The tories were badly battered by the rise of New Labour, especially as it came in on the back of what had to have been the worst Tory Government
since Stanley bloody Baldwin. Major's government in the '92-97 Parliament was a long, slow, horrible train wreck, as its majority steadily dwindled,
the right-wing anti-europeans went mad and the public realised in the wake of the ERM fiasco that the tories could no longer be trusted on the
Add on the rise of Teflon Tony Blair with his drive to the middle ground, and it's no wonder that the tories got slaughtered in 1997.
Their next leader was William Hague, who had little hair and slightly mad eyes. He also tried to drive his party to the middle ground, but the
reaction from the grass roots was so bad that he had to appease them. Grass root tories - that is long-term party members who help to select
candidates for parliament - have long been a joke. Their average age is about 109, they support capital punishment, don't like ethnic minorities and
think that Maggie was wonderful. I should know, I've met some of them.
Hague therefore veered straight right and promptly got his butt handed to him by Blair in 2001.
The tories reaction? The grass roots voted in Iain Duncan Smith. This dipstick is my local MP. He's a moron. He used to be in the British Army, but
he left when he failed to get into Staff College, something that is quite hard to do unless you're a moron. Again, I've met the man. He has a
charisma of a small arthritic slug.
Duncan Smith (or IDS as he became known to the media, although I prefer to call him SID) started on the right wing and stayed there. There was no
effort to move to the centre. He sounded as if he had a permanent frog in his throat. He was bereft of ideas.
The tories flatlined at the polls for 3 years as a result, until the MPs finally rose up, knifed him in the back and anointed Michael Howard as the
Howard was known best known in Britain from his time as the most reactionary Home Secretary that we've had for years. Apparently he's a nice chap,
but his general demeanour was that of a peckish vampire eyeing up your jugular.
The change of leader and the Iraq war meant that the tories did not too badly in the 2005 election. Sadly, SID is still my local MP. He also enraged
my entire family by having his flunkies efefctively move my father on when he was collecting for the RNLI (the lifeboat people who such a great job
around our coasts) outside the local train station at the same time that SID was handing out 'vote for me' stickers. Tosser.
The current tory leader is David 'Smiler' Cameron. He has the intellectual depth of a puddle, but is telegenic and young. Iraq is still weighing on
the mind of the public for obvious reasons, so for the first time in years the tories are above Labour in the polls.
The chances of a new Thatcher emerging from the current crop of MPs is close to zero.