What is there for a young man these days...

I was happy...and have no regrets about my youth...other than I should've been less reckless with other people's hearts.

“I should've been less reckless with other people's hearts.“


I’ve met a few women in earlier years who should frame this and hang it over their mantle.

Just sayin....



a reply to: IAMTAT

originally posted by: AnnihilateThis
I guess my overall question is, what would some of you be doing now, if you were in your 20's again?

As morbid as this all sounds, I don't think I would still be around if I had grown up in this particular climate. If I hit my 20's around this stage in history I would probably be swinging from a rope somewhere at some point.

I was having a chat with my wife last night as I was just looking through some amusing posts on another site and some Tinder statistics popped up. Looking at that and the general behavior of people these days I told her that if something were to happen to her or between us at this point I would be single for the rest of my life. We also talked children recently and if we still had the same opinion on not having any. Turns out that we both agree that it would be even worse to have a child now than when we got together almost 20 years ago just based on how the world is turning out.

I think we're heading for a period that at some point will be looked back upon as a dark age, I think we've been heading that way for a while just a bit more slowly. I hope the decline slows more so I can enjoy the next 40-50 years of life but all it seems to do is speed up the more I look.

I have a sister-in-law that turned 21 this year, have watched her grow up into a wonderful person, and all I can do is pity her. I can't begin to fathom having that much life left ahead of me, especially when the life I have left ahead of me seems so bleak. I know that in some folks shoes if they looked at my life they would say I would have no reason to have a bleak outlook of the future. I've been lucky with some of the choices I've made and as it stands I'm in a reasonably good spot personally and professionally, yet I find myself in a world that is no longer what I once thought it was and still question the value of belonging to it.

So to the OP, the questioning doesn't stop in your 20's, it may ramp up again as you approach 40 like it has with me over the last year since I turned 39.

a reply to: AnnihilateThis
Perhaps it is the nature of the beast. I could have written this in my 20's. I could have written this now, in my 50's.

I'm an outsider for lack of better words but didn't fully realize til covid came along and cut me from all true connection to meaning. So, from my perspective I will say the young years are really tough but if I had to do it all over I'd cut myself some slack.

First and foremost, go easy on yourself! The square peg will never fit the round hole and the world is run by conformists/followers/control freaks who brainwash us from the beginning that we need to fit in. You have to create your own space where you fit and it may mean eliminating a lot of dross from life.

There is always a lesson in strife but have the patience to wait for the understanding. It can take a lifetime. I thought I had it figured out til covid came along so I guess there are more lessons up ahead.

originally posted by: PiratesCut
“I should've been less reckless with other people's hearts.“


I’ve met a few women in earlier years who should frame this and hang it over their mantle.

Just sayin....



a reply to: IAMTAT

Just as I shouldn't have given my heart so freely. This goes both ways.

I spent the first half of my 20's doing drugs and chasing ladies, and the second half I went back to school and started my career. I'm only partway into my 30's now, so this isn't a deep dive into the past for me.

I was a pretty big shi# head for many of those years. I treated people badly, I took advantage of people who gave me opportunities, and I let people down. I still re-live my low moments, and it takes considerable effort to put the past behind me. If I had the chance to do things differently, I would literally do everything differently, starting from the moment I turned 20. However, I doubt I would have been strong or wise enough to make any different choices, knowing what I knew then. It's a catch 22, because you would only make better choices due to the wisdom gained from your mistakes.

I like to think I have things going for myself now - I have a good job with real responsibility, people who depend on me, and more than a few dollars that I can rub together. However, I know how easily it can all slide.

Since you're asking for advice:

Keep making music, and set the bar high, but don't only make music. Challenge yourself and do what you didn't think you could.

Just coming back to this post now, and I want to give a big ol Thank You to everyone who contributed here.

All of these replies have really warmed my heart and I am really glad to be a part of this community.

I think the biggest thing I need to do is Let Go, and dive deeper into the Now.

To have a little faith in the universe, and get out of my own way. I've shed many things to get to where I am, and of course the few things I hold on to are the hardest to let go of.

The past few weeks alone, I've felt myself undergoing some sort of change, and I just have to let it happen.

Thank you again to everyone who popped in and read through my rant.

You've all left a genuine impact on me today!

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

It's all temporary.

