How do you feed someone who is always 'hungry'?

Mods: I'm not exactly sure this is the right forum, so feel free to move this.

Alright so I've been having this 'issue' lately. Its becoming sort of a dilemma of mine. I seem to be constantly attracting people who are emotionally 'hungry' and insatiable.

You shouldn't get the wrong idea, this isn't a relationship question per se. These are friends of mine. People I've met over the years. But recently almost always ALL of the 'friends' I make seem to be people: 1. with serious personal problems, 2. they're unintentionally always in need of my attention and are constantly demanding it.

But I wish that was the whole problem, it isn't. I'm a bit of an empath you see, and I feel their thoughts. Its always negative. I feel like they bombard me with negativity, even more so when I counteract it with positive thoughts.

The more I give to satisfy the 'hunger' or deep rooted 'emptiness' these friends have, the more their hunger grows. In time it turns into jealousy...and obsession even. I've seen it happen. It is scary.

So my question remains...I've tried everything I know. I've tried to counteract these insatiably 'hungry' souls with positivity, it doesn't work. I've tried consoling them with advice, they become more insatiable, I've tried cutting them off, but that I feel guilty.

What do I do? How does one counteract these type of people? I don't think they can be categorized as 'energy vamps' per se but they come pretty close.

To add some more information to my original question, I'm not trying to counteract these people for my own benefit. Its completely and utterly for THEIR own good. I wan't to put an end to the 'emptiness' inside of these people but its like a bottomless pit.
Any suggestions and experiences are welcome.

You probably attract them to you by being empathetic and helpful.
I've had to deal with similar people. It is a burden, especially if guilt is your thing.
My advice is to cut the bridges with whomever doesn't contribute to a friendship.
The interaction has to go two ways, and if it doesn't and never has, then the aren't real friends.
Sever the ties, and forget the guilt by understanding that this is what you need to do to upkeep you quality of life.

Just remember, some people go through times or may even be personally troubled, but still manage to bring something to a friendship (or have brought something in the past, but may now need some help to get over a hump) so they may in the future be a good friend again..

So, my advice, would to be to weed out the real friends, out of the other individuals who do nothing, but to suck out your energy.

Good luck.

What you're describing is standard psychic vampirism.

The Qabalistic Cross is your friend. Invoke whenever in the presence of psychic vampires, psychopaths, or general STS undesirables. I've been able to use it to great effect to deter energetic vampires in the past.

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram can also be used if you want to employ slightly heavier artillery.

Yeah, my friends have become a bunch of whining wuss bags also.
We're talking about some fairly successful guys too.
It almost seems like there is something causing people to be unhappy and needy.
Maybe some kind of mass hypnotic suggestion thing to make people feel they are in crisis all the time, making it easier to accept the ongoing crisis situation we've been in for years.
Terrorism, global warming, mortgage, hunger, financial, banking blah blah blah crisis.
And yet NASCAR drivers still get paid millions to drive a car.
And yet NFL players still get paid millions to run around a field.
And yet pop musicians still get paid millions to sing songs any 12 year old could write.
And yet the politicians still wear thousand dollar suits.
And yet corporations are posting record profits.

reply to post by nusnus


All you can do is give them their own seeds to plant a garden to satisfy thier own hunger.

You can give them tools too.

What they decide to do with what you offer, from there on out is thier choice.

If that fails, be blunt, and be honest about them being emotional leeches you can no longer deal with.

I always try to help everyone but last year I finally realized that I need to help myself too and letting go of people like that really makes a difference. There were 2 in my case and they only made me feel more depressed (I was still getting over my divorce then).
I still feel guilty from time to time but you have to think of yourself too, no matter how selfish it sounds/feels.

Besides, how can you be there for others, who just have a bad day/period, when you can't be there for yourself too?

reply to post by TeroK


That there is good advice TeroK, and its not like I haven't done it when push came to shove.

but if the lesson I was meant to learn was a simple: no, then I wouldn't be constantly faced with these people.

Since I know life sends lessons your way when you haven't learnt what you're supposed to.

I've learned to say no over the years. To stop someone from 'milking' my energies so to speak. But there is a message there, something else I cannot decipher. Something I'm missing and I can't seem to put my finger on it.

What is it? What am I missing?

reply to post by petrus4


That there is stuff I've never actually had to try. All I ever do is simply 'Ask' politely and wait and it's done.

However, I like looking at whats beyond the surface.

The surface may very well be a psychic vampire, but there is something else in there, something you don't notice initially. I can sense it. So when I sense it, what I need to do changes. I can't treat these people with the same way I treat superficiality....theres something else there..

reply to post by nusnus


I will feed someone who is hungry? Sure.......

