Warning from the One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eaters from the Snickerdoodle Nebula

**This thread is meant to be completely humorous and is in no way real, or am I under the impression of it being real. Furthermore, to the best of my knowledge I am neither a One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater, nor do I have any urgent message to pass along to the revered members of ATS**




Greetings humans! My name is Slkahkhk Yaiojerklls Lmilauks... But my name is immaterial in this message. Just view me as a 'Benevolent One' seeking to pass along an urgent message. You see, my bosses originally sent along my comrade ET_Man to deliver a message about a cataclysmic event that will take place in the near future. Due to no fault of his own, his intergalatic Time Traveling Ship, the Dolorean XP4500, mistook the data transmission and he erroneously reported that the world would greet disaster on October 11, 2011. The actual date is 3 days later, on October 14, 2011. This gives all of you humans an extra 3 days to get your affairs in order and perhaps work together to prevent this magnetic pole shift from occurring. Also, there will be a Trojan Horse that will drink up all the waters of the oceans and then release his bladder onto the Continental United States, more specifically the Central Time Zone. I know that some members expressed concerns about not having big enough of a poncho for such an occasion, so the 'Watchers' decided to intervene just this one time and are issuing coupons for one free poncho per earthling. Just send a pre-paid envelope to my home Nebula in Sector 16.3A and allow 1 Light year for delivery. So if you mail off soon, you should receive it in time. Please don't destroy the good name I have established or discredit the good image of my people, or should I say People-Eaters. That is actually a misnomer. You see, when we joined the intergalactic tribune we did eat humans, but we were forced to a a strict vegetarian lifestyle when you were placed on the Endangered Species list because of all your warring with each other and constant threat of nuclear war. It's paid off though, I am leaning down and my wife is getting ready for our Bikini season.

Oh my... I have fallen off topic...

Back to the message!


Be weary humans and watch out! Use those three extra days wisely and hopefully you can find a way out of this mess. I will now open this thread to discussion until you make fun of me too much and then I will announce that this thread is closed.

In the name of the Benevolent Ones,

-Slkahkhk




**This thread is meant to be completely humorous and is in no way real, or am I under the impression of it being real. Furthermore, to the best of my knowledge I am neither a One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater, nor do I have any urgent message to pass along to the revered members of ATS**

[edit on 6/28/2009 by Sliadon]