don't know any better why should they be in trouble by another human that also makes mistakes. For example my oldest son punched my youngest son in the face, so I said, hey if you don't punch him anymore I'll give you money. He said, "Ok Dad." He stopped punching him all the way until the next day. Now, every time he punches him I just give em money and he stops.

Yer...that's nice,just give them money to solve the problem.

Seriously,what world are you living in? Pointing a finger at a child or teenager,another human should be illegal...?
Yelling too loud should be illegal?

Because we could scare them? lol!

Have a good think about what your saying here.

I think your parenting and comment is laughable.

When there isn't rules,there's chaos...

I was psychically disciplined(smacked,spanked,yelled at,beaten for offensive actions or language) and I'm probably better for it and obviously still alive.This also goes on alot around the whole world,punishment is alot harsher in other parts of the world compared to the western countries as well.

Are you trying to turn communities into dangerously soft groups of people...?

At least I acknowledge that the world isn't perfect,filled with sunshine and lollypops.

Any form of punishment, physical, or mental, is unacceptable.. in my opinion. That doesn't mean I believe "the law" should interfere. I believe the authorities shouldn't interfere unless in circumstances of actual abuse.

A child that is 'unruly' and doesn't respond to their parents, is a sign of a parent that is probably absent from their children's lives. Too many 'adults' today believe that a child should 'naturally develop', and they're just babysitting temporarily. These 'adults' tend to allow the government to supervise their children for more of it's natural life than the actual parents do. Some call this school.

It's usually a sign of a "wage-slave" family, "trying to make ends meet", where they are never present during their child's upbringing. I'd argue that's it's rare you would see a misbehaved child when the parents are present for most of his or her life. Physically hitting a child, or coming up with bizarre mental abuse punishment rituals (isolation, etc.), is the response from a parent that has failed to be a parent.

This is what happens with a country that destroys it's economy, and destroys the middle-class. It destroys families at their core, and disallows parents from spending time with their children, because they always have to work. Work, work work. Buy, buy, buy. Debt, debt, debt.

It's actually a 'rare' trait that a young adult actively chooses not to have a child until they are ready. Too many people have kids because "they feel they should", or simply because they can't help themselves. Most people live on a "breeding grid"... a glorified drone hive.

Originally posted by sdocpublishing
I agree 100% it is a Fathers right to smack the ass of his children, especially the boys.

I have never had a daughter, so I can't speak there but I smacked the ass of both my boys when they were young and with great results.

I didn't blacken their eyes, I didn't leave welts on their body, no bones were ever broken and blood was never shed.

I don't think that boys should be hit, as it could teach them to be violent with their wives. As a teen I was with a guy who was hit as a boy and he grew up and hit women. He also used to have a boat load of emotional problems and emotional pain from when his dad hit him.

Just because we cannot see bruises or welts on the outside, doesn't mean it's not affecting their soul, their emotions, or psyche.

What happens if your boys grow up and hit other people? What if they hit their wives?

Originally posted by dharvell
A lot of the against-spanking crowd seem to share a misconception: that the purpose of spanking is to cause harm or pain to the child being spanked. NOT TRUE!!! I am very much pro-spanking.

But it does cause pain. You hit someone on their body, it's going to hurt. And you are using pain as a means to get your way and control a situation. You teach the child that if they don't act the way you want them to, they are going to be in physical pain and that this pain will be visited on them again if they don't succumb to you. It's about control and power, really. Because you don't have time to sit down and talk things over and take a different standpoint, spanking is faster and easier. You can easily say "You are getting spanked for xyu" , spank, and be on with the day. Sad.

Originally posted by SyphonX
Any form of punishment, physical, or mental, is unacceptable.. in my opinion. That doesn't mean I believe "the law" should interfere. I believe the authorities shouldn't interfere unless in circumstances of actual abuse.

A child that is 'unruly' and doesn't respond to their parents, is a sign of a parent that is probably absent from their children's lives. Too many 'adults' today believe that a child should 'naturally develop', and they're just babysitting temporarily. These 'adults' tend to allow the government to supervise their children for more of it's natural life than the actual parents do. Some call this school.

