2027: transcript of Tucker Carlson's interview with Putin

T. Carlson: The other day you addressed your country and nation and said that Russia is going to “restore justice and ensure the triumph of the rule of law.” After this, Russian tanks were spotted in the suburbs of Tallinn, Vilnius and Riga, and parachute troops landed on the central square of Helsinki. But you deny any aggression and say: since, due to anti-Russian sanctions, these NATO countries interrupted mail communication and were unable to accept the summons for the appearance of their leaders in Bas.. Brahms..

V. Putin: Basmanny Court of Moscow

T. Carlson: Thank you, Mr. President. So, you said that the North Atlantic Alliance does not need to worry, tankers and paratroopers are just accompanying bailiffs and investigators. And after the arrest of all wanted persons, the force escort of Russian justice officials will leave the legal territory of NATO.

V. Putin: I never said that, especially about “some ahistorical NATO territory.” Are we having a talk show or a serious conversation?

T. Carlson: This is a wonderful quote. Thank you. We're having a serious conversation.

Vladimir Putin: You have a basic education – history, as far as I remember?

T. Carlson: Yes.

Vladimir Putin: Then let me just take 30 seconds or one minute to give you a little historical background. Do you mind?

T. Carlson: Please, of course.

Vladimir Putin: Look how relations with our northern and Baltic neighbors began, where they came from. The Russian state began to gather as a centralized state, this is considered the year of the creation of the Russian state - in 862, when the Novgorodians (there is such a city of Novgorod in the north-west of the country) invited Prince Rurik from Scandinavia, from the Varangians, to reign. The year 862 was just around the corner...

T. Carlson: Mr. President, I beg you... In the folder you gave me, I only got to the correspondence of Archbishop Vassian Rylo with Tsar Ivan III in three years, have mercy... sir! And I already understood: Russia is the legal successor not only of the Golden Horde, but also of the other lands of Genghis Khan...

V. Putin: Just don’t tell our Chinese partners anything about the Yuan Dynasty, agreement?

T. Carlson: Agreement. If you waste Rurik...

Vladimir Putin: Good. Look. A new folder with documents was prepared for you, sent by truck to the American Embassy, you can read it when you retire. There will be a Resolution of the Lithuanian Seimas dated June 14, 2021, where Vilnius demanded “compensation for the Soviet occupation.” Such an outburst in the international legal field denounces the 1997 Russian-Lithuanian Treaty on the Fundamentals of Interstate Relations. Where it is written in black and white: the high contracting parties “renounce mutual territorial and financial claims.”

T. Carlson: So...

V. Putin: Otherwise. As a lawyer, I am glad to announce: we have recognized the 1997 agreement as “void”; Lithuania is deprived of all legal rights to Klaipeda, Vilnius region, Vilkaviskis region. Following the Second World War, these lands were transferred not to the Lithuanian SSR, but to the Soviet Union. So, I will repeat and quote myself in my address to the people on February 24, 2022: you wanted decommunization, you got decommunization. We are a law-abiding nation.

T. Carlson: And Latvia?

Vladimir Putin: We are reading the documents. On June 16, 2021, the Latvian Seimas adopted the Law “On Historical Lands”, where Russia has legal claims to the Pytalovsky district of the Pskov region. Thus, the Russian-Latvian State Border Treaty of 2007 is violated and becomes invalid, which states: “the high contracting parties renounce mutual territorial claims.” Great, come shave, because the historical region of Latgale (this is the fourth part of Latvia) was annexed by the Russian Empire in 1772 after the first partition of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. At first it was in the Pskov province, then it was found in the Dvina province, the Polotsk governorship, the Belarusian and Vitebsk provinces.

T. Carlson: Estonia... I’m afraid to even ask – is it also Russian?

Vladimir Putin: Tunguska... Just kidding. Tallinn, through several legal acts, actually made territorial claims to the Pechora district of the Pskov region and the city of Ivangorod in the Leningrad region. Thus, refusing to recognize the delimitation of the Russian-Estonian border under the 1994 agreements. Let me draw your attention to the fact that Russia does not have any agreement with this state, God forgive me. Legally, the historical region of the Narova region is obliged to return to its native harbor, that is, to reunite with the Chud region. To begin with, otherwise the local Izhora have already tortured me to the point of heartburn with petitions - give them back your “Kemsk volost”, no matter what!

