Why the big secret? Are you really that awful inside?

Hi guys, I literally never post or respond. When I do it's a p#take or humour usually and looking back, always dumb. This will most likely be the same, maybe I'm sick or something.. covid probably.. don't know if it's a rant or a thread starter yet.. but it's definitely rant related so I may have that bit correct haha

Mods please move it or delete it, if that's needed.

I feel I may be throwing myself to the wolves with this one, strangely I've nothing to lose except myself these days so.. I'm going to pee right into the wind.

Lots of you here are way above my head or think you are, but most visitors I feel probably aren't. A few maybe know me personally but don't know it on here.

I'm not gonna lie, I have zero educated input at all past what I've seen in my very short 40 odd years, any views are entirely my own. I've not had much main stream education and haven't watched TV seriously for maybe over 20yrs. Disadvantagely advantaged if that's even a word.. sounds like it should be.

Gotta get yourselves clicking into this one. Even if it's just one of you, that's one more than before. I only walked through the door because it was pointed out to me, before that I didn't even see a door in the first place. Is this the door you seek?

What's the deal with Asperger's? I'm in my 40's and honestly it's hit me like a frying pan. I'm on my way towards a formal diagnosis but in reality it's not a needed confirmation and I probably don't want it anyway. I've always known I was 'a bit different' never understood why.. probably other issues but that's the one that cripples me the most.

It's becoming a bigger better wider known issue more recently and the more people I talk with about not only my own problems but listening to theirs also... There's a bit of a pandemic going on... It definitely seems.

It's a very visually noticeable illness, if you can actually call it that.. I disagree personally, it's an added ability but what comes with it is poor 'eyesight' a huge struggle with the more menial ways of life, usually down to my own bad habits and others around me and our combined total lack of understanding.

The whole 'hidden disability' thing, taking your eyes away from the visible ones? Yet it goes unseen by almost everyone, even when they have it, and once you know it's blindingly dam obvious if you have it, it's very hard to even grasp.

Now my views have been literally blown to bits recently, how the hell could I get this far through my life and not see it myself? How also are the majority around me completely blind to it? I see the ones that aren't, and have fell victim many many times to them, willingly.. stranger still is, once you see it, you realise you've always seen it, all around you. You just didn't put the time into yourself enough to learn you. It's honestly tragic. Tragic magic.

Shall I harness it for my own gain like most would? Not a chance. I'd rather give out free upgrades and a one to one lesson on its use.

Being a conspiracy forum they throw loads at us, poke fun, ignore the truth, belittle etc, I've been guilty too. Helps keep the self realisation away, right? You've seen all the media tricks, even the ones you haven't noticed yet, you've seen them. I've thought I was crazy thinking am I the only one that sees this ###! And people chase it, loving it .. me and you included! You'll drive yourself crazy just seeing it, following the signals, the signs, it's everywhere. Lyrics, music videos, the music itself, TV, films, pictures, books... myself, some of you also, I can say who, guess at a few more, but I won't.. even see the moments of waking up happening in the entertainment industry. Media isn't just news channels and papers.

It's mind blowingly clever, so very simple but massively complex to understand.

Them - Do you want the red pill or the blue pill?

Me now - no mate I wanna know why tf u offering me pills..

You - oooh the red ones edgy... Gimme that one - also me until very recently...

It's all there to distract you, so they attract you to the distraction further into the darkness and make it feel like you want it or need it, I think I probably know why they've tried to keep this quiet, not my monkeys..

I can probably have my own circus now, should I want it.

I played a game with a friend, spot the aspie, hate that term but X-Men has been used.. I would "lol" but I'm not quite sure that's even a joke... He didn't understand how it's possible for me to see it physically, I also don't understand how. I'm not magic, psychic, clever or lucky!

I thought hard about popular faces we knew, gave a name and searched to see if I was correct. We stopped looking once we saw several dozen one after another.. so shall I blow ya mind further says me.. I can tell you who has it and knows and who has it and doesn't. Just by visuals. It's not even a secret which makes it even more bizarre to understand. I can read the feelings and project my own should I choose too. Is that normal? Probably completely natural.. probably being a joke word there...

If people don't understand autism they should probably watch a few YouTube videos about it as soon as they can at the least.

