It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Why are you asleep?
Why are you asunder?
Can you not see my brother,
The tyranny you are under?
As the world around you falls,
your television, now it screams and it calls.
Inviting you in, injecting it's sin
making you hate your world within.
"Ignorance is bliss" --
or so I've been told...
Far to easy to enlist into the fold
"Enlist in what army? you may now ask.
An army of tyranny -- you accomplish their task.
Free thought, speech--such a noble doctrine,
now under a net the elite have us caught in.
Awaken yourself, shake off the control
Open your heart, but also your soul
Realize now, before the time is gone,
Their path, our leaders...
are nothing but wrong.
After reading, talking, and dealing with people not on my (our) wave-length I decided to write this
Originally posted by Kingalbrect79
By no means am I critisizing your work or your ideals, let's clear that up right now.
My intention is merely one of curiosity. It is very apparent that you are one of the few who are willing to help the world "wake up" as you so put it, and it is very interesting that you try a different medium. True that literature and music are the two greatest connections we as a people can have, however sometimes even this can come across as mindless ranting or conspiracy theories as well.
My thought on this matter would be one of two things:
1.You didn't answer my question on who/what it was you are communicating with on another "plane"
2. To have the most impact to your target audience, try a few simple things to focus your message and ideas into your poem:
-What is your audience? Who are they comprised of? What is your point of the message?
-Do you have supporting evidence of this conspiracy?
-Keep your tempo in the poem, you will keep readers flowing with you, not against you.
By no means am I meaning this to sound like an english lesson, only friendly suggestions to hone your message and maybe put into better words what you are feeling or trying to describe.
On a second issue, if you are referring to me as a complacent ostrich, you are sadly mistaken, as I am one of the biggest people to question everything. I am more awake spiritually and mentally than everyone around me. If you are going to use references to a specific set of people as such, then try to word it in a manner that might not offend the people your are illiciting responses from.
[edit on 12-7-2008 by Kingalbrect79]
In terms of "plane" I mean awareness of reality around us as it is today. Plane of existence. When I communicate/chat with fellows here and then go out into my world-at-large....it's like two different "planes of reality". I am trying to reach those that have never heard of words like NWO, North American Union" ... people totally engrossed into their own little micro-cosmic world of "Food Network and Fox News".
-as I said, including dates/names and "evidence" into a poem as such would illicit blank stares.
-tempo: I agree with you -- but I also have to disagree. I like flowing poems, poems that flow...but most of the good poems that I have read (in high level english classes) mix up the meter -- to break up the "sing-songy" effect. I broke this poem up into longer and shorter stanzas in order to emphasize certain "ideas"
Oh, no my friend -- you are one of the ones ON my plane of reality