Will I feed someone who is always hungry, but does nothing to make things better for himself. other than just be hungry" Nope.............

.

It's never about others. It is always about your self.

Let's be dead honest: You are dragging a bunch of dead people through your life and that will sooner or later break you. Simple as that. You have exactly the same "problem" now that they have all the time: You are in the perceived victim position. As you have experienced whatever you do they don't go away. There's only one way to help them but you are afraid to do that because if you do it you feel "guilty". That's a test how far you go. It's ego nothing more. The ego tries to hold you in the manipulated system of "YOU can help others", "YOU have to play nice", "others need YOU", "If YOU don't help them YOU are a bad person" etc.

Ask yourself: Another person is unable to get along in his life and it is YOUR fault? Do you have a document saying you are responsible for other people's life? Would be fair to get half of their income then as you have to do half their living.

Why feel guilt then?

I cannot tell you which way works best for you but I can tell you how it works for me. People around me know I am honest as #. I mean it. They know they can ask me anything and I will give a honest answer. I will not cuddle them but I hold the frying pan of truth in my hand ready to strike. They know I am honest and expect the no less from them. So what happens? Only those that found their balls in their trousers and really want a true answer to change or/and advance on their path will come to me. They know what they get and they want to take it. First timers get the benefit of the question "Do you want a nice answer or the truth?" and they get both so they can see the difference. Those that know that they are far under that level and still need their "problems" because they have nothing else in their live won't come near me.

"Psychic vampires" is nothing more than an allegory but it fits. What's the most important feature of vampires?

They must be invited to your house/you. If they are not let in by you by your free will they cannot drain your energy.

Namaste,

Deckard666

reply to post by Deckard666


You're honest and spot on Deckard666.

And I may come to you for a taste of the pan of truth later as well however..

the portion of me that leads me to such situations is partially my ego...the other part...is a big unknown...

i feel it...its not just my overgrown hero complex ..its something else...but i can't see it...im not objective enough

but thank u

reply to post by nusnus


If you feel that they are still coming to you, then it may be a few things.
Like someone already suggested, being blatantly honest, get those to stick around who can stand it and other wade off. What this would imply is a change in your personal frequencies, so to say. A different attitude, a different strut down the walk. You may try this, see if indeed your new wavelength is responded to in a different way, less complainers, more true friends.

You may also want to try to identify, what type of leeches are attracted to you, when and where they attract to you and what mood you are in when they first meet you. Look for any patterns.

One other option is that, If you think there's a reason as to why people come to you, then maybe you need to alter your response/advice.

Originally posted by nusnus
but there is something else in there, something you don't notice initially. I can sense it. So when I sense it, what I need to do changes. I can't treat these people with the same way I treat superficiality....theres something else there..

I suspect what you are detecting, is what I referred to earlier as the energetic polarity of Service to Self. I'd suggest looking at the link on that subject, which I included in my previous reply. It may offer you some additional insight.

reply to post by nusnus


Give you a tip, don't do what I did and try to "help"

Focus on yourself, however difficult it may be to ignore others, I promise you.

I have unwillingly attracted these kinds of people for reasons I suspect that others have detailed. People seem to think I have an intrinsic wisdom, yet often I feel it is just peoples' unwillingness to help themselves, and thus they feel the need to constantly, and unexpectedly drop the next concern of their conveyer belts of woe upon me. It's emotionally deadening. It is only natural to help and empathise, but these are people who will never change until they decide to, and as long as they have someone to mindlessly offload on, they will not.

reply to post by nusnus


There are two things you must ugently do!

You must meditate. You must sheild yuorself.

It is easy and it takes 2 minutes a day. When you go to bed, lie still for 1 or 2 minutes and see in your minds eye all the links between you and the people arround you as bright lines of light. All the through the day, as an empath, you are making links to people. See them all in your minds eye. Now see St Michael coming to you with his sward and cutting all of these links for you. All them - cut away so you are allone with your own mind. (You can do simmilar in the shower, which is a great place for cleaning away unwanted energies)

Meditate for 5 minutes each morning, or before you go out. You need to put a sheild up arround you before you go out and meet people. that way you can choose and limit what energies connect to you. You can stop that feeling of other people, without loosing your understanding, or even your empathy to any degree. You just sheild yourself so that you only feel your own feelings. It takes a while to get good at it. Everyone sees their sheild in their own way. Some see a large golden egg shape arround them, others white light surrrounds them like the readybrek kid. Find your sheilds. I spin circles of light arround me. It is amazing the diference it makes NOT picking up all those draining connections, and negative emotions.

