Icant stand it!

I was inguaged (o, I can't even spell it!) any way the same old story boy meets girl breaks girls heart and leaves yeah whats new ....It happens evey day................

I once had a woman drive 400 miles to disengage me. Never understood that. I thought why not just write a letter?

Thats nuts why did'nt she just call you or somthing.........
I made a mastake in my last post It's so pose to say Guy breaks girls heart not girl breaks girls heart I was so up set that I couldn't type......
Ever wonder if there is only one true match for you OR if there was some one but you missed your chance........I almost want to stop trying......I mean things have gotten so bad that I've given up on just looking at guys..... OK maybe i look once and a while but whats the point if you want what you can't have......Why can't we just have our cake and eat it too!
Well the real qustion is how come people arn't loyal to one another the answer is simple they get board with me....I'm not boaring really, I Love to party as well as getting muddy with any thing that has 4 wheel drive. But come on Why not me... He ran off with some nasty 40 year old lady(ok not a lady but we'll just call her that) I'm young, sexy and fun and I am down to earth when need be. I'm ahead in my studys and still he left what did I do nothing!
some men/women just don't care who you are or what you look like they just want to play you .......I'm not saying theres no good people in this world I'm just venting..............

Yeah, like I said I never understood it either. Sorry to hear he ran away with an older woman.

I don't get these people. Are they testing your loyalty, your love, or just messing with your head?

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Christ....i once had a fiance....who dumped me.....never spoke to me for nearly seven years.......and then flew to spain from the uk to meet me and tell me she'd made an awful mistake and wondered if there was any chance we could try again!!!......she was really great and i spent a really cool 2 weeks with her but we decided that time had moved on to much......she said that it will always be her biggest regret.

Strange really...having to wait seven years for someone to let you know that really you had been worth it!

hope things buck up for you......big hug.

Guys usually leave for older women for one of two reasons...

1. sugar momma

or

2. givin' it up more often, or in freaky ways he never told you about

Once you know which this one is, you might be able to get past it better.

Gaz I am shocked you would offer the thought that a fiance would drop Miranda for a sugar momma who gives it up more often.........

Even if what you say is true.

(deleted double post)

[edit on 30-9-2005 by garyo1954]

As I said, just pointing out a common truth, with no sugar-coating...

Granted, there could be many other reasons, as we certainly don't know the details, but I'm hoping that an objective look at it will help...

Yeah he probally Thought that she was "kinkier" no problem if he wants to suck face with an old hag!! That just tells me I deserve better.....He once asked me to help him spell TRUCK. Man what was I thinkn.....I always fall for the underdog.........Thanks for the sympathy its nice to know there are others out thir in the same boat.....Oh and by the way He left me for both reasons shes more experinced and she pays his bills....And I'm sorry if i sounded like a man hater...I'm not...I go crazy with out em

He once asked me to help him spell TRUCK

Sounds like you are the one coming out of this far better, hehe...

Congrats on getting rid of this loser, and good luck with better fishing!

Okay Gaz! I give.
You are right.

A man who can't spell truck has got to be a loser. Especially if he is dating a girl who enjoys dirt bikes, bull riding, and mud!

You did good to get the guy out Miranda!

Ok first things first, I've been in a similar situation, and tbh,be glad you didn't actually follow through with the nuptuals. You may want to thank him(later on) for allowing you to observe, first hand exactly what a louse he was. Imagine 10 years down the road, you guys are married with children and he pulled a stunt like that... Kind of puts things in perspective.

Look at it as a world of new possibilities, learn from this one, and if someone exhibits the similar traits as he desplayed, then you are wiser in the long run.(No pun intended) Everyone deserves to be happy, and if there were things that bothered you about him, when you were together, imagine what it would of been like, later on. Noone ever changes, and a leopard will always reveal their spots.

You deserve the best, no matter what your status, looks, gender, etc.. Everyone deserves to be happy, find solace in knowing this is your chance to be...

