The Biggest Conspiracy EVER!!!!!!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'...... Hmmmm, I says to myself, you know I feel like eatin' some nice crispy bacon. Then I did some more thinkin' about bacon. Hmmmmmm, you know, bacon doesn't look anything like a pig! So I did some more thinkin', and I says to myself - Self, could this be a really big pig conspiracy? Hmmmm......
Bacon comes in those packages, where you see it in nice little slices and stuff. Now I've seen a pig, and it doesn't look anything like bacon! I also saw Charlottes Web, and Babe The Pig. No way they're bacon.
Wait! I just did some more thinkin'! When you by a ham it comes in that really fancy metal can...... Nope that doesn't look like a pig either. I went to a pig roast once, and that looked like a pig. Yep, but now that I think about it, I didn't see any bacon inside that pig.
Oh man, now I'm doin' some really deep thinkin'....... Oh man I'm gettin' scared with the thinkin' I'm about to tell you......
There is a conspiracy! Butchers are all fakes. I bet all butchers are reptilian greys, that are given orders from the Zionist Illuminati to use those big fancy cleavers and stuff to abduct people. Who would ever suspect a butcher?! Yeah, the guy down the street is a butcher. I never did trust him, with those beady little eyes, and blood and stuff all over his smock.

Oh man I gotta do some really good thinkin' about this......I could use some other good thinkin' people too!

Oh man, I'm gonna be watchin' that butcher down the street you bet!

your crazy nothing is wrong there *Speaks into collar* CODE RED CODE RED ABORT ABORT GET THE GREYS OUTTA THERE!!...CHARLIE.....CHARLIE!!!???....ANSWER ME CHARLIE!!!!...NOOOOOOOOOO....you god damn zoinist will pay for this....

Oh..sorry gotta bit carried away there...as i said..there is nothing wrong here...move along

So if Bacon is a pig why do we not get beef bacon or lamb bacon, supposedly bacon is a cut of the back, right, so why are there no similar cuts from cows or sheep???

Originally posted by chris01621
So if Bacon is a pig why do we not get beef bacon or lamb bacon, supposedly bacon is a cut of the back, right, so why are there no similar cuts from cows or sheep???

Because you touch yourself at night...tut ...tut...

So, I was sittin' here doin' some more thinkin' over the weekend.......
I gotta set up a really cool spy area, so I can watch that butcher down the street.
So I went to the store, and bought a really cool "I Spy" lunch box. It has this cool thermos in it, and a decoder ring, so I can send secret messages, and no one will know what the emergency letters mean! That is so cool. Then I bought a little spy kit. It has these really cool binoculars, 2 walkie talkies, a magnifying glass, and this really cool watch, that has a secret compartment in it. Yep, you lift up the face of that watch, and there's a tiny little note pad in it! That way if the Butchers take me hostage, I can write down secret spy notes and stuff, and they'll just think I'm tellin' time. Man that is the best $14.95 I've ever spent! That is some great thinkin'!
So I have this plastic swimming pool, I turned it upside down, and used finger paints to make it look all camoflagey and all. Then I glued lots of leaves and twigs and pine cones and stuff on it. Then I put it at the end of my yard, got all of my spy stuff, and crawled in the upside down pool. It was really dark and scary, so I lit a nice candle to give me some light. Now here's something I have to do some thinkin' about. When I lit that candle, it started to melt that upside down pool, and some of the glue and leaves and stuff caught on fire. Thank goodness I had that thermos filled with Hi-C! Yep, I put out that fire! Now I don't need a candle, because there's a nice hole in the top of that upside down pool.
So then I got back in, and started spyin' on that Butcher down the street. He thinks he's so cool. Wearin' that smock, and that little white hat. Nope he doesn't have me fooled! I know he's a reptilian grey! I can tell he's up to something, because when he backs out of his driveway, he always looks both ways a couple of times before pulling out into the street. Yep, why look both ways if you don't have anything to hide? Just zoom on out into the street like everyone else! And get this, when I was puttin' out that fire - he drove by real slow and stuff, looking right at me and my spy shelter. He even waved! I bet the Illuminati are telling him that I'm onto him.
So, I'm doin' some spyin', and every time I see him going home, he has a package or two, wrapped in some white paper with tape on it. I used those really cool binoculars, and I could tell that there was a tiny little bit of blood drippin' from those packages. Oh man, I'm really onto something here. Wait, I'm doin' some more thinkin' here. Man I bet those packages are probes!!!
And l saw him sittin' in his car talkin' on his cell phone, and he was writin' stuff down on a piece of paper. I bet it's a Zionist givin' him a whole list of people to abduct!
Wait! I'm doin' some more thinkin'! His wife always drives their kids to school. Nope they're the only kids who don't take the school bus. Hmmmmm.......
I always took the school bus to school. Yep, that short little yellow bus used to come right to our front door, and I'd climb right onto that bus. ..... Hmmmmm...
WAIT! I just did some more good thinkin'! The address of his Butcher Shop is 51 Arena Street! 51 Arena street! Sounds an awful lot like Area 51 to me!
Yep, I'm really onto somethin' here. I'm gonna go to the Halloween store right now, and buy a really cool Ninja suit. That way I can dress up in that Ninja suit, and sneak up on his house tonight. I can look in his car windows and stuff to see what I find.
Keep your eyes open everybody!

