Inside the mind of a schizophrenic

Originally posted by rlnochance
On the subject of reality:

Reality is nothing more than your perspective on actuality.

once you understand that truth as a schizophrenic you can really tend to understand how reality is not necessarily true and as such is skewed by your own views. Moreover your reality will ALWAYS differ from someone else's. They are like fingerprints, unique to each person.

Your goal, should be to stay as close to actuality as possible, without straying too far into imagination. Once you plot that trajectory, it's very difficult to swing it back.

Reality is just a matter of perspective.
And reality is created by the very fact of knowing.

The one and only time I've ever used all caps on the internet:

GET A PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS

Do you seriously believe you're qualified to diagnose yourself as schizophrenic? :shk:

reply to post by Astyanax


What good would that do if it appears to be true?

Guy doesen't want to spend his life in an institution now does he?

He want's to fight what he see's coming and he's come here for advice.

reply to post by CodyOutlaw


Much agree'ed! I was diagnosed with schizophria at the age of 17, with Bi polar disorder, and a whole slew of other things.. When in the end, they just don't know what the heck is wrong with me.. I didn't know either, until I got a little older to understand, those people in their lab coats really don't have a clue about what is going on in our minds.
Point of view and what not..
I wish I had more time to get into all this, but I wanted to make a quick note in here so I could find this thread after work..
OP, I will get with you this evening, and I will fully read your thread, and reply to you from the heart.. I know what its like man..
And don't let them tell you, that you are all messed up!
Schizophria is a fancy name, for saying, Umm We are not sure whats wrong with you!!

33 now, and I hold a job, have my life in order for the most part. Enjoy my life, and I no longer have any real issues!

There are so many things that can attribute to mental issues. And most of them have to do with growing up in an abusive home, or a stressful family life.. Love life going wrong, Or money issues..
So many things stem from these issues.. And rarely do they stem from our own mind. Outside the mind can affect our inner minds more so than what is going on inside there.. Remember that OP..

And CodyOutlaw.. Buddy, You have it right!! heh

Great idea for a thread, but if I was to guess, you’re going to get more than you bargained for. Everybody is going to have some advice. I just hope people can try and be as sincere as you seem to be NewlyAwakened.

My father suffered from the condition, before serious drugs were developed. In the early 1940’s, he was subjected to electro-shock “therapy”. I guess he was lucky they didn’t lobotomize him. He went to Korea, which didn’t “help” either, and began drinking alcohol to take the sharp edge off of his reality. Then he found "AA".

It was a turning point for him, in various ways that I think can almost apply to anyone going through such a thing, regardless of whether they have addictions or not. Alcoholics Anonymous has their famous “12 step” program. No, I never really got into it, but my Dad would sometimes drag me to meetings, and I was exposed to the ideas.

Basically, their motto as I recall it, says a lot by itself, “To thine own self be true.” The “Steps” take a person through sort of a reality check on the practical aspects of life, as it’s actually lived. For example, you mention people you’ve hurt, well, they have a step to deal with it, because everyone hurts people (including ourselves, usually most of all). Each person essentially tries to look at their own lives, and then go forward with “maintenance” aspects being part of the program as well.

There are various “12 Step” programs out there now, and you don’t have to do drugs or drink to benefit. The steps apparently got some inspiration from the reflections of a “saint”, who wrote down his “spiritual exercises”. No, I’m not religious, and probably not spiritual much either, but there is a lot of what I would call “common sense” here that anyone can benefit from, IMO.

"SERVICE"...As for my Dad, he’s been dead for years, but managed to die “sober”, in spite of the VA hospital getting their hands on him in his final months, with all their wild drugs. He actually became sort of an AA “guru”, he knew many of the “big names” in that organization personally. I guess you could say he found what he needed to maintain his sanity, but if we could distill what that was, down to one word, he would have probably said, “service”. That is, service to others in need. Not merely out of some do-gooder, or “religious” kind of motive, but because service seems to be one of the best ways for anybody to get out of their own heads for a bit. We all need a vacation now and then, don’t we?

And so, since my “advice” wouldn’t be worth much, I sort of felt that maybe Dad’s would be a bit more on point for you, since he had the same malady.

