Guys, a Survival Guide to Watching "Eat, Pray Love" With Your Lady...

So, its friday night and your girl is about to drag you to the cinema for the two hours of pure man hell that is Eat, Pray, Love.. You have endured the conversations about the book which in itself made you start to feel the urge to buy new shoes or jump head first out the window.. Now comes the real horror... They turn the damn thing into a film!

You know that the test of your relationship is comming, and if you dont pass it, then no sex for you for at least six months.. So its time to man up and go to watch a girly film..

Prepare first by watching espn for at least 24 hours before the film. This should keep the testoterone levels in check , otherwise you will have boobs by the end of the film and start thinking about buying new drapes.
If espn is not available then insist on going for a meal first. This will give you the opportunity to numb yourself with alcohol before the movie.. A good alcohol buzz will shield you against the estrogen dripping off the screen. Also cupping your balls with your hands at the same time will act as a secondary shield and stop them dropping off...

These are just two sure fire ways that I know will keep your manhood and relationship intact through such a horror show and stop you from walking out the cinema with a vagina and a crush on the lead man.

However if you do survive, keep in mind that your other half will take from the movie an unrealistic, hollywood ideal of romance and you will be judged by those impossible standards. Either way you are screwed so you may just forget everything i said and just get the boobs and the giney coz you cant win..

If you cant beat em then join em...

Unless you have suggestions???

Just listen to Carnivore's first album before and after and you should be good



Thank god, I don't have a girlfriend right now though.

But this is how I got through Mama Mia

Every time one of those stupid songs broke out, I would just start the singing the chorus/lyrics to myself, and it defiantly helped!!!

reply to post by nick_napalm

Agghhh MAMMA MIA!

My left nut still hasnt descended after watching that! But that was also combined with my girls buying a Gilmore Girls box set and having to sit through a marathon... A very cruel and unusual punishment!

Originally posted by Yissachar1
But that was also combined with my girls buying a Gilmore Girls box set and having to sit through a marathon... A very cruel and unusual punishment!

The above, and the fact that she dragged you to see that movie...

You've done something to piss her off and just haven't realized it yet, dude.


-TheAssoc.

The real method....get your wife to go see it with her girlfriends...not YOU!

That's what I did for all those damn Twilight movies, and this is right there with 'em, hehe.....

Just playing devils advocate.
Ever think that there may be something to the book and the movie?
Perhaps to understand a woman and her needs is to gain her love and affection which in turn = more sex

reply to post by photobug

Perhaps to understand a woman and her needs is to gain her love and affection which in turn = more sex

There is no perhaps, that statement is true. (Good news)
However, whether or not the book/movie is the avenue by which to do that, is by no means guaranteed. (Bad news)

*I've not read the book, nor have I seen the movie, so I can't comment further...

Originally posted by LadySkadi
reply to post by photobug

 

Perhaps to understand a woman and her needs is to gain her love and affection which in turn = more sex

There is no perhaps, that statement is true. (Good news)
However, whether or not the book/movie is the avenue by which to do that, is by no means guaranteed. (Bad news)

*I've not read the book, nor have I seen the movie, so I can't comment further...

All joking aside I agree hence the reason why I read the book and will endure the film.. I can reccomend the book, however I think the author herself is a little spoilt and self indulgent.. Indeed I do secretly like Gilmore girls too, ans when Lorilai two timed Luke with Christoher it put me in a mood for days lol! Please tell no one!

Most guys like a girly flick and get "something in my eye" watching them but damnnn, i drew the line at sex and the city the movie.. I had to watch every game of the soccer world cup to get over that!

Originally posted by Yissachar1


However if you do survive, keep in mind that your other half will take from the movie an unrealistic, hollywood ideal of romance and you will be judged by those impossible standards. Either way you are screwed so you may just forget everything i said and just get the boobs and the giney coz you cant win..

If you cant beat em then join em...

Unless you have suggestions???

When two people know
each other heart to heart- theres no problem sharing movies, sports days,
whatever, because that crap just doesn't have any bearing, its not as
fearful to our senses, these other physical and mental emotional stimulants
do not become a deterrance. So at first glance MEN- Don't go screaming
if you see she is indulging in CHICK flicks and what not, or else your level
of discernment needs a tune up. In other words, for some people this shiz
is just what it iz and no more. People sometimes over evaluate women/men
activities, but we as well do not want to miss out, by appearances from
the outside in when we haven't spent much time with someone.

So simply said, not all women are going to be judging by impossible standards.
Same as men that watch sports, they aren't all idiots.
And if thats as far as we can look we'll see our self close to out of luck surrounded
by all of this encompassing BS. We are the ones that give any
entertainment worth, and of what worth. And there is no person
on earth that does not indulge in some kind of entertainment, period.

So leave the boobs alone unless they're hers.

If I have to (or want to) watch a "chick flick", I'd rather do it at home. Then, if it's not to my liking, I can just change the channel. There are some that are actually pretty good (either good story, acting, sets, costuming, etc., etc.)....but I don't want to be trapped in a theater if it isn't.

I watched the first Twilight at home, and man, I would have likely walked out of that film. It was really pretty slow and boring until she found out, and neither main character is likable. The vamp family was actually made up of much more interesting characters, that got almost no screen time. (and the only way vamps should "sparkle" in the sunlight is right before they go up in flames...)

I hear the second and third (I think) is supposed to be better, but haven't brought myself to find out yet...hehe...