Oh no! I've been marked by the beast!

I was laying in bed last night, and I kept hearing that annoying buzzing sound of a house fly. I'd hear it, look, and it would stop. I'd hear it, look, and it would stop. Finally I heard it get stuck in the window. So, I figured it would just die from stupidity. So, I return back to what I'm doing, and all of a sudden this droning sound goes right to my head, and I feel the little annoying movements of a fly on my head. I've been marked! Not by a microchip, vaccine, or barcode. By a fly! Well, I got up, grabbed my belt, made my declaration of impending doom to the fly, and whipped the little bastard out of the air.

Now, was there something I was supposed to do to cleanse myself before obliterating the little beelzebub?

Yeah bro..rubbing alcohol.
Those little monsters puke on stuff before they eat it.

a reply to: AutomateThis1

Did you know that flies play dead? It's coming back for you!


(Speaking of which, I'm glad you came back Auto!)

a reply to: AutomateThis1

Haha, I’ve killed 5 flies today. Little fu##ers land on my legs — and they get the flip flop of doom.

Yes, it stings a little, but it’s totally worth the satisfaction. I’ve almost gotten to enjoy the pain. 🍻

a reply to: Mandroid7

It was more than likely trying to infect me with demon spawn and control my brain to make me vote a certain way.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

If this little Baal-bub reanimates from the whiplash smear I turned it into I'll have another chance to trap it in an inverted-enclosed summoning symbol to summon its dark lord and interrogate it.

(Thanks for the enthusiasm!)

Additionally, I’m convinced these little bastards, are the incarnation of the entities that screw with us from other dimensions.

They seem all too smart for their size. And they love to piss us off. Always wondered why it appears they get such satisfaction out of it.

a reply to: KKLOCO

Broooo! Don't you know that means you're five times as likely to vote for the Anti-Christ Trump?

a reply to: KKLOCO

They're definitely aliens. Yup.

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

If this little Baal-bub reanimates from the whiplash smear I turned it into I'll have another chance to trap it in an inverted-enclosed summoning symbol to summon its dark lord and interrogate it.

(Thanks for the enthusiasm!)

ZOMBIE FLY😨😨😨😨

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: Mandroid7

It was more than likely trying to infect me with demon spawn and control my brain to make me vote a certain way.

And make you write anti-trump posts! TOO LATE! Wait how would you know if you truly are infected???

a reply to: abeverage

Wait, but the fly landed on a Republican! Doesn't that mean the Lord of Flies supports the secret machinations of the Republican party? But wait the fly has landed on Democrats too! Oh no! They're all demonic!

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: abeverage

Wait, but the fly landed on a Republican! Doesn't that mean the Lord of Flies supports the secret machinations of the Republican party? But wait the fly has landed on Democrats too! Oh no! They're all demonic!

Truer words have never been written...

a reply to: abeverage

On a serious note. I don't like politicians. I don't respect them. I am suspicious of any person who seeks to place themselves in a position power over others.

a reply to: AutomateThis1

Using a belt to whip flies is new to me. Do I use a braided or a flat one, leather in any case?

Personally, I catch them with my hands or throw my designated fly-pillow. It has the perfect balance between density and throwability to not squish them and or devastate my home. The key is not to throw the pillow like a ninja throw star but align it's surface with the one the flies sits on. The pillow is stored away, I won it at a shooting contest on the year-market. As a pacify price...

A tactical advantage for catching them with the bare hands is to know, that they always take off to the backside. They can only jump start to the back.

But fly season is over here, until March / April.

a reply to: AutomateThis1

Thought this was going to be about Geez. Disappointed.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

I used a belt out of desperation one day when I couldn't find my fly swatter. Apparently a belt has just enough surface area to cut through the air while not pushing the fly out of the way.

I don't have any braided belts, but I'm sure they'd probably work just as well. The key is not to fold it half like your about to whoop someone, but let it fly like a whip.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: AutomateThis1

Thought this was going to be about Geez. Disappointed.

I mean. She might tell ya some things. That's up to her though. lol