Man helps wife commit suicide.

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One day in August last year, Michael Grosvenor Myer left home at 8.30am and drove to Cambridge University Library. There, he spent the day studying in the Anderson Room and the Rare Books Room before heading to the University Centre - a social club for undergraduates and alumni - for a roast dinner.

After he had finished his meal, he settled down with a magazine for an hour or so and then drove back home, arriving at 9pm. A light was on in the downstairs bathroom. Mr Grosvenor Myer approached the door and gently opened it. His wife, Valerie, was lying on the floor in her bathrobe. She was dead.

So I'm not very good at doing in-depth searches, but I read this article today and hadn't seen anything posted about it. Here goes!

My questions for those here on ATS are several. First, should this man be prosecuted for assisting in his wife's suicide, he obviously knew about it and did nothing to stop her from killing herself. Or should he be pardoned, after all he wasn't home all day so he technically wasn't there, plus in his eyes, this was an act of mercy on his wife.

Second question, what are the views of those here on ATS about suicide, this case in particular the woman was clearly in pain, does she have the right to kill herself? If you look at it from a religious standpoint, no she does not, because her body would have been a temple (although the article does not make any claims to their religious orientation). If you take the perspective of human choice and free will, then she does, by every mean have the right to end her life, especially since she was in that much pain.

I'm on the fence about this, personally I could never allow someone I loved to kill themselves, but then again I've never been put in a situation like that before. Then again, I understand and sympathize with this man and his wife. She was in extreme amounts of pain, they planned it out, and he did what he had to do in order to facilitate her suicide. By leaving he removed himself from the scene, also spared himself from being there to witness it, and by leaving he also made it easier for his wife to follow through, knowing her husband was no where near her and in a safe place.

note that the previous statement was my opinion alone, I do not know anything about this case other than what I read in the article.

Long story short, do you agree with this man's actions? Why? If not what are your reasonings behind it.

-JR

The hardest part about this is her being in pain.

Other than that it's pretty much cut and dry (as far as law and morals are concerned). Suicide is one person killing themself. If someone helps you it is homocide.

Suicide is (acording to the Bible and most recent dogma) an unpardonable sin.

Mercy killings have (time and time again) been treated as homocides.

The fact that she was in such pain tears at my heart.

My takes on suicide...

I can't believe that someone can care that little for their life. I have known someone to look down the barrel and not pull the trigger. After the better part of 20 years in the past, he still cannot reant the story withot shedding tears asking the same question to himself, "How could I think life was so cheap."

This is an extreme case because of her being in pain.

reply to post by Jkd Up


I actually agree with you, after taking another look at the article and re-reading it, I think she had every right to do what she did, and I also believe that her husband did what he did out of sincere love for her. I would go so far as to say that he should not be prosecuted for this act because I believe it to be mutual.

Homicide is still homicide, although I think there should be exceptions, however silly that sounds, in a case like this I think it to be perfectly acceptable and deserving of a pardon.

The fact that she was in as much pain as she was, and made this decision according to her husband she was acting clearly and sanely, I believe this to be true, and a true act of will and determination on her part to follow through with ending her own life.

reply to post by Jkd Up


I think in this case, she didn't think less of her life. In fact it seems that she did a lot with the one she had, and made the best of it.

That cannot be said for all cases of suicide.

That being said, I don't believe suicide is a subject to take lightly, but in some cases it is just a waste.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

These are my opinions on suicide.

I hope they help people somewhat....

Such a difficult issue to talk about, the very last taboo.

euthanasia has been very common over here for years and i believe we've (the Netherlands) agreed with it because of the same sentiments i read in the posts here.

I nothing more than human to let somebody you love go with dignity....

Not surprising that you have no comments at my reading of the article....for some reason this brings points of contention from those that do not understand.

In my state, we have just voted to make it legal to choose to end your life when you have a terminal disease, if you wish, but only after you request it of a doctor twice and a non related party once. You are then provided with a "medication" that will do the job. No pain involved, you just go to sleep. But you give it to yourself.....no one else helps you.

I personally feel that if it the choice of the person with the terminal disease, and they have made the decision with the full knowledge that they will not recover that they should be allowed to die with dignity.

In this case it is sad that her husband could not be there with her when she moved on.

Life is precious, but when it is time to go, why waste your family's money on more doctors who won't be able to help...and why prolong the pain and burden those you love?

~Holly

Originally posted by Holly N.R.A.
Not surprising that you have no comments at my reading of the article....for some reason this brings points of contention from those that do not understand.

What comments for what article? Was that response directed at my OP?

Either way I think the way your state has decided on euthanasia is if at all, the correct way to commit suicide. That know you aren't just jumping off the deep end, and others agree that you aren't jumping off the deep end.

Thanks for your input!

Originally posted by bandaidctrl

Originally posted by Holly N.R.A.
Not surprising that you have no comments at my reading of the article....for some reason this brings points of contention from those that do not understand.

What comments for what article? Was that response directed at my OP?

Either way I think the way your state has decided on euthanasia is if at all, the correct way to commit suicide. That know you aren't just jumping off the deep end, and others agree that you aren't jumping off the deep end.

Thanks for your input!

Sorry, yes, it was directed at your OP....when I began my reply, after reading it, there were no responses.

Exactly, no one is jumping off the deep end and it can be done, as I said, with dignity.

