posted on Oct, 2 2021 @ 07:29 AM
Hello all. Long long time creeper(somewhere btwn 07-09). ..of all life's situations that end up less than ideal. Three things I've boiled them down
to. Ignorance/Arrogance/Negligence. Combinations often times in a progressive form. With that said..without these three..less than ideal situations
may not be so readily available for the eye of the be holder. Without these seeming imperfections(areas seen inferior/not good/bad/inefficient) would
we be left with zero room for improvement(boring)? I believe so. For myself this is impossible, there is ALWAYS room for improvement. So, does it
exist? Perfection, and if so..what's it to you?
Through subjective anecdotal exps (still having a "normal" relationship with my father after divorce) use as a metric for how a loved one should
live(sister/mother haven't spoken in over a decade..toss in the two grandbabies/grandmother who've yet to meet)...a "why can't you at least speak to
her" .state of mind towards my sis for a long time(my metric).
I realized my hypocrisy...and how my metric was holding me back..yeah I had a relationship with my father..but I was rude/snarkey/ very ungrateful in
retrospect. Luckily he's still in my life..with my sis/mom and the thought she would possibly wait until the chance was no longer to mend or
whatev..that shidd kicked me in that nads..alot. especially when a genuine great fun moment with my nephew and niece took/takes place its always
immediately followed by a "damn, mom(their grandma) has had NONE..zip zero zilch nada..not a single one of these joyous moments..still kills me..Upped
my metric within my most important relationships(family and close friend(s)..and especially my pops. We all have room for improvement and I'm so very
greatful as hard as it is to come to terms with the whole situation. I fancy myself a conscious objective observer. What bitter irony it is to be
relagated to your fancys when you no longer fancy them. I wanted to fix them so bad for me really..and my mom and such. It still hurts..but instead of
a single tear or two..a half-cocked grin. It was the bitter that lead me to become sweeter.
..journaling a life plan for providing provisions of good food/good drink/good smoke. You'll be hard-pressed finding any individual unfond of the
three. ..I enjoy co-mingeling them myself.
I very much am looking forward to my first bout of actively participating in "DENYING IGNORANCE"..rather the objective observer I've been for over a
decade. Peace, and good health, happiness, and some wealth, I wish these things for you and yours.
edit on 2-10-2021 by emp89 because: (no