I wish you and others who suffer as you do my sincere best wishes. Good luck on this thread, and I hope to enjoy learning more as I come back to read what folks are saying.

JR

I guess observing logic is kind of watching fractals open and
open... and at a point you dont know if it is a reflection of a
perspective or the mirror effect in progress... the abyss gaze
at you comes to mind.

I hope you overcome this issue by being a master of your own
reality and learn from this to help other people in the same
situation.

Consider a big big hug from me!

RP

Originally posted by xspinx
reply to post by SeekerofTruth101

 

Humans once believed that the earth was flat. That idea was correct and true for them, but for us that idea is not correct nor true. Killing the innocent, hmm... true innocence is lack of knowledge, so by lacking knowledge they do not "miss" anything that was taken from them, even the life itself. Only you with the knowledge "miss" the innocents.( you can't miss something you did not know to exist)
So after the example with the flat earth, you simple logic you can understand that "reality" varies from one point of view to another, as we get more data about the "reality" the more and more the "reality" changes.
Reality is just a matter of perspective.
And reality is created by the very fact of knowing.

[edit on 2-7-2010 by xspinx]

Perhaps I am a lousy writer, and you may had missed my point.

There are many misconceptions of science and tech since even mankind began. Your example of flat theory while 'true' and the 'ignorance' that had entralled many was equally true, so too does my theory that our ancestors knew much better than during the dark ages, a time that knowledge was suppressed as we know it today.

It was after the 16th century that free man began to question our very existance, with their freedom and their united power due to their skill and contributions that those who seek to enslave mankind could no longer suppress.

It was then that mankind's enlightenment began, and the renewed re - comprehension of what our ancestors had taught and passed down, that we are experiencing today, even as TPTB attempted through various means to keep us stupid.

There is yet far more knowledge that mankind has yet to aquired, to be discarded and accepted, but the very basics of a civilised society for humanity will NEVER change, as is not to supposed to change if we are to avoid extinction as a species. And is that, that my point lays as is my concept of rationalizing issues within a diverse group to keep our sanity grounded.

Peace..

Well OP heres a checklist I can give you from just before I became schizophrenic,
1.are you depressed?
2.have you changed your social behaviour,especially withdrawal
3.have you changed your sleep or eating patterns
4.do you have suspiciousness or feelings people are talking about you
5.has your self care deteriorated
6.has your school or work performance changed
7.are you weak,do you lack energy
8.do you have headaches or strange head sensations
9.have your relationships with friends/family changed
10.Yes you have admitted confused,strange or bizarre thinking but being slightly delusional does not make you a schizophrenic.

You have not really stated any full onset systems and may of misdiagnosed yourself in any event if your worried or think theres a problem its time to seek help,before it gets worse.

reply to post by anglodemonicmatrix

Got all but #8. Well #8 too after a drinking binge

reply to post by NewlyAwakened

As I said its probably time to see someone before you get worse and beware of drinking to self medicate-not a good look with schizophrenia.

reply to post by Mr Zeropoint

What good would that do if it appears to be true?

Perhaps very little. But it will do a great deal of good if his self-diagnosis turns out to be wrong.

Guy doesen't want to spend his life in an institution now does he?

They only do that to violent schizophrenics these days.

He want's to fight what he see's coming and he's come here for advice.

A big, big mistake. Who here is qualified to give him advice? Other schizophrenics?

*

reply to post by anglodemonicmatrix

Well OP heres a checklist I can give you from just before I became schizophrenic,
1.are you depressed?
2.have you changed your social behaviour,especially withdrawal
3.have you changed your sleep or eating patterns
4.do you have suspiciousness or feelings people are talking about you
5.has your self care deteriorated
6.has your school or work performance changed
7.are you weak,do you lack energy
8.do you have headaches or strange head sensations
9.have your relationships with friends/family changed
10.Yes you have admitted confused,strange or bizarre thinking but being slightly delusional does not make you a schizophrenic.

You have not really stated any full onset systems and may of misdiagnosed yourself in any event if your worried or think theres a problem its time to seek help, before it gets worse.