If it's anything relative to anyone interested, I'm reasonably high on the iq test 150-160+ on a good day, and also score massively high on the aq test and similar on the related ones. To a point i'm quite an analytical type but only within my own understanding. I'm not really want focused either. I am a needs based person, I know some of you get this stuff, took me 43 yrs to see it and too many times I almost wasn't strong enough. Too many.

Undiagnosed the average life expectancy is 36 yrs old and mainly affects males. The added pressures of society is killing your children and you don't even know they're sick. It's not a sympathy thread but with what I now know, I'm lucky I haven't spent my time watching TV!

Depression and anxiety were my best friend, not seen them so much now I know how to stop letting them come round and play. They still come round but a polite no thankyou is all it takes.

Even if only 1 person bothers themselves enough and Googles "what is Asperger's" then writing this was worth it. Mods included.

It's probably been the most rewarding reading and viewing of my life so far. You'll certainly get more enjoyment watching films afterwards that you've already seen, watching them play their games with you, a comedy of horrors if u will.. a handful of you know exactly what I mean. Regurgitated bull# dressed in a different suit and sold over and over to the willing sheep. You all know the media preys on your feelings and emotions, some of you ust don't understand how they then rearrange them same feelings and emotions.

Or

I am just plain crazy like I'm told. In which case... I'll have the red one please

Oh and trump won! Most just think it's all about an election still, to you, maybe it is. To me? It's one man that rocked the hell out of the whole worlds thought process, love him or hate him.. thats quite some ability.

Btw im neither a fan nor a hater, merely an observer in this train wreck of existence. It's not a political thread.

If you take advantage of someone who's unaware of your manipulation, you're the devil in every sense and there will always be a bigger light that's coming for you. The eyes change to fear once they know you know. Rightfully so. The balance has been off for too long, the darkside is scared. Worldwide pandemic.

a reply to: solentsunrise

S&F for that last paragraph alone

Writing like that publicly was a huge huge step for me and hopefully a strong ladder for atleast one. Thankyou for reading and for your reply

a reply to: solentsunrise


I'm in my early 40s. I've started to gain a deeper realization , or come to a clearer understanding, about a lot of things lately. I'm not even talking about anything conspiracy related.


I feel like I can grasp concepts quicker than ever before. I know the meaning behind the words instead of just the meaning of the words used.


I was always aware of the lack of this possibility, but I consigned myself to the passage of time and that age hopefully brings a bit more wisdom. Well, it does.


So what I would say to you is that it can be overwhelming at first like a floodgate being opened. Your ability to see things clearer is flowering. My advice is let it happen on its own accord and don't let it stress you out too much.

Also, separate this ability from what it is you perceive through this ability, as so terrible.

It also enhances the beauty and the joy there is to be had. Separate the ability from that too.

You are utilizing your senses closer to its full potential.

1978 for me. I get you, every letter. You sound very similar to how I help my friends up too. Almost exactly as I would say it myself too. It's surreal.

It's like a brand new view on every single thing, maybe it's just called being happy and I've never been!

Thanks bones, very welcome response also

originally posted by: 19Bones79
a reply to: solentsunrise


I'm in my early 40s. I've started to gain a deeper realization , or come to a clearer understanding, about a lot of things lately. I'm not even talking about anything conspiracy related.


I feel like I can grasp concepts quicker than ever before. I know the meaning behind the words instead of just the meaning of the words used.


I was always aware of the lack of this possibility, but I consigned myself to the passage of time and that age hopefully brings a bit more wisdom. Well, it does.


So what I would say to you is that it can be overwhelming at first like a floodgate being opened. Your ability to see things clearer is flowering. My advice is let it happen on its own accord and don't let it stress you out too much.

Also, separate this ability from what it is you perceive through this ability, as so terrible.

It also enhances the beauty and the joy there is to be had. Separate the ability from that too.

You are utilizing your senses closer to its full potential.

Life, hmm, as one opens the door of self truth, what do we see, find and hear. The umbrella in the forest can let the light of awareness into our thoughts. Let it be the truth that our soul searches for.

originally posted by: Terpene
a reply to: solentsunrise

S&F for that last paragraph alone

Same.

a reply to: solentsunrise


Ummm…if you have Asperger’s syndrome…

Yet see through the lens clearly…


Then what’s the cognitive defect…the rest of the world owns…?