It's usually a sign of a "wage-slave" family, "trying to make ends meet", where they are never present during their child's upbringing. I'd argue that's it's rare you would see a misbehaved child when the parents are present for most of his or her life. Physically hitting a child, or coming up with bizarre mental abuse punishment rituals (isolation, etc.), is the response from a parent that has failed to be a parent.

I remember my grandmother taking me to the store with her one day when I was a teen. We saw a woman slap her child repeatedly in the basket telling her child to shut up.

When we got to the car she was upset over this and she said, "Only trashy people slap their children, because they don't know any better".

So when I see people in public slapping their child I feel very embarrassed for them and their ignorance. My grandmother was very hard on people who would hit children though. She didn't like it at all because she was beaten as a child.

Originally posted by Thunder heart woman


I do NOT believe in getting physical with our children. It's disgusting, cruel, antiquated, abusive, ridiculous, and it makes you a BULLY.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Imagine being a small child looking up and seeing this towering adult over you getting physical with you. Yes I think it makes one a bully. A big bully at that.

Kids could use more of this these days.

When my dad would tell me to do something and I just blew him off, his boot would quickly connect with my ass and I knew he meant business. And I didn't grow up to be a serial killer. Never been arrested in my life, I have a good job and own a home.

You need to put the fear of God into your children when necessary. It can help keep them from turning into these a-holes from the UK riots.

I remember a time when I was young, maybe 10 or 11, I flipped off a neighbor just to see his reaction....He told my mom...Oh gosh.... I begged for a whipping instead of what she did, and that was restriction to my room..FOR A MONTH. After that month, any time I got into trouble, it was restriction to my room. I used to beg for a beating just to get it over with I remember.....

The outcome of it all by the time I moved out at 16 was......I naturally became a recluse. I still feel more comfortable indoors isolated and away from everyone reading a book. How normal is that? I have to work VERY hard in social situations. Was I abused? Yes, the abuse of isolation can at times be worse than a sore tail....

Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
MP's have said in the media this week that the UK riots where caused by the lack of physical discipline, not the lack of jobs, education and a decent family lifestyle.

The Tottenham MP David Lammy claimed that Labour's 2004 decision to tighten up the smacking law was partly to blame for last summer's riots, which erupted in his north London constituency.

m.guardian.co.uk...

For you yanks out there, it is against the law in Great Britain to smack (spank) your child, although I have never heard of someone being convicted of it.

Personally I am undecided somtimes I think children do need a smack every now and then, mainly for there own sake. Lets say my daughter puts her finger in the plug socket do I give her a little slap (on the hand) and say "no, don't touch or it will hurt worse than that." luckly i haven't had to yet, she is still to young to crawl.

I understand that we live in different times (hell, I got a leather belt if I was naughty) but a complete lack of physical discipline can't be good for a Childs development can it?

I don't know, it's a very touchy issue, what are your views.

ALS

edit on 29-1-2012 by ALOSTSOUL because: (no reason given)

What me and my wife did that worked very well was to make our children smack their own mouths. If they back sassed or did something else wrong we would tell them to "Smack your mouth" and if we felt they didn't do it hard enough we would tell them to do it again. I believe it more embarrassed them than hurt them. We started this while they were young and it resulted in us not having to punish them much as older children.

We also made them stand in a corner. I can tell you my children would rather have received a spanking than stand in the corner. They hated it. Again we did this while they were very young and they learned early to follow the rules.

All these people that are 100% against "HURTING' their children, despite a small smack that has no damage whatsoever are just plain ignorant. Seriously you people expect teachers and etc to deal with the "Im untouchable" idiocy that has become the view of teens today? Without discipline these people will grow up thinking they will only be told "No don't do that" whenever they do something wrong.

Seriously look at todays youth? They talk smack to everyone, only think of themselves and the first thing they want to do is whatever their not supposed to do.

No im not talking about hitting a child/teen into submission, and them being fearful... But firm words of "No do not do that" and if they backtalk like they have authority over their parents then warn them their not getting away with what they did and then a smack.

Yes little kids cannot fight a grown adult, but the point is that most adults know that its their children, and that discipline means a good kid when they grow up, and not that type of person everyone hates to be around.

If your so against smacking, then maybe you had a bad experience where the smacking was not just a simple "No" smack, but a big deal. Thats the line I draw with this. Smacking should not become a common thing, but something seldom used.

