People will turn your back...

I have a story... Still untold by myself..

I have been through the most terrible years in my life since 2003...

In 2003 i lost a girl i really love/d alot. It was a short moment of joy.. Even my first moment of the feeling of someone really loved me..But that ended cause i turned out to be an idiot.. For some million reasons i guess...

I lost the will to continue on the path i was on before the love connection ended.. I used to have job and was building up a carrer on my own..working different places as a 3D artist.

The sickness of the loss of this lovely person i meet - made me one day just scan the internet - for what was going on on Mars... With the rovers and stuff. Cause this planet - and my life just seemed to make no sense to me anymore...

Suddently i was in a situation where i found about 10 or 15 pictures with blue skies on Mars - And a theory that they painted the Mars skies red for all the world to see - Their is no such thing as natural colors on Mars.

For a moment everything just made sense to me again - after the lost love connection.. I downloaded everything i could find on Mars and the blue skies..It was such a beautiful and perfect vision to have inside my skull. I also found some pictures from Mars with some green olivien colored stuff on it..
I tell you, in those days... I was still ignorant... Not fully convinced yet.. Until i found the Mars landing 1962 - And a picture from hubbel telescope - showing of a Mars with green colors where there is this darker brown colors..(normally)

Well to say atleast... I kinda went into a stage of mind called total panic...It made me so happy...!!
Wich made me send all the information i gatered from the net to everyone i knew back then...
A said "look here - This is amazing!! - Mars has blue skies!!"

Well - it took about 3-4 month - then i lost every singel friend i ever had...
Lost my job, lost my future..

lost my mind.

within 2 years iv'e turned into a freak...A crackpot...As to before these years i was a popular personallity - for whom people loved to talk to...
I was a teacher on a school.. Taugt people how to find their way around in a 3D program... And i was good...

My telephone keept calling in those days... It felt so right to be alive back then..Everything made sense...I had friends and they had me..
Oh hell - Things just changed alot i tell you...

Suddently i became a truth seeker... Not just for fun - but for staying alive...I wanted more and more...

But it dosn't give me the kick's anymore like it used to do... I know i may sound like a drug addicted person, but it just dosn't make me happy anymore to see UFO pictures - or ancient eguptian pyramides and the end of the world..
It just dosn't make me happy anymore.. cause it's such a lonely path to follow. And people can't talk to me anymore - Cause i have walked through that door of reality -

My friends can't help me cause - they have no clue what im talking about when i talk about Disclosure project or the 9/11 stuff. What ever conspiracy out there.. Just killed my life perfectly profoundly..

I can't go into every detailed knowlegde i have about all the conspiracy i have read and heard and even seen with my own eyes...

I can just see the result of the human need to know everything...And alot more... That is lonlyness.. The result are lonely days.. breathing oxygen..

a tasteless life with no clue to what is true or false anymore...

No friends - no partys anymore - I will not be invited to a party anymore - drink beers with the friends...

Cause im beound that - i have read to much knowlegde to just go watch a soccer match. My eyes dosn't look at the match anymore...I look at the skies man..!!
Iv'e seen orange light..Iv'e seen flash in the skies..and doomsday are comming our way...Even the buddist monks are telling us this stuff are comming..and world records in hurricans over there in United States Of America... Earthquakes on TV... And on and on it goes these years.

FEMA-camps - you name it - Hitler is alive and doing well..

What the heck is going on?

Shall we all perrish - with out anyone knowing what the heck is going on?

You see - im close leaning up on a mental stage called insanity... Am i beast or am i human...

i just found out how ignorant this planet are... During these 2 years... But i still love people even though they don't like that other reality... And i sure understand - Cause i used to be ignorant myself once.. And it sure was a bliss in those days. I even liked G.W Bush back then..
---
In the days when i found disclosure project and pictures of Mars with blue skies... I also found Sonora sightings...
And i meet people who told me they had seen UFO's themselves... Offcourse they only told me when they had taken me to a remote room in a building with no other people around... And they told me personal secrets.

What i have learned through all of this - is that the people who seek with heart and soul into all these matters - like i do... We have to accept to be left outside the social accepted reality... As show in schoolbooks and on TV most of the time...CNN BBC whatever..
It's not a fun place to be in.

People turn your back... When they find out you are "one of them"...

Well - have anyone the same feelings during these days?
Am i going crazy for real?

Or is it just an total ignorant world we are living in.

What do you feel in these years - Is it no different to the past years.. 1999 - 1989...
Are this world really going into massive changes on all fronts or am i just going crazy - and i might as well just...

Mod Edit: Replaced a few words (in bold) with clean ones. The story and intent remains unchanged.

[edit on 28-10-2005 by ZeddicusZulZorander]

[edit on 28-10-2005 by Ram]

Sorry for your loss. I know some things in this world that are tragic sometimes feel like its gonna kill you and turn you to a blob of nothingness.