You be careful Lombozo, I'll keep an eye on the threads and if you dont write anything here for a few days i'll be sure to send out a search party to 51 arena street.
Don't do anything I would do.

Thank you chris01621. But don't worry about me, I can do some better thinkin' than that Butcher I bet!
So I went to the halloween store, and bought a really cool Ninja suit. So last night I put on that Ninja suit. It was so cool! It's all black, with this really cool black mask and stuff. It even comes with this really cool long plastic Ninja sword! Man I looked so scary! So it got dark outside, and I went out the back door into my yard, and started to go down the street to that Butchers house. I was doin' all kinds of Ninja crawlin' and stuff. I did some thinkin' about it, so I was crawlin' under bushes and stuff so no one would see me. Then I waited until no cars were comin', and I ran across the street. I was runnin' so fast, that my cool black mask moved and I couldn't see, and I tripped on the curb, and went flyin' through the air. I landed on someones front yard, and a dog started to bark. Stupid Dog! So I tried to fix my mask, and those people turned on their front light. I bet they were so surprised to see a Ninja on their front yard! So I ran and hid under some bushes and did some thinkin'. After awhile those people turned off their light, and that stupid dog stopped barking, so it was time to make my move. So I started to Ninja crawl under those bushes, and my Ninja costume got stuck on Rose Bush Thorns! I mean really stuck. So I had to stand up and yank my Ninja suit off of those thorns. It tore my suit, and I fell backwards right onto that Butchers car, and his stupid car alarm went off. Then that stupid dog started barking again. So I turn around to run away but that really cool long plastic Ninja sword got stuck in that butchers car door handle! Oh man, I had to do some really quick thinkin'.....
So I remembered that I had on a nice clean pair of Boxer Shorts. So I rip off my Ninja suit, and I was all sweaty and stuff. Then I pretend that I was jogging down the road. That Butcher came out and yelled "Hey! What's going on out here?"
So I "jog" on by and I pretended that I was all scared and stuff. Then I say back to him "Did you see that? There's a Ninja out here! You don't see that every day!" Then I "jogged" back home.
Man, I was so glad that I have such a good brain!
I still gotta go spy on that Butcher!

So I was sittin' in my cool upside down plastic pool spy fort doin' some thinkin'.....
I was watchin' that Butcher you bet. I was usin' my really cool binoculars and stuff. So I says to myself, Self, I'm pretty sure that this butcher conspiracy is bigger than anyone knows. Yep, this is one suspicious Butcher down the street. He's got this really tall fence that goes around his yard and stuff......Hmmm, and he doesn't even have a dog! Yep he's hidin' somethin' allright.
So I'm thinkin' to myself, how can I get close to his place to do some really good spyin', since I lost my really cool Ninja suit.
Hmmmmmm.........how do I get close? C'mon brain, do some good thinkin'....... How to get close?..............
Wait! I got it!!!!
Oh man, this is such good thinkin'!
I have this really big box in my garage, when I got my new refrigerator! Yeah! I can put it on his curb on trash day. I can hide in that really big box, and spy on him real good. Yep, that Butcher will look at that really big box on the curb, and think his neighbor got a new refrigerator. I bet that Butcher will be so jealous!

