Isolation....is there anybody out there?

a reply to: Boadicea

I read somewhere about this January having a once in 500 year thingy between something and some other thing, so I'm not surprised big stuff is kicking off. We've argued before, but this time, it feels lke he's totally gone. How do I stop screaming for him to come back?

Will check out astrology linky asap. Thank you!

Love that my relationship trauma is literally a hill of beans....puts it in perpective.

a reply to: caitlinfae

How do I stop screaming for him to come back?

Why would you want something that has caused so much pain to come back?

Would you ask for the flu back, or a cut on your hand, or violent vomiting?
Of course not, some people are just like those things.

originally posted by: caitlinfae
a reply to: AccessDenied


Bless you AD....it's lovely to see you here, thank you. The physical clean up will start tomorrow, and it's astonishing how much stuff he has in my house. Purge is a good description. I feel like I have a crime scene to clean up.

Since you still have a bunch of his things...cook up a big batch of butter beans...and dump 'em all over his stuff.

ALSO...sounds like you're well rid of the scoundrel...enjoy the fact you've dodged a bullet.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Thank you....was going to sit my sofa in the north, but maybe not now....will rethink. The bathroom has red and purple in it already, so I think a good scrub is where I'm going with that.

a reply to: JAGStorm

That's what's bothering me. I know it's only day one, and I thought I was going to marry this guy, until I found out he was planning a house, marriage, holidays and even babies with someone else.

Am listening to a lot of podcasts about narcissists and other disorders.....well far long that scale. It's keeping me the right way up, along with you guys.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Butter beans on his stuff....too funny. I did think about garlic, which he hates, or glitter. Or both.

Pour yourself some scotch. That was a joke.

Shopping is great for what ails you. Buy frivolously. Call a taxi if you need to. Great deals out there.

Then go home and make a pile of his stuff and call the Salvation Army.

ALWAYS immediately repaint your front door your happy color. Makes his juju stay away.

Do all the things you couldn't do when he was there.

And bake yourself a cake and invite your friends over. Enjoy. He is banished.

a reply to: Floridadreamin

Love that post! Much love to you!

Dunno how long it will take me to pile up all his stuff in the garage, but maybe not as long as I think.

Then a sage smudgy salt thing.

The retail therapy, for housy doo dahs, and a new bed, cos I'm beyond angry that he was lying in my bed messaging here and sending her selfies.

a reply to: caitlinfae

Well, dog poo is also an option...but all too common in these situations.
Butter beans (with garlic), however, will be your own private little joke; He'll just think you're nuts...but it'll make for a great story to share with your friends in the future.

a reply to: IAMTAT

I also just remembered I have a bottle of cayenne tincture in the kitchen. It's difficult stuff and very much inclined to get spilled on the inside of gym gear and so on. Can't imagine how that happens.

originally posted by: caitlinfae
a reply to: IAMTAT

I also just remembered I have a bottle of cayenne tincture in the kitchen. It's difficult stuff and very much inclined to get spilled on the inside of gym gear and so on. Can't imagine how that happens.

NOW you're thinkin'!

a reply to: IAMTAT

Bad bad witch I am.

Actually, I'm not. I like to be honest and have integrity and be considerate as much as I can. I just would also really like to stop wanting to pick up the phone to him right now. It's almost unbearable.

originally posted by: caitlinfae
a reply to: IAMTAT

Bad bad witch I am.

Actually, I'm not. I like to be honest and have integrity and be considerate as much as I can. I just would also really like to stop wanting to pick up the phone to him right now. It's almost unbearable.

STEP AWAY FROM THAT PHONE!

a reply to: IAMTAT

I won't, I promise....I'm tougher than that, but I didn't expect to feel this so strongly. It's a bit disturbing. I think I need to go and re read his messages to her again. I managed to screenshot a few.

Time to rely on a couple American patriots, Orville Redenbacher and John Logie Baird. Both necessary for a pleasant evening of Popcorn and Television. A friend like Jack Daniels would not be amiss.

a reply to: Plotus

Not a bad suggestion at all. Not a big drinker by any means, but still sounds good.

a reply to: caitlinfae

Much love to you, too!

New bed, new sheets, new undies, new towels, new! New you!

Color your hair, get a new hairstyle, buy those new jeweled barrettes in pretty colors. Join some meetups-book clubs-painting-sewing.

Plan a trip to Mustique and see the royals. Are you a royalist? I am captivated with the Cambridges. Sussexes, not so much.

a reply to: Floridadreamin

I''m not a Royalist, to be honest. They're ok, for the most part, but .....nah. Not my thing.

Am going to concentrate on the house, and sorting myself out physically. I have a long term medical condition that requires careful management, so I need to put that first. Was seriously thinking about a total change of hair style too. It's been almost waist length for the last 30 years, but I'm nervous!

a reply to: caitlinfae

Think of yourself -- not him. Pamper yourself! Indulge yourself! Treat yourself!

Start with the five senses...Everything from changing the bedroom decor to flowers and frills (if that's your thing... just trying to think of what wouldn't be his thing) to music playing that speaks to your soul to dawdling in a hot scented bubble bath...

Favorite foods? Indulge! Favorite colors? Adorn yourself and your home! Favorite scents? Surround yourself and fill your home with olfactory pleasures!

Take care of yourself. Tend your spirit. Be good to yourself.

a reply to: caitlinfae

I’ve been going through the same thing for months. Every day it’s still like there’s a gaping hole inside of me. Maybe you’re different though, it seems you have a lighter attitude than I do. I hope so.

I hope things get better for you.