The reason people are attracted to people like you (And me) are becasue you are the source of an energy. A connection to something good, and people can feel that, they feel healing just being neer you. Or they get it without realising it. But one thing they do know - being arround you makes their life a little bit better. Once you learn to live with people more comfortably, feeling less of their emotions and more of your own, this will make you feel good too.

I would also very strongly reccomend getting some reiki. Once you have your energy under better control, and your sheilds working, you will be able to just get on enjoying life, helping poeple out - which lets face it you obviously like doing, you stuck with it this far even though your fed up with the negativity.

It took me many many years to realise it was wierd feeling everyone elses feelings. And a few more years on top of that to figure out how not to. If I had sorted all this out 20 years sooner life would have been sooooo different!

Good Luck.

PM me with a number between 1 and 52 if you want more details.

reply to post by nusnus

To add some more information to my original question, I'm not trying to counteract these people for my own benefit. Its completely and utterly for THEIR own good. I wan't to put an end to the 'emptiness' inside of these people but its like a bottomless pit.
Any suggestions and experiences are welcome.

It is hard to tell what you mean by 'feeding'. Can you give examples?

You are most likely feeding them the wrong thing. Emptiness is the result of being fed by the fruit of the world. In the Hebrew tradition, we all have a desire to fill the void opened up inside us by God. If the void is filled with the correct spiritual truth, it opens further to receive more light. Each time it is filled, fulfillment accompanies the reception of truth and lives are transformed. Joy is the result. The fruit of the spirit is a hunger and thirst for righteousness. In most cases, actions speak louder than words when interacting with the people around us.

Actions that produce envy are opposite from truth.

Galatians 5

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Originally posted by nusnus
reply to post by Deckard666

 

You're honest and spot on Deckard666.

sage advice...

being an enabler might also fit your unwanted position (unwanted, after there are too many pressures put upon you)


what may work... give yourself the Title of 'Life-Coach'
inform these emotional parasites that there ain't no free lunches any more...
a $50 charge per 50 minute session would break the emotional vampires from coming
to your former 'Lunch Counter' & hanging out longer than is customary
~and then leaving their 'mess' without even leaving a tip. !

i think the metaphor works well in the situation.

besides you will be keeping folders on your clients which can be used in your research and still remain confidential like in a Doctor-Patient relationship.

reply to post by nusnus


i am always hungry! literally!!
but, i have never burden anyone with my hunger...
i do not eat much... because i know that no matter how much eat i will still remain hungry!
i'm a 36 years old male who is only 105 ponds
i love to eat... and i love to cook... but, what gives me a better satisfaction is when i feed others!!
i would always share my food with friends and/or strangers even if they are not so hungry!
as for spiritual or emotional food (your topic)... that's even 100 times more intense in the same way!
the more food i give away (physical, spiritual, or emotional)... the more i become satisfied, full, and happy!

instead of thinking to yourself "poor me... everyone is feeding from me" you should look at it as a blessing!!!
because the more food you give away to needy people 10 times fold or more comes back your way

your problem is within you, yourself, and your perception of the world!

change yourself and your understandings of the world in a more positive way...
if and when you do so, then you will become happier...
you will also gain unlimited food supply for you to use and give away

very truly yours,
emil.

To feed someone who is always hungry,if feed them only cause them more hungry, better let them hungry and feel the hunger. Offer them some water might good for them.
If you feel people like these 'attracted' to you, it might have something underneath it. Something to learn, something to fix or something to grow within yourself.

Sometimes the want to help and 'fix' other might fire back to yourself. The hunger wasnt your responsibility nor under your ability to fullfill it. Sometimes just being present to your friends might the best thing to do, not to help them or to fix them, but to let them grow and move on in comfort with your present.

You said you feel they bombard you with negativity, and you cant counteract it with your positive thought. Their negativity was a result from the way they view their own self, and you cant counteract it. When you feel they bombard you with their negativity, it show something within yourself need to be made, to be fix, to be grow, to strengthen or to remove.
For you to find what it is and you might find the answer from these friends even you might need to look at them in mirrored.

These condition sometimes looks hard for you, maybe most of the time, but you are who you are. The way you are, what you become and what you got might show the purpose of yourself in society. But not too worry about that. It is not a bad thing. A light will always needed by people who still trapped in the dark. If you can catch the fish and leave the water clean, later not only a light, but few lights will surrounding this light.

Peace