So I put that really big box on the curb, and got in. I cut a hole in that really big box so I can put my really cool binoculars through it and do some good spyin'. Now that is some really good thinkin'.
So that butcher comes home and pulls into his driveway. He looked right at my really big box. Man, I am doin' such good thinkin', and spyin'. So he gets out of his car, and looks at my really big box again, then went in his house. In a couple of minutes, his garage starts to open. Oh man, this is so excitin'! I heard a little thumpin' on my really big box. So I did some thinkin'....So I says to myself - Self, what is that thumpin' noise? Hmmmm........ Oh it's starting to rain a little bit, no big deal.......
So I'm lookin' in that garage, and now I know that he's up to no good! There's like all kinds of tools, on a really fancy workbench. He thinks he's so cool. There's like saws, and hammers, and drills, and hedge trimmers and stuff. Yep all the tools you need to torture the victims those reptilian grey butchers abduct. That thumpin' rain is gettin' louder.
So he looks at my really big box again, and says "Hey Kids, come here! I found you a nice target!" so I says to my self, Self, what is he talkin' about? Then he pulls out a bow and arrow set. I knew he was a bad guy! This conspiracy is really big!!!! His kids come into the garage, and he points right at my really big box. I bet he's tellin' those kids how jealous he is that his neighbor got a new refrigerator.
Wait! What was that? Oh it was just a drop drippin' on my head. Yep, that thumpin' is gettin' pretty loud. Hmmmm, some more drops are fallin' on my head. And there are lots of drops on my really cool binoculars, and I can't really see out of them too good.
That Butcher put's down the bow and arrow, and says somethin' like "After it stops rainin'" I couldn't hear real good, cause that thumpin is gettin really loud and stuff. I'm startin' to get pretty wet. So I see that the box is startin' to get really soaked and stuff, and the sides are startin' to get pretty flimsy. So I think I should take my really cool binoculars out of that hole and wipe them off so I can see. Then a big chunk of that box sticks to those binoculars and breaks off. Then the whole box falls down right on top of me. So I try to rip it off of me, and stand there flappin' my hands, and kickin' my feet until it all come off. So right away I pretend I'm joggin' again. That butcher is lookin' at me as I jog by, and I say "Hey, you got a new refrigerator, huh?"
He didn't say anything to me at all. Those Zionist Illuminati Reptilian Greys have Xray vision and read minds I bet.

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'.....
Man, I really don't trust that butcher! So I was doin' some more thinkin'. Like when you go into the food store, and go to the meat aisle. You never see those butchers. And they have that little phone by the door, that you have to pickup and talk to the butcher.......... Hmmmmm, I bet that's so those reptilian greys can shapeshift back into a person and stuff.
Yeah, this is the biggest conspiracy I've ever heard of!
So I did some more thinkin'..... I'm gonna go to that supermarket and talk on that butcher phone. I'm gonna trick those stupid Butchers! Oh man that is some good thinkin'! So I put on my really cool spy watch, and get my cool spy compass and my Star Trek Phaser and stuff.
So I get to the supermarket, and I'm wearin' some really dark sunglasses so nobody can see where I'm lookin' and stuff. So I go back to the meat department, and nope there's no butchers anywhere. So I stand there in the meat department with my really dark sunglasses on and all, lookin' around.......
Nope, nobody suspects the spyin' I'm doin........
So I did some more thinkin', and said to myself, Self, what should I say on that special Butcher Phone? Hmmmmm..........I bet those reptilian greys are pretty smart.......Hmmmmm, c'mon brain you better do some good thinkin' here.......
Hmmmm...
Wait I got it!
So I walk over to that phone, and look around some more..... Then I pick up that phone, and when someone answers I say "Klaatu barada nikto!" Oh man that is such good thinkin'! There was silence on the other end of that phone for a little bit. Then that voice on the other end said "What?"
So I say again "Klaatu barada nikto!" - and the voice on the other end says "Hello? Can I help you?" Oh man these butchers are crafty!
So I make a bunch of clickin' noises into that phone then hold my phaser up to that phone and squeeze the trigger so it makes that really cool phaser noise and stuff.
The person on the other end of that phone hung up! The next thing I know, a couple people were comin' down the aisle sayin' "Hey you!" Oh man this is not good, I gotta do some quick thinkin'! So I hang up that phone and start runnin', and those people were chasin' me! So I did some quick thinkin', and I ran down the fruit aisle. I grabbed a couple of bananas and threw them behind me. I bet those people are gonna slip on those bananas, and be so surprised! So I run out of the store, and unlock that really cool chain on my bike. Then I went as fast as I could. I bet they were all sayin' "Man, did you see how fast that guy was?".