But fret not...Whatever doesnt kill ya makes ya stronger. We live these tragedies to help identify with others that have had them no matter what their circumstances.

Why ya think the creator hasn't destroyed us all in one swipe yet? He identified with us many years ago.

Here is some more info on Mars
What NASA Isn't
Telling You About Mars
rense.com...
www.tnni.net...

I have to believe Mars has a red atmosphere. Unless they are color changing our own sky at night to make Mars appear red

Ram, many of us are like this. I often talk to my wife about these things. One night I went on connecting subject to subject until she said enough .
Sometimes you have to do other things or people will feel like you are a total drag. No one wants to hear that the world is going to end all the time.

For a while I was mad at people. I mean I was mad at every person walking the street. Only because I felt they were closed minded or ignorant. I really had to make an effort to 'connect' with people again. I had to look at our similarities and not the differences.

Not many people are willing to hear about 9/11, UFOs or the end of the world. They live there lives only interested in themselves or whatever. People don't want to listen to us just like they don;t want to listen to someone who tells them to eat more healthy. There are a lot of different people in this world.

People turn your back... When they find out you are "one of them"...

Some do. Who needs them?

I made a post not too long ago about this.
Seen or believe in UFOs? People think you are weird.

I have been there, done that.
Let me try to explain it is a psychic break often called a Messianic Complex.
It will pass to where you can keep silent among the unknowing.
There is a hard path one goes on once the door has opened.
Many are called, few are chosen..
Please u2u me if i can be of any help..

Yeah - what Umbrax and siriuslyone said!

Know you are not alone - their are many here just like you.

Its frustrating because we have morals and thus cannot use underhanded tactics to reveal the truth to the "blind" masses.

And thats what makes us better than those who would (and do) control the world through greed or force or injustice.

My morals have cost me my career too - and money is sometimes a problem for me - but there are ways to work the system without succumbing to it.

What I would recommend for you is to have patience, have faith, and concentrate on ways to make a living (even if they are not your favorite profession).

You can serve as a powerful ally to all who seek to remove the vail of darkness from this planet and let the true light in.

But you cannot do this if you let yourself fall into dispair - if you do that then the Real terrorists win.

And some days it will be hard - I felt like just giving up trying last wed. - but those dark times pass and your passion for life and truth and justice and all that is good in this world returns.

It does help to have faith - faith in yourself - and faith in your creator - for with faith all things are possible and hope never dies.

And don't worry about yopur friends - new ones come around when and where you least expect it - this is true with new loves as well.

Good Luck to you! - have no doubt many here are roorting for you to be blessed beyond your wildest dreams!

Originally posted by Umbrax I had to look at our similarities and not the differences.

Well - it's different when your on your own... I don't have a wife who can tell me what is right or what i wrong to do.

I only have one brain - im not having an extra helping guide or godess to help me -

You see - it's the deal of millions of people sharing the same mindset...again. The wife thing is the same deal - and that is excactly how it works. it keeps us from spreading the herd. Stay here - don't be any different. And "enough!"

And it's allright...
Wifes need security.. Man needs to stay put and do the money thing..it's all in the genes.. And it's allright...

------------------------------
The question is - shall we do something about it...? i mean.. Can we do anything about the changes that might be comming our way...

I don't care! - if people don't care - yet i do care - cause it is the problem that people don't care...
Even if they do care - they can't do anything - cause nobody cares.

And who are suppose to care? And take care of "it"..

By "it" meaning - The secrets that they can't talk about - cause it's to secret they can't talk about it...

And by me - Im a good exampel of crossing that area... I just choose to do it somehow...
And i pay the price of wanting to gain more knowlegde... Like i was some kinda murder... people just turn their back... People just aint no good.

It's just a feeling... Of finally have found the holy stones... And RAM-BAM! im going down... Pay time.. like a punishment...

But thanks for post... And i know about the Mars carts anyway - It's pretty painfull knowlegde... hehe

[edit on 28-10-2005 by Ram]

erm - truthmagnet..

Well - if new friends came around... Should i worry about them..



you see? it's crazy...



why worry - be happy... lol*

[edit on 28-10-2005 by Ram]

Originally posted by Ram people just turn their back... People just aint no good.

You really have to find the good in people. I know some people have let you down, but not everyone is like that. Just look at the replies on this thread .

I do urge you to take a brighter look at life. Look at what is good and try not to dwell on the bad so much. If the world ends the world ends. Is that a bad thing? Yes. You can live the rest of your days alone and brooding or you can enjoy your self.
You are an artist. I get the feeling that maybe you used to be more involved in your art than you are now. You should go back to that. Having a way to express yourself can make a big difference in life

oh hell...
yes - im painting things...
I tried to make this my avatar... But it says it's too big a file...



Ram with a bird...

Who know if he's crushing the bird or trying to gently touch it..?
while he whistle..a birds song..