I have to agree with Denial on this. The person probably did you a favor by leaving you. I'm not sure in your venting that you understand this view. We tend in our egos to believe that we are often "sitting on the only one in town", as the olde woman taught me, until events show us differently.

I don t agree with Denials position that you "deserve " the best...but you deseve to use your skills to weed out the wildlife to get the best you can get in the marketplace. Not that you deserve the best like a automatic default setting. I'll never go along with that .
Learn to weed out the wildlife in its natural habitat. You are looking for a partner with a attention span longer than a sound bite in a commerical interruption. This eliminates about 85 to 90 percent of males. Sorry ...but its true. Dont believe me...throw a copy of the sports illustrated swimsuit edition in front of the average male and watch his brain wave pattern flatline. This doesnt mean there are not good decent males out there but you just have to refine your skills to a much better working level. Work in reality ..not fantasy. Especially if you want to find a partner worth keeping a long time.
I think by your post you are still very young. No problem here you have plenty of time. Work on these skills..they will be key to your emotional and physical survival in your future. Dont let this slam dunk you into the blues/pits. Good luck and good hunting.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Things have changed so much in the last week that I don't miss him at all, well ok every once and a while when I pass by his house or see a red chevy truck but other than that I've moved on...you guys are right he did do me a favor by cheating cuz now I know what I want and he is not it!
I've met some new people and I like one of them but I have to be careful that he's not just after "something". I need some advice....you see hes 21 and I'm 17 we just met through a friend and we've been oout on afew dates....Our date consists of a movie quick dinner then we go target praticing with his riffels....sounds weird but we enjoy eachothers company. the qustion is Should I try to have a serious realationship with him(not sexual) but a "Going Steady" sort of thing? he is so different than my ex. better looking better educated and better mannered..... Im not infatuated because I know his faults and I've already excepted them. So it's not one of those he's older there fore better things I'd like him even if he was younger than me....
Advice needed

[edit on 6-10-2005 by Miranda]

I dated older women most of my life. Only occasionally did I date women my age or younger.
With older women I found that they had more life experience...good and bad...vere often more versed conversationally. Sex was good ..even great..and most had hysterectomies or thier tubes tied...little concern about getting pregnant. What one has to be careful about concerning older women is the concept that the clock is striking midnight and biology is running out and they have concerns about turning into a pumkin. This is also found among young women but is more acute in the older.
One more thing about older women...for the most part they could cook..and I mean something other than microwave or expect to be taken out to breakfast and dinner. I can cook for myself,clean and maintain a home..I dont come to a woman for this ..but it is "wonderful" to enjoy a fine meal prepared by a woman who cares. Many young men today will miss out on this experience ...it is becoming a dying art. Lost to the fast food lane...lifestyle.
Peace is the valuable commodity ..of which the above post alludes to for a man who knows the difference....not just "Piece"
It is the commodity so few men know about ..in lieu of the fast lane lifestyle..so few women too as a result of the men knowing so little about it.
Hope his helps you later in life Miranda.

Thanks,
Orangetom
When you grow accustomed to the company of older women the younger ones wont quite do.
I did not come to them for a sugar momma in the concept of getting them to support me financially. I have found very few women intrested in such for a man as a career ..no matter how olde or young they are. It is just not socially acceptable. It is just not in most of them to do so long term as a career. Socially and psychologically most women at any age are looking to marry up the economic ladder and idealy to date up the economic ladder. This status concept is very important to many womem. It is not to men per se.
Now a woman who can take care of herself and her kids can come to a man for a variety of reasons at any age...not to do with marriage. Boy toy...company...sex...etc. This makes her very much like a man.
As I have posted before...this also frees her up to come to a man for love..only. This is the very commodity so many women complain is missing from thier lives and the commodity so heavily dwelt upon in so many periodicals and programs on the tube and radio. Women are constantly bombarded by this propaganda.
I have also found women at any age to be much more territorially aware than most men. Also bad at taking rejection. Many times it is published where the men are poor at rejection..it is not always so. It is just not popular to isolate women in this category because they are the major customer base in this country. It doesnt do ecomomically to isolate your customer base with something like the truth.
In todays social structure you see women risking rejection much more than in times past. The stories are coming out. It is intresting that many are not any better than alot of men in this. It is the price to be paid for such social affluence. Dont worry ..most men are totally ignorant about this.