I think…sometimes perhaps it might be best to be…of the herd…doing what herds do best…what herds do very well indeed…


Off to the charnel house…or is that abattoir…?

One can hardly keep up…







YouSir

I don’t often wade through post like this even though I am guilty of making them myself but this time I did. I can hardly find a flaw with what you stated it mirrors many of my own feelings. As others have said the last paragraph seems to hold a strange weight in my mind I like it and it sums it up so well.

a reply to: solentsunrise

a reply to: solentsunrise

TBH you sound quite sane, you could probably skip the diagnosis unless you desperately crave the pharmacy fix.

a reply to: solentsunrise

If you take advantage of someone who's unaware of your manipulation, you're the devil in every sense and there will always be a bigger light that's coming for you. 

Interesting that you speak of a politician, then post this.

I agree with what you posted in the quote. Even though it is a common human trait.

We excuse taking advantage of the weak with justifications like, "survival of the fittest," and the need to sacrifice the few for the benifit of the whole. But In the end, our animal nature will always win out over the supposed intellect, that is supposed to make us superior.

I have done community work through the United Way, for "Autism Speaks". I even have a couple puzzle peices souvenirs they give the volunteers as gifts for participating.

Autism is so complex and runs through so many spectrums, it is nearly impossible to find someone that does not have a family member, or that does not know someone that has been labeled autistic.

I find autism extremely interesting, because I believe everything that happens naturally, prepares us for survival in an ever changing world.

Humans are not very fond of change and we resist it. But our world makes changes that are slow and on such a microscopic level, that it may take centuries before we are able to recognize what changes have taken place in our world, and in us.

I see every autistic person, every person that we have labeled as mentally or physically afflicted, imperfect, as the possible originators for our future selves.

Just something that sits in my mind of possibilities.

originally posted by: solentsunrise
Writing like that publicly was a huge huge step for me and hopefully a strong ladder for atleast one. Thankyou for reading and for your reply

Like others wrote, last paragraph

And you are you, label's like Asperger or IQ level's won't change that. If you do good for other's it often comes back in different way's then you would think. By writing that I am not implying you do nothing good!

If you can, go out to a forest and no phone or digital equipment, no camera or anything. Just take a slow walk and observe, maybe sit down somewhere and listen, see, smell, touch. There's so much to observe. It will distract you a bit and bring new calmness. Just don't eat any mushroom you don't know or berries.

I read the whole post. Thank you for sharing. From my teens to 35 I struggled with Social Anxiety, depression, etc. One could have certainly diagnosed me as this or that. But diagnoses are dangerous. Symptoms can be vague and attach a lifelong identity to them. I don't like that. Ya know what? I got over my social anxiety by working on myself, putting myself willingly in social situations. Through repetition of danger, we become accustomed to it. Risk is good. Fear is good. They are teachers.

a reply to: solentsunrise

What I have gathered from people with asperger’s,
Absolutely brilliant people, maybe too intelligent, which in turn makes them sad.
I would say 100% depression, sad sad, dead eyes, esp in children. Maybe dead is the wrong word,
Eyes with no twinkle…

Some say poor social skills, I actually don’t think that’s it in all cases. I think they can see through the
Bullsh*t and choose not to partake.

Just my two cents…

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: solentsunrise

What I have gathered from people with asperger’s,
Absolutely brilliant people, maybe too intelligent, which in turn makes them sad.
I would say 100% depression, sad sad, dead eyes, esp in children. Maybe dead is the wrong word,
Eyes with no twinkle…

Some say poor social skills, I actually don’t think that’s it in all cases. I think they can see through the
Bullsh*t and choose not to partake.

Just my two cents…

You bought me with these two cents!
Our society has no place for freaks, especially the ones that could excel us in certain areas. It is funny how "poor social skill" is used to point the fingers away from a society that has failed to socialize, instead it labels and puts away everything out of the ordinary, that is really a good example in social skills! Maybe the Asperger should take some inspiration and do the same.
They could create their own A.B.C.

Asperger's Breakaway Civilization