Now I'm thinkin' the whole store is in on that conspiracy! Yep, no butchers came out of the back, these people came from the front!
I gotta do some more thinkin' about this..............

Do you really think you can get away with this? Do you think we reptilian butchers don't read ATS? We were wondering about you with that stupid little swimming pool, but now we know for sure. Yeah, you think you're so clever, little ninja man. We're on to you and we're watching your every move. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, you'll know we were there.

ps. Don't let your kid play that D7 chord on that guitar you bought him. You've been warned.

Dont let them reptilian butchers get to ya Lombozo, You know you can outsmart them with your good thinking. All your operations haven't gone to well so far but its all trial and error, you just need a bit more good thinking and you will learn their secrets, you are so close dont give up now!!!

Originally posted by closettrekkie
Do you really think you can get away with this? Do you think we reptilian butchers don't read ATS? We were wondering about you with that stupid little swimming pool, but now we know for sure. Yeah, you think you're so clever, little ninja man. We're on to you and we're watching your every move. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, you'll know we were there.

ps. Don't let your kid play that D7 chord on that guitar you bought him. You've been warned.

Oh man! Now I'm ascared! I knew this was the biggest conspiracy ever! Now I gotta do some really good thinkin'!!!
Those reptilian grey butchers are smarter than I thought....... Hmmmm, oh man I just thought of somethin' else! I bet that those Zionist Illuminati are tinkerin' with all of that bacon. Oh man, brain, you are so good - it all makes sense. It's the master plan of the NWO. Yep, tamper with that bacon, and everyone eats that bacon. Then we all get hypnotized and stuff while they take over.
Wait! I just did some more good thinkin'.... That's why those Zionists don't eat bacon!!!! Yeah, it's all coming together now....... Those reptilian grey butchers think they're so cool..... Oh man, brain I'm so glad you can do such good thinkin'. I'm gonna outsmart those Zionist Illuminatis you bet! Hey.... wait a minute.... All that bacon comes in those nice strips and stuff, but what about Canadian Bacon? Hmmmm, yep, that Canadian Bacon is round. Hmmmmm...what could that mean?
I never heard of Mexican bacon, or Chinese Bacon, or Somalia Bacon......Hmm, so why Canadian Bacon? Oh man - I just did some really scary thinkin'.... I bet it's because the Reptilan, grey, zionist, illuminati butchers have their super secret fort in Canada! Yeah, up in the really cold snow and ice and stuff. Nobody gonna look for that super secret fort in that kind of cold.......I bet it's buried under that ice. Yep, that way if those reptilian grey zionist illuminati butchers want to eat some bacon - they know to only eat the round kind, 'cause all the bacon that comes in strips is tainted! I bet those reptilian grey zionist illuminati butchers never thought they'd have to deal with someone who does such good thinkin'!

Hmmmmm, and I better take the strings off my son's guitar...............just in case.

I gotta do some more thinkin' about how I can defeat the NWO's plans. Those stinkin' butchers!

Originally posted by chris01621
Dont let them reptilian butchers get to ya Lombozo, You know you can outsmart them with your good thinking. All your operations haven't gone to well so far but its all trial and error, you just need a bit more good thinking and you will learn their secrets, you are so close dont give up now!!!

With the help of good thinkers like you, those stinkin' butchers are going to lose for sure!