Are you saying he dumped me cuz he wanted a slave! thats gotta be worse than I thought.........so yeah men these days must be concided and narsistic to only think of their need! what happened to men marring younger wemon and taking care of them (not saying it was right) OR better yet LOVE what happened to LOVE? I can't belive some guy would go with an older woman just so his needs (sex, food, and house work) can be met.
How in any bodys right mind do such a thing.......I'm sorry for ranting but that hurt...It hurts to think that men only want wemon for those reasons
what happend to love? I'm beginning to think theres no such thing. It's just some childish dream......So much for happly ever after.

Originally posted by Miranda
I almost want to stop trying......

You have fixed your problem. Stop looking and BAM it will run into you. Don't try too hard and be more selective in your next try. I know that women are more selective than guys. Most of us look at the body then brains. If we can get a hotbody 8-9 or 10 in the sack that is what we will do. It is in our nature up until a certain age (different age for all). After that we are looking for a little more like what women want at an earlier age unless they just really like being used like a plastic blowup toy (sorry but sometimes the truth must be told).

I was talking to a new friend and told her about the same thing. Believe in your ideal person and be selective (if you have time on your side) and he will show if you place yourself in the right place to find him and he you.

Wow..its been awhile since Ive posted in this thread.

lol lol..sorry for laughing Miranda. That is not what I said at all and that is very provincial of you to think that is it.

I am saying that Peace is more valuable to a knowlegable man than Piece. Got it yet??? I can get Piece anywhere ...its not rare or a valuable commodity. Nor is it going to be a endangered species anytime soon.
I am saying that I can do all of the things that women have traditionally done for men...my parents made sure of this. I dont approve of a man who comes to women for these things ..cooking , cleaning etc...if this is it he is a wimp and needs to have his behind kicked up to his shoulders.
I am saying that this is what I learned in dating older women. This may not be why he went with this woman....it is what I know about older women. This knowlege in a woman means more gaurantee that a man will have Peace in his life..children or not. A woman who knows nothing of this is what we call "High Maintnence." Peace takes real commitment from a woman..Piece does not.
However I can tell by your posts that you never thought of this line of thinking but mostly from your settings on your dial.

Do not assume that your settings on your dial are the beliefs of the guy you are dating or to whom you are married. It is not his obligation to give up his belief system and go in favor or yours. Yet many women often assume that this is what men are for. To pick up on her clues and cues and perform accordingly...as a career opportunity.
I Know this by your use of the term Olde Hag. Obviously he didnt see it that way. The tendency of alot of people ..male and female is to blame someone else rather than look inside to see if we missed something in our conduct and belief system. In otherwords we are operating off a set of givens that turned out not to be true. If someone disagrees..kill the messenger.
One God Jesus makes some good points except that I disagree with his assessment that women are more selective than guys. This cannot be true..if it were so ...the Oprah, Jerry,Maury,Montel genre would not have such a huge audience of drama queens. They would be out of a job.
I am not saying that the guys are all that bright ...no way..I just dont buy this about the women either.
Also his point about not having time on your side..this is where you must be particularly careful. It is easier to make a mistake under this pressure. Ive seen many women do this when the clock begins to strike midnight cinderella. Many men too.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by Miranda
He once asked me to help him spell TRUCK.

I actually once had a boyfriend asked me how to spell ORANGE. :bnghd:

I'm no longer with him either...

And I have no qualms with that. I'm better off without him.

Hahahahahahahah truck... I can't get over how funny that is... I think you're better off too!

[edit on 12/27/2005 by Alcor]