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A beautiful forty year old New Yorker confessed to me that she wants to kill herself and was saving sleeping pills to do the job. She came to the city a decade ago to make it big in her work, did very well for ten years, but then the recession hit. She is deeply in debt, has no one, is alienated from a dysfunctional family that made her heart sore a decade ago, so there's no going back to them. She lives in a little one room apartment in a borough of the big, anonymous city. To her mind, Death is better than facing the four walls of her cul-de-sac one day longer. I can see her point of view. What's left for her? She came to the big city to make it, a skewed strategy at the gitgo but the only one that girls today have left to them. They cannot stay in the dysfunctional family mire into which they were born. They left home with their little suitcase years ago after spending their teens watching a counterfeit media full of rock star myths, movie star chic and addictive celeb worship that dyed the skeins of their mind this ROSY PINK. Believing in PINK MYTHS, they chose to aim at the Capitalist Dream of "Girls Making it Big."
WHY LEAVE HOME IN THE FIRST PLACE? FAME AND POWER AND MONEY in SHOW BIZ is an illusory, ill thought out "planned revenge or satisfaction" but one which RUNS in modern girls' veins.. (The Horatio Alger myth is the predominant, American guiding philosophy and has been for over a century. ALGERISM is about being an honorable, diligent man and making it big and entering the next class up in flaming colors. One doesn't need to have read Alger's writings to have this myth in one's bloodstream guiding one's life. It's the zeitgeist of Capitalist novels, tv, magazines, all the programming we are fed on shares this Cinderella mythology. As soon as FEMALES were allowed into a marketplace which promised upward mobility, the myth of fame and power began to infect us. So when THE BIG PINATA doesn't appear promptly, disenchantment follows. And then identity shock. Oh my, what am I? A LOSER?
When the average girl slams up against the STIGMA of being a loser, she will be BEREFT. But that's what happens in the big city. Soon she is caught in a cross wind of a plummeting job market, rising rents, skyrocketing credit card debt (trickily based on incremental interest rates gathering like storm clouds on the unpaid principle, fear of not having a credit rating as debtors today learn that one can LIVE off the card. The credit card has become father and mother to our orphaned kids today and it's a false protection at best. When they slam up against "no more clients" for what they do, no jobs if they wanted to cross over into the job market, they keenly feel how orphaned they are, stuck in the costly rented room that turns into a horrid jail cell and hara-kiri may seem a good solution.
From the girl's point of view, forty, unmarried, no celebrity job? She has nothing; she is nothing. And there's nowhere to go to recover as her parents live in mud city ignorance, in pig sty's she wouldn't let her dog eat off --if she had a dog. Besides, there's no money to travel home. She owes a HUGE SUM right now including a few months rent. I can see her point of view which is 'why not be scientific about it and just pluck her non flowering, non fruiting branch from the tree of life' and collect enough pills to do herself in. Or if her pills miss the mark, sleep in a coma for the next forty years in some charity hospital.
She is disinclined to recognize that she is a GENETIC MIRACLE, the final triumphant branch of evolution, the 'bestest ever' twig, bud and fruit of 3.2 million years of the grinding away of Mother Evolution. She is a masterpiece of Darwinistic selection, smart as a whip, funny, smart to the point of being cynical, very beautiful and has a lot to give. Only no men have come along to enchant, amuse and enliven.
From the girl's point of view, forty, unmarried, no celebrity job? She has nothing; she is nothing. And there's nowhere to go to recover as her parents live in mud city ignorance, in pig sty's she wouldn't let her dog eat off --if she had a dog. Besides, there's no money to travel home. She owes a HUGE SUM right now including a few months rent. I can see her point of view which is 'why not be scientific about it and just pluck her non flowering, non fruiting branch from the tree of life' and collect enough pills to do herself in. Or if her pills miss the mark, sleep in a coma for the next forty years in some charity hospital.
She is disinclined to recognize that she is a GENETIC MIRACLE, the final triumphant branch of evolution, the 'bestest ever' twig, bud and fruit of 3.2 million years of the grinding away of Mother Evolution. She is a masterpiece of Darwinistic selection, smart as a whip, funny, smart to the point of being cynical, very beautiful and has a lot to give. Only no men have come along to enchant, amuse and enliven.
For example, she claims all the best men were killed off in wars and now today's men are too pathetic for the modern women.