Did someone cut you off in traffic today? Maybe someone with a cell phone? Yup, that was us. We're watching you. Let me remind you, that you have eaten bacon in the past. You have already been under the influence of our mind control. All I have to do is say the magic word and you are in for the ride of your life. Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa! BWWAAA HAAA HAAAA

ps. Don't worry about the pork chops in your freezer. They're ok! (nudge, nudge, wink)

Originally posted by closettrekkie
Did someone cut you off in traffic today? Maybe someone with a cell phone? Yup, that was us. We're watching you. Let me remind you, that you have eaten bacon in the past. You have already been under the influence of our mind control. All I have to do is say the magic word and you are in for the ride of your life. Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa! BWWAAA HAAA HAAAA

So that was you, eh? You think you're so cool drivin' in that fancy BMW, talkin' on that cell phone.
Hmmm, that got me to do some more thinkin'.... I have eaten an awful lot of bacon......and not the round kind either................this is not good.......
How can I stop that mind control? Hmmmm, how to stop it. I bet there's some kind of a stupid bug in my brain that's sendin' out signals of my good thinkin' to thos stupid butchers......
Hmmmm, how to stop it? How to stop it......
Wait! I got it!!!!
I'm gonna go out and get a frozen slushee, and drink it down really quick! Yep, I'll get a really big brain freeze, like one so big I'll be all curled up in a ball on the floor and stuff. Yep, that'll kill that butcher bug! Man I am doin' some good thinkin'. Then I got to go out and buy lots of tin foil. Yep, I'll stop those stupid reptilian grey butchers from readin' my mind!

So I went to the store, and bought a nice frozen slushee. And I got the really big one. It was the grape kind.
So I did some thinkin', and used 3 straws. I put those 3 straws in that grape slushee, and drank as quick as I could. Man that's cold, but I kept on drinkin' really fast. My eyesight was gettin' blurry, and my throat was gettin' tight, but I kept on goin' No stupid Butcher Bug is gonna be livin' in my brain.......
So, it was gettin' really hard to breathe, soI took a super huge gulp.............

When I woke up, I was layin in the parkin' lot, with a couple people standin' around me. I had grape slushee spilled on my really cool Radio Shack t-shirt. It was really sticky and stuff. I wonder if those people were butchers?

So I did some thinkin', and went back into that store, and bought every roll of aluminum foil they had - just in case.

So I drove home, and parked in the garage. I took that tin foil, and made a really cool hat - it looks like a pirate hat! Now that was some good thinkin'! Then I had a great idea. I'll line the entire inside of my car with that tin foil. Oh man that is such good thinkin' - no reptilian grey butcher gonna read my mind while I'm drivin'!
So I get in my car, and start linin' everything with that aluminum foil. The floors, the ceilings, the seats, the dashboard, the doors. I mean everything was covered
with aluminum foil. It was really kind of dark in that car ' cause of all that aluminum foil and stuff - I guess I'll have to put a slit in that foil so I can see outside. Yeah it's really dark in this car. So I turn on the overhead light in the car, and with all of that shiny aluminum foil, the inside of the car was brighter than the sun. The doctor says my retinas will eventually heal............

Pssst....hey....this is Floyd - the butcher's assistant. I'm using my boss's user account so I can get in touch with you. I can't talk long, for I am in fear for my life. I need to meet with you to discuss your situation. Meet me on the corner tonight at midnight. Wear hot pink stockings with green high heels so I will know who you are. And don't, I repeat DON'T drink grape slushys whilst wearing tinfoil! The brain freeze gets trapped in the head by the tin foil causing severe condensation in the brain. Why do you think you found yourself passed out in a parking lot! Silly humans.

Dont listen to closettrekkie, its not his assistent, the fact is that you've thrown them off your trail and they want some way to find you. If you go to the corner in those pink stockings and green heels they will know who you are and take you down there and then FOR GOOD!!!
For your own saftey dont wear pink stockings with green heels!!!!

God save us from those reptilian grey zionist illuminati butchers!!!

Chris, you are putting Lombozo's life at great risk by giving him this kind of disinformation. Thanks to you he never showed up and now is not responding to this thread. I fear there may be more chops in the freezer than we had previously had yesterday, if you know what I mean. I did notice the butcher putting a new item on the specials of the day sign - Bozo loin 1/2 off

So I went to the corner in those really cool stockings, and high heels last night. There were alot of men who kept tryin' to give me 20 bucks and stuff and make me get in their cars. I was too busy thinkin', and spyin', and I told everyone to leave me alone.........
Then a cop came and took me to the station in his really cool car. I guess he knew that I was in danger and was tryin' to protect me.
Now I know that those reptilian grey zionist butchers are involved in the biggest conspiracy ever!