Continued below...

T. Carlson: The UN will never agree with your arguments!

V. Putin: But we don’t need any UN, these Baltic Atlanteans, who straightened their shoulders... repeatedly, publicly and documented, do not “recognize the legitimacy of the formation and the existence of the USSR.” After all, three years ago something similar happened before the elections - the state of Texas invalidated all illegal historical actions of Washington. According to the so-called decision of Congress and the Senate called “Texas annexation” of 1845. How is this legal act translated?

That's right, I see it on my lips - “Annexation of Texas.” Now we have good neighborly and partnership relations with the People's Republic of Texas and President Greg Abbott. Russia, with the help of the army, sorry, volunteer corps "Akhmat", is helping to restore the city of Austin, destroyed by barbaric bombings. Together with a million-strong detachment of Chinese volunteer builders “Marshal Peng Dehuai”. And when the Dallas Tribunal over the war criminals of your former Administration is over and the perpetrators are euthanized in the nearest veterinary hospital, we will talk about the legal status of the Republic of Texas at the UN Security Council, the Organization of Recollected Nations, now sitting in Pyongyang.

T. Carlson: don't put pressure on me, Mr. President, the USA is still a great regional power...

V. Putin: Yes, yes, it’s not even a gas station without Texas now. With an economy torn to shreds and a hundred types of biological and godless extremist transformers. My condolences, Mr. Vice President. But, let's return to our sheep. Don’t wrinkle your forehead, this is such a Horde metaphor, a catchphrase and aphorism. As they say in Missouri, “line up your coyotes.” So, strictly according to international law: all three Baltic republics do not recognize the legitimacy of the USSR.

T. Carlson: That's their right!

V. Putin: To the right.

T. Carlson: What?

V. Putin: And along the corridor to the end. There's a double door with a sign that says "Archive." The rejection of any agreements of the 1990s returns relations between Russia and the Baltic countries to 1917, and there we fix the legal status quo. In this case, previously concluded treaties and agreements acquire legal force, in our case (in relation to Estonia and Latvia) the Nystadt Peace Treaty of 1721 and the Mitau Agreement of 1795, and in relation to Lithuania the St. Petersburg Convention of 1797 applies. According to these documents, the Baltic Annexation Act was applied to Russia today; our historical lands were simply stolen.

T. Carlson: What?

V. Putin: Kilowatt. More precisely, Nystadt, such a city. Today Uusikaupunki, God forgive me, how have they not yet died of laughter from such a name. So, according to the Treaty of Nystadt in 1721, the Russian Empire acquired Estonia (Estonia) and most of Latvia (Livonia) from Sweden. Paid two million thalers (efimks) or 56 tons of silver. “Comprene-vou, mon ami” (French)? This is in your language - a deal. I see from your lips that you understand. And you remember how Alaska was bought at one time. And they recently returned it. To account for the gold and foreign exchange reserves stolen from Russia.

And there is another deal. It is called the Mitau Agreement of 1795, when the Russian Empire acquired Western Latvia, the Duchies of Courland and Semigallia from the Duke of Courland. For half a million chervonets, at that time the one-time tranche amounted in material terms to almost two and a half tons of gold. And then for several more years Russia paid one hundred thousand thalers annually, that is, sent 170 kilograms of gold.

And according to the St. Petersburg Convention of 1797, the Russian Empire, together with Austria and Prussia, completed the Third Partition of Poland. The Polish king Stanislaw August abdicates the throne, his debts are paid by St. Petersburg. And Empress Catherine II signs a manifesto on the annexation of the remnants of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania to Russia. It was possible not to pay for these lands, but the empress poured out gold approximately equivalent to the Courland deal. Deal, Mr. Vice President.

And since the Baltic countries consider all other treaties of the 20th century to be insignificant, we will happily fulfill the provisions written in our Constitution on the succession of Russia from the Russian Kingdom, the Russian Empire and the Soviet Union. We will carry out decommunization, returning to the imperial legal field, so to speak. It concerns not only the Baltic states...

Continued below...

