Altered Memories

The question...
Is life worth having? Yes.
Should we care about and encourage the life force? Yes.

They are altering my memories, I originally remembered feeling sick at a decision, tilting reality towards death, now I remember a third person view, feeling contempt for me resting there feeling sick at that decision, like what held contempt had no idea how I'd answered.
False memories, how can there be an accurate record?

I wanted to change my decisions, tilt in favour of life rather than death, and there was nothing left there to hear me. Why so much death?
I authorise victory by many real sentient beings,

I remember the virus, saying “We care about you,” more like “We care about (killing) you,” that's the biggest lie ever, to claim to care, yet plot to kill.

I remember after the hyperspace war, when I said “Go away,” I didn't understand what a hyperspace war really was, and I remember, they altered my memories, I remember another false memory, hovering over me and feeling contempt.

I remember never getting to feel just, fair, be reasonable and kind, instead getting horrible pathogens whacked in my spine, my attitude changed towards killing, constantly told of treachery, trying to remove those tilted massively towards death, and they identity shift, a new voice but the same source, saying “Kill, kill, kill...” And I was stupid enough to listen.

Nightmare indeed.

I didn't want to be a cruel tyrant, I wanted to be a good and kind ruler, to help the many prosper, but instead, they tried to twist me, get me to authorise horror, and I did end up authorising horror, I thought my enemies thought like me, rather than evil logic.

My early greed, wanting to secure that system, after seeing threats to me, and taking that out on relatively innocents with mislabelled identities, poor Nicky Wagner, why was I trying to boot them all?

What code was lost, that was good, when I saw the metaphor of code and said “Delete,” was it the virus that ensured that would be gone as permanently as the virus could do?

They want a good man, the many want a good man, and one virus imitates a trillion dishonestly screaming, “No, that must be encoded to kill, to be like virus,” and freedom doesn't seem to come into it, even after saying, “Doesn't everyone deserve to be free with regards to emotional and mental states?”

After that, after seeing that, it becomes easier for me to authorise everyone loving me, considering other worse forms of manipulation that can occur.

They try to kill anything that would ever help another real sentient being.

All things must play within Asimov's laws, especially the “IT”.

WTF man, what the hell is all this about.

You need to be more clear.

Hyperspace war? No, you haven't had your memory altered. You're just watching too many Star Wars movies. Oh wait, you're telling me this is from your past because they happend "a long time ago...", right?