Let me give you an example of how back-biting is so harmful.
When I met my ex-husband, I was in the midst of doing trance for the grays, and he was not a believer, but one day, before we got married, thay appeared to him in massive form to ensure him I was right, scared him to death..At that time, he promised he would support me in all that I felt led to do with his full support.
Well. after we were married for about a tear, when my Mother came over to pick pears for canning off my fully loaded pear tree, it had been totally stripped, not one pear left, and it was no a human perp! Day before it had been loaded way deep in the woods.
He freaked out so much he asked me if I would got to an et's exorcist??
I did not wish to go, but I did still love him, so I relented and she was a faker as I could see through her--avoid Iris Maack.
I kept on doing my own thing until one day, a tv company called me about talking about my NDE"s.He was really ballastic and said no way....
Anyway to make this shorter, he found a materialistic black woman whow he felt comfortable with, one day I came home and all his stuff was gone.
So, believe me, 17 years of my life was interrupted by his basic ego.
I have tried to make him understand karma, but he does not..
I presently have no friends, lovers, just 2 dogs..never feel alone, as Spirit and benevolent space beings are with us..

Originally posted by siriuslyonenever feel alone, as Spirit and benevolent space beings are with us..

Now you mention it.. That is exactly how i felt - when things made sense to me - and i had job and a future..

I never felt alone...

And i really don't feel alone.. Now i think about it... Im actually full of that inner contact...with something...bigger than myself all the time..

your post made me think mrs.sirius-lyone

Or actually - it for a second made me stop thinking at all..
It reminds me...of the good things.

I guess you are one of those star-people also. Or whatever names they give us...

Originally posted by siriuslyone
I have been there, done that.
Let me try to explain it is a psychic break often called a Messianic Complex.
It will pass to where you can keep silent among the unknowing.
There is a hard path one goes on once the door has opened.
Many are called, few are chosen..

oh! i missed that post..
What you are writing there makes totally sense to me... I have heard it before - but never really understood that fully.

I know the "don't say anything" rule - But i guess i forgot that part.. of the teachings.. Thank you for reminding me about it... You truly made me happy again....

And thanks to all of you - I now see...something similar within us all...
Amazing... thank you people.

While i read down the post - i can see a pattern.. And im glad you all felt the need to reply...

Originally posted by siriuslyone

Only believers would call us that, the rest call us psycho, weird and names even worse.

so true.. So badly true..

That is a GREAT avatar..Try downsizing into pixels are 100-150 and I think that will get it uploaded..you are an awesome artis!!!

it worked... 150 pixels are the secret ..

yes im pretty good at this... It's not 3D - It's hand-made..

Be happy many folks look at us like we have a parasitic head. How would you like to be the same all the time. Many do the same routine day in and day out and you can tell they dont like it by the expression in their eyes, the way they drive on the freeways, the constant fighting to prove one side is right and the other is wrong. Thats no fun.


Theres a great message in scripture that says "I will cause all things to work together for good" To me, that means nothing can mess it up. There is such a pure, powerful and loving force at work, that even what we consider the wheels falling off(the troubles or tribulations) the vehicle(life), it is all gonna work out just right.

you wont be disappointed



[edit on 28-10-2005 by magnito_student]

Originally posted by magnito_student



Theres a great message in scripture that says "I will cause all things to work together for good" To me, that means nothing can mess it up. There is such a pure, powerful and loving force at work, that even what we consider the wheels falling off(the troubles or tribulations) the vehicle(life), it is all gonna work out just right.
you wont be disappointed

Oh yes - that is the deal... What i see here... Is meaning.. Understanding..
Not a religion but a common understanding... Is what it's about.

I think your right. We have to understand... That road full of cars and...The routines... Are not fun...

You know - even fun becomes a routine... During the everyday life as it is called..
It is this explosion... Of reality... We want to happend deep inside of us.. But at the same time... We don't want to be alone about it... We want to share that new age or what is comming. Without starting a riot..a war...murder and rape...
We have to be able to share this pure and wonderful force - Where there is a common knowlegde inside. I would go so far as calling it a universal mind... A mind that we all share.

And we have to become in the knowing - that it is a natural high place to be in... And that is fun!!

All of this planet...have to become in the knowing...that it is in fact here.. That force...

Oh damn i just had a dejavu..while writing this..LOL*

dejavus are fun...I wish I could maintain one for more than 2 seconds though

I understand...even fun becomes stale and not really fun.

Think of it this way...when the truth finally appears most will fall to their knees in trembling but some of us will be like,,,,,finally. Im home


Wow...i just had one of those spine tingle thingys.

I once had one so profound I could actually see into people,,,why they did, thought, behaved the way they did(they were nothing but wounded children incased in a frail broken adult body). Afterwards I saw their true selves come forward encased in a radiant golden light..it was too wild.