No Ma'am!

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/dbf7240bc9ad.jpg[/atsimg]

For far too long us men have been under the thumb of oppression by the female gender! Us men have been oppressed for far too long! It's time to rise up, take a stand for what is right! It's time to say "No Ma'am!"

We men have suffered for far too long! No longer shall we stand idly by while women rule our lives! "Put the seat down" "Clean your mess" "Don't give us a Dutch oven"

I say dammit if there is a sporting event on we should be allowed to watch it! I say if there is beer to be drank we should be able to drink it!

We men have our rights! It's time we take them back!

Somebody call the
t4toby.files.wordpress.com...

I'll be going out to the mall now. Dinner and drinks with the girls.
There's a TV dinner in the freezer, and sorry but somehow the remote got broken today..dunno how that could have happened.
~toodles~

Do you see the oppression Men?

Do you see what they do to us?

Now men, it's time we re learned what it is to be a man. I present to you lesson 1...

reply to post by whatukno


Does a cast Iron frying pan mean anything to you?

reply to post by AccessDenied


Thanks for reminding me, I need to get my husband a new apron and dust pan while I'm at the mall..... they want and they want.

reply to post by AccessDenied

Does a cast Iron frying pan mean anything to you?

Yes, yes it does, and this brings me to a very important lesson for you guys out there. Domestic battery works both ways.

Now I am going to let you in on a little secret. You can have a woman arrested for domestic battery without being arrested yourself. I have done this. It's actually quite simple.

All you have to do is not fight back. A woman in a fit of rage may strike you, say with a cast iron frying pan. Ignore your natural instinct to defend yourself men, instead, run away, run away to the nearest cop you can find.

Here is the key to this too. No matter how angry you are, do not approach the house, stand behind the cop car, keeping the cop car between you and your home, have them go in and talk to the woman. She will undoubtedly be still angry, but if you have not touched her in any way, she will be lead out of the house in handcuffs leaving you alone in the house safe and sound and able to sleep as god meant for you. Naked.

reply to post by whatukno


*Rising Against Goes Hmmm, Nods head and begins taking notes*

Ok Wukky..I'll support your efforts.
I'll even post this video to celebrate your new found freedom.
~evil giggles~

reply to post by whatukno


Are the meetings held here?

/where'd my post go? the vid. disappeared.
/oh well... continue without me...
:shk:

[edit on 16-4-2010 by LadySkadi]

The RULES:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(1) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(2) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(3) After wrecking your boss' car.
(4) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(1) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(2) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(3) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

Rules are subject to change without notice or when we run out of beer.

[edit on 4/16/2010 by whatukno]

reply to post by AccessDenied


That's so COLD! :shk:

reply to post by whatukno

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

I would like to add to that:

27 (b): The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "Anything is fine, I just want to spend time with you" gets an Xbox. End of story.

TheAssoc.

Well then..you boys just go about your little He-man women haters meeting.
I'll be out and about with a REAL MAN.
Enjoy...

Extremely lucky lady whom Signals graced with his presence: Can I drive this time?

Signals: NO MA'AM







[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/470da9dc6f21.gif[/atsimg]


[edit on 17-4-2010 by Signals]

Men, don't you understand that women outnumber us at least 2 to 1 on this planet?

There are at least two women to every man on this earth? Oh they know this. They are keenly aware of this, but they refuse to accept that we are the ones that should be chased.

I say it's high time that all men across the globe go on strike!

We should refuse all their requirements on us till our demands are met!

Originally posted by whatukno
Men, don't you understand that women outnumber us at least 2 to 1 on this planet?

There are at least two women to every man on this earth? Oh they know this.

Actually, as the planet approaches the 7 billion population point, there are 102 men for every 100 females based on UN figures from the 2008 population statistics.

Even with men having a shorter lifespan than women, the guys outnumber the girls, and have since the boom years after the second world war and the killing of female children in China and India.


Oh, and am I the only one that suspects AD has a set of brass balls.
As tiny and slim as she is, I wouldn't want to try and take her in a fight.:shk:


And as for #28, I watch.
Plus the diving & swimming, but only because they wear speedo suits.

Listen, men, it is a fact that we will never rid ourselves of women, (after all, they do look too good)

So we must do the next best thing...

Send them to Wife School....



Turn your wife from this: (which is what happens to EVERY man in a marriage)



To THIS!



Where life is good!


[edit on 4/17/2010 by whatukno]