What do you mean by 'there'? Think about it. Are you talking about a city? The planet?

Are you perhaps pointing to life itself? The Universe? Eternity?

Are these just concepts to you, or are you actually exploring them, in however a small way?

How about your own imagination, thoughts, process?

Youth is temporary bodily quality. You will experience it over and over again, in every incarnation (of course it's debatable where 'youth' begins and ends, so very short incarnations might be excluded).

Man is the same - only temporary. You are not 'man', you are not 'young', that's what the body you currently have is.

Do you have any idea how fleeting 'currently' is? You are like a ball that's been thrown high into the air - at first, you just go upwards, and enjoy it, then your speed starts to drop, and for awhile - a very SHORT awhile, that can feel like it goes on forever (but it doesn't) - you are 'still'.

There you are, in the air, pondering what's life. You don't see the upcoming fall, even when you begin the descent, because it's gradual, and time feels 'slowed down'.

Right now, you are that ball at its peak, high in the air - you have no answers, you feel like 'youth will go on forever' - time seems to be standing still, and you are free to ponder the future.

Without asking for permission, however, and quicker than you think, now that you are in the stillness called 'youth', where time has no meaning and aging is just some 'future concept', a mental construct, and has nothing to do with you, as the ball doesn't even anticipate a 'fall', as it's not yet falling, it's just enjoying the scenery and being up there.

You forget that you must go back to the hand that threw you up in the air - you have to fall to do that.

What is there for a young man? You seem to have at least 'process'. You are processing something, so you are active. Something is happening.

Enjoy the scenery while you can, before the inevitable descent begins. Don't be in a hurry to figure it all out. A big part of life is being in the process of trying to figure out things. You can't always find the final answers and put everything to rest. You need to keep exploring, and the answers will change. Your perspective changes, as your chakras open up while others close, and your viewpoint and experiences mold your values and understanding of reality.

Life is not a textbook you can just fill with the right answers and close, and then go sip margaritas in the Universe.

It's an arduous process that doesn't always give you the easy answers, but when it gives you answers, it's something you can't put to words, and no one outside of you can understand.

Enjoy the journey, even the fall can be fun if you take it the right way.

It is, indeed, a beautiful fall this year, the leaves are red, orange, yellow and other bright shades.

a reply to: joejack1949

It's a catch 22, because you would only make better choices due to the wisdom gained from your mistakes.

Sounds more like a rationalization to make yourself feel better.

I didn't do drugs, and I gained wisdom. You don't have to be an á-hole to gain wisdom, you don't have to do drugs to gain experience, and you can make mistakes without it being that stupid and destructive.

Also, you can make good choices without putting yourself and your body through DRUGS, sheesh.

Not everyone survives THAT trip (no pun intended).

Many people 'die' (too tired to explain that death of body is not death of self, try to figure it out) from drugs, others go to prison and never get out, and yet others lose their sanity or mental faculties, and live as either a raving lunatic, under heavy, debilitating 'pharma drug-medication', get tardive dyskinesia, lose a limb or eye.. well, I don't have to spell it out.

Drugs are _extremely_ dangerous, and you can't reliably go down THAT path and emerge 'wise and victorious', so the way you walk about it is a bit too flippant, considering how serious a thing it really is. Drug scene is also full of evil monsters who will exploit you to the max., as much as they possibly can. You never have friends, you just have fellow junkies that always prioritize drugs over you.

So don't talk like everyone does it, or everyone can do it, or it's normal to just 'do drugs when you're young, and then you'll be wise'. Many young people won't be there after that path has taken its toll on the. You are the LUCKY EXCEPTION.

You could 100% be wise and experienced without having taken drugs, you could've made OTHER choices and still learned a lot. You're talking like drugs are the only path to wisdom, and I think this is absolutely ridiculous and disgusting lie to give to people.

a reply to: Shoujikina

Yes you like to project wisdom and use it to judge the character of others.

I’ve found those who speak of their own wisdom generally have none.

a reply to: Shoujikina

I think you took what I said out of context. The whole point of my post was to say "I would change everything about my 20's, but given what I knew then, I wasn't wise enough to make those choices." I am certainly not saying "do drugs when you're young, and then you'll be wise."

I'm glad you never went through the tribulations that I did, and thank you for saying that I'm lucky.