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Joking On Being Terrorised is This Piece Funny?

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posted on Aug, 6 2005 @ 11:27 PM
Just thought I would share with you this draft article that I will probably sell to whoever wants the copyright. Copyright all rights reserved....

Today 4 suspected terrorists were arrested, and later spread eagled by armed police so that reporters could interview them.
“We just wanted to prove that the invasion of Afghanistan was justified” said one of the bewildered terrorist’s moments after his bomb had failed to detonate.
Another added “after our Muslim brothers heroically sacrificed their lives on 9/11 towards bringing Messiah Bush another crushing victory over the infidel American people we thought we could do the same here”.

Meanwhile the Messiah Rumsfeld was quick to play down any terrorists connections with Iraq. “Terrorists fight because they want to terrorise; not because they want to support our invasion of Iraq” he said.
When asked if there were any terrorists in Iraq he checked his watch and said “no; but we have reason to believe that there’s plenty of people out there who would welcome them as liberators with flowers”.
Messiah Blair joined in with Rumsfeld and other world leaders in condemning the attempted terrorist outrage; calling it “old Labour”.
He said “You know sometimes I look at these people and think “I could be one of them” but then you look at where I really am, and realise that democracy is the better way forward” he also said “these people want to divide us from the United States by causing us to start even more wars than they do” their agenda is a backward old Labour one which is obsessed with ever greater public spending, on including ever more countries into the British Commonwealth.
New Labour on the other hand believes in the privatisation of small nations through working with our allies such as the United States towards installing dysfunctional democracies and corrupt governments of their own”. When asked if “any of these would one day be nice places to live in” he said “only time will tell”.

At a later hastily arranged press conference Messiah Blair was asked “how the people of London should deal with the threat of terrorism?” “stay united” said the Messiah before adding “behind me”.
“We cannot let these suspected would-be suicide-bomber fanatical Muslim fundamentalists terrorist extremists threaten our British way of life.
However upon cross examination I regret to inform you that the police and security services where able to conclude those in police custody had close links with fundamentalist Iran. They where also able to reveal invaluable information about the countries nuclear programme.”
“At 12 o’clock I spoke to the Iranian ambassador and asked that they dismantle their nuclear programme by 1 p.m. Well I have to tell you now that there has been no dismantling of their nuclear programme and that subsequently this nation is now at war”
A startled journalist asked “but how can Britain ever be expected to defeat the nation of Turban Tyranny?” There was a quit pause as the Messiah looked through his history book before replying “we shall fight them in the mountains, we shall fight them in the caves, and on the hillsides and on the beaches; not to mention the streets of Liverpool. Never will this nation surrender!!” there a was roaring cheer, followed by live Foxed News footage of B52 bombers taking off to deliver the first payload of death and destruction against the evil land of Turban Tyranny”.
Also in today’s paper: Eminem arrested after shooting a Muslim during his latest album recording, Britney Spears says “I like men in uniform” and empty laughing gas canisters are discovered in the conference room used by Messiah Bush in last nights “State of the Draconian Address”-terrorism suspected as the likely cause.
Also in today’s “Finding Osamo” feature Professor Rupert Murdoch joins our campaign for comedy to be included under the new terrorist act; and explains how humour can be an unlikely weapon of mass destruction, before asking the deadly seriouis question of “could Osama Dim Laden be building a joke in the mountains?”

As ever this paper would like to repeat its warning to terrorists that “bad news sells”, and would ask that any terrorist reading, consider those before them who (unwillingly or not) became Marta’s of their excellencies Bush & Blair and all the Zionist aims that lie before them.

posted on Aug, 7 2005 @ 01:21 AM
What is the point of this thread?

I would really like to know.

posted on Aug, 7 2005 @ 03:10 AM
The point is that terrorism is making our current leaders more popular when the terrorists are the very people who are trying to change the policies of the western world. I'm saying terrorist die as Marta’s not to Islam but to the right wing agendas of many politicians.
I mean being a politician dealing with terrorism has got to be quite easy you just to condemn it and everyone agree with you. Every now they get it wrong like the Spanish prime Minster who was accused of lying when he said the Madrid bombings where the work of ETA not Islamist extremism, but generally they don't mess up like that and sure enough lessons would of been learnt.

I'm trying to poke some fun at them, and our leaders desire to war hero. Have I been successful? Obviously there is major room for improvement. I want your feed back; do you agree with that the terrorists are making our current leaders stronger? Very sorry about changing some various famous lines should I have kept them the same to keep it simple?

Hope you like the article, but at this rate I won't be posting one like it again (well on this site anyway).

posted on Aug, 7 2005 @ 04:53 AM
Bring it on some more you have IMO the right end of the stick and by messing up all the usual cliches into an excellently confusing story you are doing IMO a good job.

Pssssst. . . . . . If you laugh at Terror it goes away. .. . Pass it on (shhh)

[edit on 7-8-2005 by Roy Robinson Stewart]

posted on Aug, 9 2005 @ 05:25 AM
I see
And I have read your article

Note the true answer is that the freezer holds the fridges ice as a liquid enhancer for male 'inproovment'. And yes I have spelled inproovment wrong, but oh well. And what I have just said is about as usfull as everyone elses replys to your story,

I thought it was interesting, and proves a list of contained notes that show many points, as well as the British reporters-

Thanks for Writing

The Surrealist

I wont be around to watch people flame, if, they feel like it. I will be gone eating, as a past time

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