Exactly. A star for your advice, sir or ma'am, even though I think you may be inadvertently reinforcing the OP's delusion with that list of yours.

No checklist list of symptoms is sufficient for an exhaustive diagnosis of schizophrenia. There are medical tests to be conducted, too. These things should be left to professionals. Their prescriptions may not do much good, but lay advice is always bound to be worse. And after all, if xspinx doesn't like the doctor's proposed course of treatment he doesn't have to follow it.

Trying to diagnose and deal with schizophrenia on one's own is definitely crazy - crazier than being schizophrenic in the first place, frankly.

an illogical obsession with the pursuit of logic.

possible new health profession.

an 'illogical' obsession with the pursuit of logic.

possible new NWO ploy and denigrative term to dumb down the awakened masses.

[edit on 3-7-2010 by SeekerofTruth101]

reply to post by SeekerofTruth101


i couldnt be more awake bud, sorry if i choose to go outside and appreciate the things im fighting for.

if your not wakin up with some good in your life, im not going to follow that revolution.

dude, # schizophrenia, there's no such thing. try laughing, thinking of things that do not matter nor make sense at all, drink a beer or two, play a video game, and try to make yourself think of something different every .33 seconds, never dwell. don't worry about anything, you're alive, # society, # the government, and # the people who have a problem with anything they can't do anything about, that's their problem, also, they say marijuana can help the onset of it, but if it doesn't exist, then ... smoke up. everyone is potentially
"insert mental disorder here", it's just a niche to fill, so there is a job industry for psychiatry/chology. and that IS the truth, if you aren't out murdering folks or raping babies you should be a ok.

Excellent thoughts about the heaven&hell thing in relation to your true feelings and the possible eternal afterlife.

I myself have lately been having some thoughts similar to you, especially the fact that on some level i have started question my sanity. For instance i tend to find daily events somehow reflecting my life. For instance some tv show i watch may seem to reflect the themes what i have recently gone through in my life. Currently it is only a realization of patterns, but i will start to worry the moment i start to believe in such things.

Maybe i tend to analyze too much :/

[edit on 7/3/2010 by above]

Consider the significance of misperceptions and how they turn us inside out. How can we draw proper conclusions if square one is based on a misperception? It isn't totally about mental processing and what we perceive as logic. There are many aspects of life that aren't amenable to logical analysis, and logical analysis for these things will lead us to total confusion. You can't rationally build your entire approach to reality on a mental foundation. Learn about your own misperceptions. You have them, you know? Everybody does. You sound like you're spinning your wheels in a very deep rut. Mental illness is behavorial AND genetic. Science does know that much. Isn't real insanity repeating the same behavoir and expecting a different outcome. It's time to peel the onion down one layer at a time and rebuild yourself from the ground up. You obviously have the mind to do such a thing. Find the Heart to get it done, and take your time. A lifetime of misperception isn't fixed in a day.

Originally posted by above
Excellent thoughts about the heaven&hell thing in relation to your true feelings and the possible eternal afterlife.

I myself have lately been having some thoughts similar to you, especially the fact that on some level i have started question my sanity. For instance i tend to find daily events somehow reflecting my life. For instance some tv show i watch may seem to reflect the themes what i have recently gone through in my life. Currently it is only a realization of patterns, but i will start to worry the moment i start to believe in such things.

Maybe i tend to analyze too much :/

[edit on 7/3/2010 by above]

Haha! I've done that! Actually I briefly took up smoking (to take some of the edge off). I've since quit, but shortly after I took it up the oil spill happened, and so the connection I made was between the smoke poisoning my body and the oil spill poisoning the earth. Then I started to worry that I was the only thing that was real and the whole world was a reflection of what I was doing myself.

Luckily I quickly discarded that connection as insane. :-)

Glad I'm not alone.

Originally posted by NewlyAwakened
[...continued]

I started reading the Bible, found plenty to scare me and make me think I was still hellbound. Surprise, surprise. I became a train wreck again.

...The realization is that this is a never-ending cycle...

You also mentioned you went through an "atheist phase", so you are probably already familiar with much of the arguments against the concept of "hell".

But obviously you continue to embrace the idea, even if you're not entirely convinced it is real.