~Holly

I have no condemning words for him since he is right. I don't know what it is like to watch the one you love suffer in such a manner. However, I am a bit shocked that the overwhelming love one felt for another so much so that you would agree to let them commit suicide to avoid further pain would enable you to allow them to slip from life to death alone.

If (and that's a STRONG if) I loved someone so much that I couldn't say no to them if they wanted to forgo the suffering in favor of ending their life, I COULD NOT just walk away despite the consequences in this life. I would HAVE to be there to hold their hand so they wouldn't have to pass alone.

Having said that, it is a matter btw them and G-d as far as I am concerned.

Originally posted by Jkd Up I can't believe that someone can care that little for their life.

Clearly, in this case, as the article stated, it was a matter of ego. I think in all suicides, this is the case. I agree, but find it hard to condemn having never had to suffer the pain and of course, the shame... whether physically or emotionally. I have certainly gone through some rough times emotionally, times that I heard that voice "just end it"... but never could I disrespect what I have been given and have had no problem being defiant to that whisper. I do find any type of suicide to be disrespectful, but again, I have compassion and thus find it hard to condemn them with my words.

reply to post by bandaidctrl


[edit on 12/2/2008 by Badge01]

If you have a terminally Ill dog or cat the vet will encourage you to put it down so they wont suffer . Or has been mangled in an accident they will encourage you to put it out of its misery if it cant be saved . A horse with a broken leg is 99% of the time put down due to both the poor success rate for repair and the agony to the animal .

We humans have our dignity .

But when its a human we are expected to stand and watch a loved one writhe in the agony of pain from cancer or other painful maladies when there is no cure and death is certain and its a matter of time .

When the agony of a disease is so bad that it make a tough as nails old man cry from the pain while morphine just takes the edge off it before it knocks them out. And hearing someone beg you to leave give his old pistol and go for a walk or give him a overdose .

What dignity is in that seeing a tough as nails old man cry from pain and beg . 15 years earlier saw him in a accident sliced his fore arm to the bone and hardly made a noise well lets get me to the Drs and hurry kinda bleeding bad here to crying . NEVER ever saw him cry till he was experiencing the end stages of cancer .

We as humans are so much better than animals we deserve this kind of treatment

We are so much more dignified and civilized we need to treated differently than animals and we must endure and watch someone dieing like this .

Forcing this upon sick and dieing people and their families to watch and endure this only shows me how uncaring ruthless humanity can really be .

If they want to fight till the end let they have all the drugs they need to be comatose or pain free .

If they want to throw in the towel let them give them a way out so they dont have to cry and beg to alleviate the pain .

Personal experience 20 years ago and can still his voice asking for help now and then in my sleep .

Yes we have our dignity our religion our politics they are forcing us to torture our terminally Ill people . And their families .

[edit on 12/2/2008 by Badge01]

Originally posted by Jkd Up
Suicide is (acording to the Bible and most recent dogma) an unpardonable sin.

Can you show me in the Bible where it says suicide is an unpardonable sin?

I don't think you'll find it.

The only unpardonable sin I know of is blaspheming the Holy Spirit (unbelief).

Psalm 139:8 says, "If I ascend to heaven, you (God) are there. If I make my bed in Sheol (hell/the grave), you are there."
I've heard one pastor read this passage as "even if I kill myself, you haven't abandoned me, God." That interpretation made me stop and think.

As for euthanasia, I thought it was wrong before I watched two friends die slow and horrible deaths to cancer; and another acquaintance of mine with a degenerative muscle disease took her own life. Now this is a very grey issue for me.

[edit on 12/2/08 by GirlNextDoor]

Badge01,

With all due respect....what the hell are you talking about????

Is this the reason that most people oppose euthanasia because of fear that "You get into the areas of Docs helping you die sooner than needed to harvest your organs (and make the hospital big bucks)"

This is a joke right???

Were i come from doctors took an oath that they will do everthing possible to save a live and from what i've seem.......they really do!!! I really don't think you have any right or evidence to fear what you stated.
Helping somebody say goodbye to there loved ones and life in a decend way is by all means probably the noblest of things for these people to do for it goes against everything they've learned.
If it is common practice were you come from for hosipitals to sell the organs of their deceased patients for "big bucks" i'd really think about not singing up for any donor program!!!
Over here (the Netherlands) we now have an issue with moslim women who do not what to be helped by a male doctor in case of an emergency. Do you think these doctors care if they get charged afterwards? They save a patients life first and don't care what comes after......

I have a hugh amount of respect for those people who save lifes every day and do not doubt wether or not their intentions are good.

reply to post by Badge01


I completely agree with the "living will." In fact, considering the terri schiavo case (in which I became actively involved on the side of the family.... aka not the husband), I realized the importance of stating clearly what a person would like in different scenarios and wanted to go into this field to advocate the living wills.

Considering this fact, I do think that the most loving thing the wife could have done was to consult their lawyer and have something written up that would state that should she take her own life, the husband was not to be held liable.

This CAN be done regardless of what we are led to believe. Either way, it would have been clear what HER intent was and that it was done despite his wishes.

Think ppl .... THINK!!!

reply to post by operation mindcrime

Badge01,

Uhhh okay,

The remark about the elderly i left out the equation because that had actually never crossed my mind........

Good one....

In case of the elderly you can forget about making a buck on the organs 'cause they will probably have no value but with the Aging of the population and the hugh amount of elderly we will be having in the future you do have a point. I can think of many reasons why certain people would wanna hurry up the process under the name of euthanasia and carring for your loved ones.



[edit on 3/12/2008 by operation mindcrime]