If you do not discipline your child, others will... Be it their teachers, other parents, etc or even the police. Think for a second that your precious child is going to be much more protected if they are not foul mouthed people who do not give a second thought about others and even worse will harm others just for talking about it.

Front leaning rest position, control balance stance in the middle of the room with arms out, if they drop below 45 degrees the egg timer starts over. There are alternatives to spanking.......and if standing in the corner dont do it, make em do it with their arms out holding a weighty object in each hand for 3 mins.

Sorry, Ive been reading the US Military control and interrogation technique handbook....LOL


Sounds good in theory.....I wouldn't recommend water boarding though...unless Cheney is in the room.....

This is all everyone should know... The first goes into scientific studies regarding spanking and what the effects are on children. The second one addresses comments that people have to try and justify spanking.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

One thing I NEVER do, I never make idle threats. If I threaten a spanking, and they disobey, no matter how comical it is, or how much I don't want to, I ALWAYS follow through on my threats. For that reason, I rarely threaten them. It took a long time to get that rule through the heads of my wife and mother-in-law. They were constantly making serious threats, and then they didn't want to follow through,

i hear you on the idle threats, my wife is the same way. we went to Disney last year and for the three months before every time my daughter would do the slightest thing wrong all i would hear from my wife was " we are not going to Disney" finally i had to tell her enough is enough ; they are never going to believe you if keep doing this

Originally posted by Starwise
I remember a time when I was young, maybe 10 or 11, I flipped off a neighbor just to see his reaction....He told my mom...Oh gosh.... I begged for a whipping instead of what she did, and that was restriction to my room..FOR A MONTH. After that month, any time I got into trouble, it was restriction to my room. I used to beg for a beating just to get it over with I remember.....

The outcome of it all by the time I moved out at 16 was......I naturally became a recluse. I still feel more comfortable indoors isolated and away from everyone reading a book. How normal is that? I have to work VERY hard in social situations. Was I abused? Yes, the abuse of isolation can at times be worse than a sore tail....

This raises an interesting point actually, you have to treat each child as an individual. My Mum quite rightly states that when I was little sending me to my room was a reward rather than a punishment, and therefore counter-productive. I had to work hard in social and even familial situations anyway, so exclusion was always a relief. But a month is a very long time in a child's life, I would have loved it, but would it have done me any good? It certainly didn't help you any, however would a beating really have been any better? And more importantly, as a parent, you have to make sure that the discipline tactics that you are using are effective in changing the behaviour that you are punishing, which is why there is no single solution. Each child is different, and if one type of punishment doesn't work, you need to be inventive and think about what will work. My child is very keen on getting his pocket money, so everytime he does something naughty he gets a deduction, when he does something without asking, or helps me in other ways, he gets a little extra. At nearly 9, he is starting to clear up after himself, fixes his own breakfast, and even makes me a cup of tea now and then (with kettle supervision). And in addition he is learning life skills and the value of money. It is very easy to take the short sharp route, but the further you go down the line, the harder it gets to instil the respect necessary to get them to do anything at all.

Originally posted by greeneyedleo

reply to post by greeneyedleo


Absolutely not. Do I come across as someone who lets anyone get away with anything?

My daughter is almost 8. I have never ever needed to hurt her. Never. She is a good kid and when she is acting up, I never lose control and I have alternative means of disciplining her.

I truly believe a lot of kids issues are..............the parents themselves....

edit on January 29th 2012 by greeneyedleo because: (no reason given)

Just read the 1st page as their are sooooo many. I have to disagree with your multiple posts (opinion). It is ok to physically discipline your kids. But of course their is a limit. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good kid like you. I know. My oldest is 4 (the trouble maker) & my youngest is 1 (good boy). Complete night & day difference in how they act. I seriously did not want anymore kids after my 1st one, that's how bad it was. It was to the point where my wife and I struggled with our marriage. Things have gotten better but not until I went "old school". A simple swat on the butt. Don't get me wrong....I try to avoid this as much as possible but there are times is warranted.

You also said "If I hit you, you would call the cops"...well that is a dumb analogy. Two adults have the knowing of being able to make things right. Kids don't know the difference between right & wrong at such a young age.

So yes my vote is spanking is ok. It's still the parents who make the choices and they need to use good discretion.