I too had a Christian background, and thankfully, I was able to discard it mainly due to the absurd notion of "hell". Now I do realize that this is a "faith" sort of thing, so I would always want to tread lightly, but in my own search, one thing I consistently ran across were people who were literally being "driven mad" by this hell thing. So, I think it is relevant, and worth bringing up, if for no other reason than because it has been commonly reported as an issue concerning mental health.

It also seems that once a person successfully overcomes it, healthier mental attitudes follow. I tend to think that has been my own personal experience anyway.

Of course, if we take a hard look at the concept, it's by definition the worst conceivable destiny for an individual (!). A ton of fear built right in to it! And even if we happened to be very brave, and cared not about our own situations, we all have many people in our lives that we care about. So, the "hell" idea puts a serious whammy on everything.

And that's some serious over-hang on anybody! How does a person go on, rationally, if they hold on to a truly "diabolical" notion like that, somewhere in their paradigm?

I'm not sure it can be done. Here's something to maybe think about. While it may be true that millions say they believe in "hell", in fact, upon closer examination, they actually do NOT believe in it! Wouldn't that be a source of relief, to discover that all these rather "sane" Christians (and other groups), do not "really" believe in the (shall we say) "crazy" notion of hell after all (even if they think they do). It would explain a whole lot.

Here's an example. Mama's boy isn't "saved". Or, the way a Catholic might put it, a person is "in mortal sin", etc. Any way you slice it, a particular person, let's say someone we care about, they are considered "hell-bound" (one of your terms). And then they die!

Let's look at what really happens. Mama is in deep grief, and it may be made worse by her thoughts about her boy's fate, but mostly, when it's over, what we saw was just regular grief. Only the psychotic person would allow the thing to make them crazy as time went on.

Here's the twist. From a truly "christian" perspective, this is exactly what "should" happen. "If" you truly believed that a person dear to you was in hell, life "should" become unbearable. Think about it. As an example, let's substitute "hell" for a big pot of hot water in a giant fireplace (or something). Inside your house! With your loved one inside! Everyday, you just go about your business? They are in the pot! How can you live at all, as a decent moral person even, let alone one who loves that individual??

But life largely just goes on. Why really? Here's the key: Because no one actually believes in such a preposterous notion as "hell", when it comes down to being faced with the reality of life, as it actually happens. Sure, we could all just chalk it up to "out of sight, out of mind", but that wouldn't cut it with a lot of people.

In fact, I would even dare advance the idea that if any of us truly ever loved another, the idea of a "hell" where they might go, would be seen for what it is. It's what the ancient nobles and philosophers acknowledged was important to "govern" the unruly mob, through creating fear in them, but beyond that, there was certainly no reality to it. Read what the ancients had to say about it, it might help some.

I know this isn't a real "theological" argument, people will gladly step forward and shout, "What about Free Will!", and all that, but I hope you see my point. I would even venture to say, at some level, the very extreme notion of hell is literally absurd to our subconscious, even if outwardly we constantly attempt to remind ourselves of the contrary.

I hope that was treading lightly enough, I certainly do not want to denigrate anyone's beliefs, but it does seem to perhaps be an important issue (maybe even central) in your case, aside from the physical and genetic components that no one would deny.

Last thing. As earth-shattering of a paradigm shift as this would be for many, it doesn't mean we have to go to some other extreme, not at all. Can you still believe in Jesus? Why not? The Bible? There are some out there who do, and can show you their "scriptural" explanations about the hell passages. Can we still believe in God? Absolutely! In fact, He might not be so "mean" anymore! We might finally get to know a "grown-up" God, not that petty ancient character most of us learn about as kids.

Good luck buddy. I really don't think it has to be a "never-ending cycle..."

JR

One thing I've been thinking about..

Mental health problems in the west are on the rise. Could it be that the society has become so infected, that deep thinkers, who understand and see what's going on around them are unable to fit into the society? We're out of harmony.

If the world is lead by psychopaths (as stated in another thread), doesn't that mean the world has gone/will go mental? What you reap is what you saw. When distracted from the natural behavioral patterns, people start to get these very nasty side effects.

It's just a theory.