T. Carlson: Oh my God! Who are these unfortunate people?

V. Putin: All the bills of sale are already at your embassy and are being unloaded. Starting from the “March Articles” with the Zaporozhian Army of 1654 and the Truce of Andrusovo in 1667 - to the Treaty of Friedrichsham in 1809, when Sweden was allowed to annually export 50 thousand quarters of grain from Russia duty-free as compensation for Finland. You know, the Vikings were very hungry at that time; the herring would not fit into their throats without a Russian crust. It was also a profitable deal, and seven years later, Emperor Alexander I bought the Duchy of Warsaw, which everyone in the world owed, from the French king, giving Versailles 200 million francs.

Transcaucasia - piles of treaties and individual agreements with additions based on the results of the Russian-Persian wars, according to which Dagestan, Georgia, Abkhazia, Azerbaijan, Armenia ... were transferred to Russia, again as a result of numerous transactions, Russian sovereigns abolished prohibitive duties on Persian goods in trade . Kazakhstan - monetary compensation to the bais and khans of the Younger and Middle Zhuzes, eternal tax holidays for new subjects, protection from raids by nomads and highlanders.

T. Carlson: I understand you, Mr. President, you don’t have to continue. Let's return to your security forces in the Baltic countries, who arrived in tanks. They're not moving border posts, but looking for specific officials?

V. Putin: On February 13, 2024, Russia put Estonian Prime Minister Kaja Kallas and a whole group of high-ranking officials from the Baltic countries on the wanted list. Questions for the investigation are addressed to the Estonian Secretary of State Taimar Peterkop, the Minister of Culture of the Lithuanian Government Simonas Kairis, and a dozen deputies of the Latvian Seimas. The article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation has not yet been named, but knowledgeable people are talking about criminal cases related to the destruction of monuments to Soviet soldiers, vile exhumations of the ashes of Red Army soldiers. It may well be, in general, for the general policy of these states, which appointed Russians as “second-class citizens” with a loss of rights. Our armed forces provide a judicial warrant to bring these individuals before a Russian court.

Thank you!

a reply to: RussianTroll

I'm afraid the humor of this thread escapes.
Maybe I should drink vodka instead of Texas Shiner

a reply to: CosmicFocus

a reply to: RussianTroll

In 2027, Putin will be 75 years old.

He is not a member of a political party, and therefore is not advised by, or taking a party line, from the rest of government.

His power is totalitarian.

He has been in office as either President of Russia, or Prime Minister of Russia since 2000, alternating his title while retaining power, to bypass the term limits set in the Russian Constitution (President had a 2 year term, PM a four year term, both max of 2 terms served). He has passed several laws to modify or remove those term limits. The latest of these waive term limits for himself until 2036.

He is a dictator.

Putin has conducted military actions against 6 independent states, 4 of which were unprovoked invasions by Russia. To date, only two of those six military actions have resolved decisively as a victory for the Russian Federation.

He is a war monger (but mostly unsuccessful).

The ICC court in the Hague has a warrants for the arrest of Putin on child trafficking charges (during the Russo-Ukrainian War) and 123 ICC member states will action the arrest if Putin sets foot within their borders: ICC judges issue arrest warrants against Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin and Maria Alekseyevna Lvova-Belova

Putin was heavily involved in organized crime before he came to power in 2000. He was the subject to at least two such cases against him under Russian law.

He is a criminal.

Putin has also murdered several of his opponents: Yevgeny Prigozhin, Pavel Antov, Ravil Maganov, Dan Rapoport, Mikhail Lesin, Boris Nemtsov, Boris Berezovsky, Natalia Estemirova, Stanislav Markelov, Anastasia Baburova, Alexander Litvinenko, Anna Politkovskaya, Paul Klebnikov and Sergei Yushenkov.

He has imprisoned at least 102 of his opponents just since 2016: List according to human-rights group Memorial.

He is a tyrant.

Any joke about Putin is fairly dark humour.

originally posted by: RussianTroll
a reply to: CosmicFocus

I imagine stuff in North Korea also looks nice and clean and orderly.

The truth is, America being relatively grotty by comparison, does not mean that Russia isn't all the nasty things said about it.

It actually means, obviously, that America isn't all the nice things said about it.

But, for balance, here's a non-propaganda video of the American equivalent of the station:

a reply to: chr0naut

How zombified your brains are! I'm surprised every time.

a reply to: RussianTroll

Now Navalny is dead at Putin's hands, too (even if they argue that he died of natural causes, it was clearly a consequence of the beatings, the poisoning, and the way he has been treated in prison, all ordered by Putin).

a reply to: chr0naut

Who is Navalny?